Honoring David: Help Cover Final Expenses

Pictured is my best friend, companion, and husband of 28 years, David L. Vandeventer. David was diagnosed just over three years ago with metastatic prostate cancer that had spread into his bones by the time it was diagnosed. Unfortunately, David's concerns about pain went largely ignored by the medical community for about a year before, finally, someone took an X-ray and discovered the cancer in his bones. This was after multiple trips to the ER in which he was stigmatized as a "pill seeker", in part due to his already long medical and medication history. David has had health problems since he was a child. He hated having to take pills and he hated always being sick. David had 2 good years following diagnosis until the treatment was no longer effective. He entered hospice about 9 months ago with the wish to die at home as comfortable as possible. I signed on as his primary caregiver. In the early morning hours of Saturday, May 11, 2024, David's wishes were fulfilled as he passed in his home, as comfortable as I could make him, with me by his side.

David was an intelligent, funny, kind man with a passion for learning. His love of knowledge extended into music, technology, medicine, and law, among other topics. He was a self-taught systems engineer running data centers at major corporations throughout his career, in addition to owning and operating several small businesses over the years. He did not graduate from high school and, only within the last 10 or so years, did he earn his GED and attend college. He attended college as a means to support and motivate me, as he pushed me to return to school as well. It is because of David's encouragement, drive, and motivation that I completed my Bachelor's and went on to earn a Master's degree, all while working full time. It is also thanks to David's determination and encouragement that I found my birth father when I was 23 and was able to develop a relationship with him before he unexpectedly passed 6 months later. During his cancer battle, I have been both caring for him as well as working towards licensure in my field, all with his encouragement. David was a mentor to several young people in our lives, as well. He helped them with problems, get into school, or start their careers.

Due to his continuing health problems, David was on disability for the last 20+ years and unable to work. I have been the primary breadwinner, in addition to caring for him as his health slowly declined over the years. Money has always been tight, but we've made it through as best we could with my salary and his monthly check. I've used all of my personal time off caring for him and am afraid that my next check will be much less than normal. Through my job, I was able to secure a small amount of life insurance on him to help with expenses when the time came, and I have received tremendous support from work, but I'm concerned it is not enough to cover all of the expenses he leaves behind. That concern is why I'm asking for help. All funds would go towards his final expenses.