Honoring Mary Caroline Kehoe's Legacy

To my family and friends,

I never imagined how heartbroken I would be and how lost I am to pass on the news of my mother, Mary Caroline Kehoe, leaving us. I always thought she would be here forever. We had a very awkward and rocky relationship, but it was ours and ours alone. When I was young, we had our best conversations in our car. I loved riding with her, going from one adventure to the next. She always took us on wild rides. Sometimes they were fun, and we would laugh and sing. Sometimes they were scary, and we'd yell and cry. But I remember she would always look over and tell me that "it's just you and me." No matter what condition we were in, I found solace in that. I believed her, and I knew it was true. I'm just in absolute shock, maybe even confused, because even after everything we've been through and the years apart, I still had the notion my mother was always with me. I often took advantage of and in ignorance took for granted, and now she's gone. I never knew how much her love and energy kept me safe because now I feel vulnerable and as if a piece of me left. There is a huge void I can't describe.

My mother was "a force to be reckoned with." Her faith never wavered. She had an amazing life. She did a lot of things most could only dream of doing. Graduating early from high school and going to college at San Diego State, majoring in one of her passions and one of many talents, art. She was a debutante, she traveled the world, lived in Italy as a young bride, owned fast cars, dated rockstars, modeled, danced, owned horses, had princess weddings, had beautiful mansions, started businesses, and had a brilliant mind to go with all of it. She did all of these things in style too. She always looked like she knew what she was doing, even when she clearly didn't, because falling and submitting to defeat was never an option for my mom. I saw her survive a lot of different traumas. She beat cancer not once but twice, had more surgeries than I can even keep up with. She indulged in all of the experiences, good and bad, on Caris' terms.

A lot of times she was misunderstood and judged by the mistakes she made. I am even guilty of this. She didn't care; she loved me and my brother anyway.

Being a mother is a hard job. It goes beyond the physical duties here on this earth (clothing, feeding, housing), and it's so hard as a child to understand that if your mother makes poor choices, it doesn't define the love and bond that you share. I defined for so long, too long, my mother for her mistakes.

About a month and some change before she passed, I had a spiritual awakening. I was able to understand my mother and empathize with my mother, as I am not a perfect mother and I too make mistakes. I sat back and took a hard look at myself and my inventory as a mother, as a daughter, and as a human. I finally understood. My mother did the best she could with what she had. I needed so badly to tell my mom this and reconcile all of the years of misunderstanding.

11 days before she passed away, I had a brief chance to talk to her on the phone. She was in the hospital and hard to understand and a little loopy (she thought I was her beloved sister). I told her, "I would talk to her in 2 weeks when she was out of the hospital." Well, on August 22, 2024, I got a call from my aunt saying that my mother was on life support and the hospital would be calling me. It was all very surreal. My aunt and I got to be by my mother's side in her last hours. I'm grateful I was able to apologize to her and nurture her in her last moments here on Earth and to understand her purpose and love for me, my little brother, and all of her family. I was able to thank her for giving me life and understanding, and I promised that I would see her into the next life with dignity and respect that she most certainly earned. That everyone will remember her legacy as an inspiration.

We love you, Mom, and I am grateful you are finally at peace and without pain.

We are humbly asking for the support in getting my mother to her final resting place. Our goal in this matter is $2,500 to cover her cremation cost and a reception in the celebration of her life.