Hope for the Martins: Rebuilding After Wernickes

I want to introduce you to my second family:

First, my bestfriend/brother, Darnell.

His wife, high school sweetheart, ride-or-die, forever plus a day partner, Ranisha.

Their two kids Makai (who you may recognize from this viral video ) and Marlei, who is joy personified.

TLDR; I am raising money to get Darnell and Ranisha back on their feet. Ranisha has been struggling with a memory loss disease for the last few years and Darnell has become a full-time caretaker. The related struggles and general life expenses have depleted their savings & altered their lives in ways that they and their support system cannot sustain long-term.

How we got here...

Two years ago Ranisha was diagnosed with Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome, a dimentia-like condition caused by a vitamin B1 deficiency.

Imagine waking up each day with a fog clouding your mind, unable to remember what you did yesterday or who you met. Your body feels clumsy and uncoordinated, making even the simplest tasks a challenge, while confusion and disorientation create an ever-present sense of unease. Think about how hard it would be every day to navigate a world where the pieces of your own life don't quite fit together, leaving you dependent on loved ones you might not fully remember and yearning for clarity and stability.

Now imagine if that was your person. Or that you are a 6-year-old boy or 4-year-old girl watching this happen to your mom. What would that do to you?

From Darnell:

"[Wernicke]...a scary word that impacted us more than we ever thought something could. It showed me how delicate our bodies and health can be. Taking on some of the responsibilities Ranisha had as a mother really made me respect her so much more. At the same time, it's sad because so much of who she was got stripped away like some of those memories are just gone. When every day is completely new it can be hard to understand how she feels. But, I'm here for here like I promised in our vows..."

"Chaplin listened to me and was like wow it sounds like your whole life you've been pouring into others' cups and no one is pouring into yours. You're caring for everyone but who's caring for you? Ya know he really understood not my situation, but he understood my feelings so well."

"It's driving me crazy l've been calling jobs, filling out apps, etc -- no call backs, no info on where my app is, it's been horrible. This has to be the plan that god has for me I can't seem to get away from it...I gotta make it happen or l have to find me a gig so l can relax, im losing myself"

*Excerpts from text conversations

From Ranisha:

“Wernickes a condition I wouldn’t wish on anyone in this world. It’s a condition that almost seems like somebody took you and shook you upside down and now you are left unscrambling the pieces trying to get life back as you know it. It’s hard because you feel like you are on track one day then the next day it’s like you are back to square one. You have to stay positive and keep your head up dealing with this. I tell myself every day the sun won’t shine but that’s why I love tomorrows. Every day I wake up I say, ‘It’s a great day to be alive.’ I mean it, it really is.”

As you can see, that would be, and is, a lot to deal with. I have watched Darnell and Ranisha make impossible choices both in the midst of receiving the diagnosis and after as they learn how to live in this new reality.

It has been heartbreaking to watch each of the Martins sacrifice so much only for life to give so little back.

I watched Darnell quit his full-time job and put passion projects aside to become a 24-hour caretaker for Ranisha and the kids. I watched him do everything in his power to care for a partner with memory loss, get kids to school, cook, clean, take side hustles, and gig for money to put food on the table. Even in the middle of all that, I saw how he took every last second of time and energy he had to let Makai and Marlei know their dad was there for them. Playing games, reading books, planning epic birthdays, recording music, dancing, going to princess tea parties, wrestling, going to parks, and on and on. All that only to be told his resume has too many gaps or the familial responsibilities make his schedule too unreliable to be considered for good jobs that he is more than capable of doing.

I've seen Ranisha fight through prolonged hospital stays. Piece her entire life story back together. Figure out effective coping mechanisms that let her be mentally present and engaged for M&M and Darnell. Learn adaptive practices to the point she can go back to work part-time! She's truly superwoman.

I can tell you I have never seen kids more resilient, compassionate, intelligent, and fun than Makai and Marlei. In many ways, they've had to grow up a lot faster than any kid should have to, but they still have such an infectious, life-giving energy that blows me away.

Go Fund Me

I am creating this Go Fund Me campaign to alleviate some of the burden on Darnell and Ranisha and give them more help that my wife and I, along with the rest of their loved ones can provide.

The goal of $10,000.00 would primarily allow them to escape credit card debt and medical expenses. It would also provide enough for a small emergency fund for rent, groceries, bills, and school fees. Consequently, it would also give Darnell the capacity to look for more sustainable employment opportunities.

If we raise above $10,000...

Every donation helps! We are so grateful for the love shown and the gifts given. Be blessed!