Angel Brown - We Will Survive

Mt name is Angel Brown. I am 49 year old graduate from the Big Beaver Falls Class of 1990. What I wouldn't do to turn back the hands of time or atleast to see in the future. My life has had its struggles, ups and downs, goods and bads but mostly good days thank you God. I have 4 children 28 25 21 and last but not least that last female monster child ..I mean beautiful sweet calm relaxed 16 year old girl still at home. Pffft. I don't like teenagers. Can I say that? I don't for real but I love her so much and Noone puts up with my bullshit sickness crap like her. Don't know what I would do with out her. Don't know what I'd do with 10 7 and 2 year old grandchildren I'm raising either. They are my lifeline and give me this enormous will to live. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2020 then had a double mastectomy in Dec of 2021 then ...ready ready ready for this?!?!? I began to live my life like I was constantly drunk slurry my words falling, groggy just couidnt make normal cognitive connections and communication with people. I started to withdraw I felt like I sounded like I had a learning disability when I try to have conversations with people. So if you see me and I'm a lil off balance and cognitively on another universe just laugh at me...I do. And I'm not opposed to corrections by all means point me in the right direction if you see me going left lol I have been battling brain cancer over the last year and a half. And although I refuse any dicusssion about progronosis. We know that I am terminal. I get so mad like really? What have I done to deserve to die of this horrible disease plus they said they GOT IT ALL with my double mastectomy. Thru the hurt and anger we have been doing the best we can with so much love and support from family and friends. The kids have post its now to stick everywhere I'll see them now because I will most definitely forget. In the midst of chest radiation in Feb 2020 I blacked out a lil so they sent me to the er where scans of my brain were done that revealed the cancer had reared its disgusting mean hateful tumors to my brain this time. Seriously?!?! I thought about my children and my grandchildren especially. How would raise them? Who would teach them about me and hoe much I love them. How much time to do I have to make memories with my family and friends that I love like family. Damn it. My lil babies are terrified they ask me where they will go if I die?!?! Oh God I can't take it. But there is support group I learned out there that does amazing things with these kids. But this situation as far as letting them know How much time do I have dammit that's not important at all.I really didn't wanna know. God said hush that part of the conversation is not for you to discuss with anyone and so I never have. I will live each day (chemo willing) loving and laughing and puking and whatever I will live in spite of it all. There's so much death in misery in my family mostly cancer. I have to break the cycle. I'm trying to hard to break the cycle. We are talking to each other more with less shame, there no shame for most of us.. Talk to your family members, it could save your life. Speaking of family members these lil bae baes Ive technically had loved to death since birth. They went with their mom for about a year then had to come back to Mimi for whatever reasons. Yea I have terminal.cancer but never once did I regret having them here and doing The best we can. But in reality there are things we need along the way that because my social security doesn't support us all I love decided Go Fund Me is the way to go for now, especially with some special guidance from my guardian Angel here on earth.. My son Jordan is his mama's boy. He works so hard long hours but is never too tired for his mom. I may roll over in my bed and he be laying right beside me. I can smell him before he come in the door.. After all we've been thru those early teen years were rough Lord knows I knew we would be ok. I made mistakes we made mistakes but we talk about things that's the only way to break cycles gotta pick up those carpets and sweep. I don't see oldest son Izzy much, it's been about 7 months since I've laid my hands on him.. and once in awhile I can catch him with a phone call. I have apologized to him for whatever angers him I'm guilty. Cancer started this lil searing of anger in his chest even to the point where his memories of things weren't quite right. Nothing but the devil..I pray over my son. I pull him towards me with words of christ. I'll never give up apologizing to all of my children. I want to move forward. I want good health for my smart gifted daughter Tian, to realize her potential and flourish.

I will update health info now that I know the proper way to add info. Please give what you can to my go fund me or please please share it. We would so greatly appreciate sharing this page with anyone everyone.