In memory of Michael Jacobs murdered CVS manager

I am Gabriel Jacobs, last year my dad was aggressively murdered while working at his job at CVS pharmacy. I am writing again to ask our community for their help. 

   Over the course of trying to understand my own ways to cope with trauma and loss, i think fondly about a phrase that somebody told me. I was venting to a close friend of mine about how nothing seemed to help me at all, journaling didnt help, crying didnt help, screaming didnt help, art didnt help, really nothing at all seemed to pacify the heavy feelings i had of loosing my dad. She then told me "well Gabe, nothing works until something does". For some reason this phrase seemed to hit me like a train. From this point, which was not months ago, i made it a point to try everything in attempt to try and soothe the powerful feelings of loss. Something i found that helps me a lot is making jewelry. I have always made jewelry but i have never made it much of a priority, i would casually make wire wrapped necklaces here and there when i felt like it. As of lately I noticed that at night making jewelry and sitting and being in an environment where i can have a creative outlet helps me to get out of the negative thoughts derived from grief. I can make anything, from bracelets, to necklaces, earrings, or even rosaries, i have learned to make lots out of wire and crystal beads too! Since then my mom mentioned that i should try to sell some of my jewelry, it started small and i sold to friends and even some of my teachers who were interested. It only tumbled and because of that i have fully immersed myself into creating jewelry as a hobby.

  My dad and i have always shared a love for rocks and crystals. We would travel all across Arizona to try and find new stones to add to my collection. At one point we went all the way out to Utah to collect a piece called tiffany stone which is a stone exclusively mined in Utah. Im glad that i can always keep these sacred memories close and near to my heart. At the funeral i passed out crystal chip bracelets to the individuals who attended. To my father i gave him a labradorite bracelet, i made myself an identical one to always match with him aswell. Labradorite was the last crystal that he had ever bought for me, we found it at a small shop miles out in Kingman. I used this same stone to wear with me forever to hold him close, even when he cannot physically be with me. Last year i tried selling some of the necklaces i had made at a bookstore, but since then i have only dove deeper into making my goals of running my business into a reality. I think back to my dad and how he would always tell me how he wanted me to be so much more than him, he would often criticize the work that he did stating, "You are so capable of being great and i want to see you be so much better than me". He would go on to say how he wants me to have a better job, a really nice house, and be surrounded by people who make me happy. I would always get confused when he would say this because in my eyes he was always perfect. I thought his job was really cool, i thought he made just enough, i always believed that my dad was the best that a man could be. It's devastating that years later i realized why he wanted me to be better and be in a different position than him. Its heartbreaking and awful that i had to see this through him being murdered at his job.

  In memory of my dad i have started a jewelry and crystal business, Desert Creations. The name stems from all the time i spent with my dad in the hot heat of Arizona, and Creations being the jewelry i have been producing with my dads memory in my heart. I would love the help of my community to support me and my family in attempt to make my dream of a business a reality while also dealing with the struggles of life.