Insurance excess and medication costs

I have struggled with my mental health for more than half of my life. Since I was as young as I can remember I was bullied. I was bullied for everything from being too emotional, to being too skinny, to being too much of a teachers pet. All this torment came to a head in year 12 when I snapped.

Since then I have attempted suicide and been self harming. I have cut my wrists and thighs for the past 11 years. I had developed an addiction to alcohol to numb the pain that had developed. However, I have had that all under control since May 2022. My life was on the up, I was doing well at Uni and found a job at a Community Legal Centre.

But the last two months have changed my trajectory. I was actively considering suicide for two months. I was drinking myself into oblivion and self harming. One night I cut myself so deep that I hit an artery and covered my bathtub with blood. I had to go to hospital by ambulance and then covered the entire hospital area floor with blood.

Why did it get so bad you ask?

The first of October was the three year anniversary of my sexual assault. I was drunk and had taken one of my prescribed sleeping pills. I was unable to move. The perpetrator dragged me to my bed and raped me. I still have nightmares about this and wake up feeling like it is still happening. There is medication to help stop this but it is not PBS and is very expensive.

After that anniversary I started drinking occasionally, not heavily but more socially after being abstinent for so long. Thats where I think I started to go down hill.

Everything got worse in December when the Department of Health rejected my Vyvanse application. Vyvanse is a medication that will treat my ADHD and help balance the chemicals in my brain so I can function like a normal person. When I found out they rejected the application, I felt like all of my hopes for my future were snuffed out. I thought, what was the point of anything.

On top of all of this, it is holiday season. I was given a few shifts and had functions to attend which all involved alcohol; and Australian culture doesn't really understand sobriety well. On top of that, I have a strained relationship with my family which increases the severity of my personality disorder. My addiction became uncontrollable and dipped into my savings in order to buy the cheapest alcohol I could.

What am I doing now?

I booked an appointment with my psychiatrist and social worker who told me that I had to go into hospital. I was given the choice of a public or private hospital. The public hospital at SCGH is incredibly restrictive and provides no therapy, it is just a holding place so you don't suicide. So I chose a private hospital. I receive therapy twice a day and have constant access to mental health trained nurses. This hospital is the best place for my mental health and to get to a place where I can be completely abstinent from alcohol.

The only problem is money. The excess on my insurance to be here is $750 and the medication is nearly $115 a week. And I often have to buy my own food because I am so picky that I don't eat the hospital food.

I wish I could pay for this myself but I am barely able to afford all my bills and my insurance as it is. I can't work the bartending company I work for because of the seizures I am having so I have no income. I am already getting grocery vouchers from Vinnies and assistance with utilities from Riverview. I'm doing all I can.

I am humbly asking for any amount of support to assist me in this impossible time. I can also trade donations for gardening or baby sitting or cleaning etc!