I've Fallen and I'm Trying to Get Up!

Hi, I'm Karyn and I hate to ask but I need help. It's humbling, if not humiliating, to have to ask but my back is against the wall and I have no choice.

I did everything I was supposed to do. I went to college. I have worked hard. I have a career. It shouldn't be like this, but it is.

Now, I am fortunate to be a homeowner. If I were renting, I would have been evicted by now. I have no income. I was able to keep the internet on so I can apply for jobs but I have no phone, can't pay my utilities, my dog's food runs out tomorrow. I was able to get food stamps but they won't cover Benji's food.

I have 3 payments left before my car is paid off but at this point, I am close to repossession. I was going to the grocery store last week and my tire blew out. I had to drive it home (no AAA). I found someone to help me with the spare. The next morning, I looked and the spare was flat.

So how did I get here?

I work as an instructional designer and it has given me a good living. However, a few years ago, my profession went from almost all full-time work to almost all contract work.

For those that don't know, contract work means no benefits (or, if they do provide benefits, they are expensive benefits that you pay 100% for). You are a commodity like paper or print cartridges. You have none of the protections of an actual employee. You can get unemployment though.

I started the year unemployed when a contract ended abruptly right before Christmas. I spent 4 months unemployed. When I got my new contract, I was told it was for three years. I told them when I was hired that I needed two weeks off to go to Ghana and get married. The day before I left for Ghana, I was told that my contract had ended effective immediately.

When I got back to the States, I was unemployed and immediately started looking for work. It took over a month to get unemployment started and then after 3 weeks, I was told that I had exhausted my benefits.

My husband has helped keep my internet on but there isn't much more he can do. He works and has a decent job but a Ghana Cedi is equal to 8 cents on the US Dollar. At that exchange rate, he cannot do much. It's going to take him longer to get here now because we have to go through immigration. That isn't free but I can't worry about that now.

If you help me, I will put:

A recruiter emailed me and said she had called and didn't hear back from me. I used a neighbor's phone and called her back. I can't help but wonder how many recruiters have left messages that I can't return.

This is hard for me. I hate to ask. I hate to put my business out there. I do have a father (mom passed a long time ago). But my dad has given all of his money to scammers who have promised him billions, cars, houses and more. In fact, I hate that he knows anything about my situation because, he has told the scammers who have used it to get what little he has left.

I suffer from depression and 12 years ago, I did something really stupid. I though God had spared me for a reason. Things were really getting better, or so I thought. Now this. I honestly don't know what to think or what to do. I just keep trying because that is all I can do.

When I get out of that I will keep trying to be a blessing to others. I know what it is like to go threw hard times and I really wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I will not waste this money should you choose to help me. I wish I didn't have to go this route but I don't know what else I can do.

Thank you.