J. Ridley Surgery and Shelter Fund: Please Help!

Hey everyone,

Thank you for reading this. I'll try to keep it brief but I'm not great at brevity.

So... as the title says... we need help. I wanted to give the full story of why and hope you'll consider helping us.

About 5 years ago, I lost everything.

I had a generational family house I was due to inherit from the grandparents that I took care of to earn. The same house I grew up in and invested so much time and money and love into, because I had been told it was my reward for staying home, taking care of them in their old age, and raising my son. So I did it. I did the best I could do, given the strict taskmaster nature of my family. Then my grandmother died(this was that 5 years ago), and my entire world changed. My aunt talked my grandfather into changing things. I was told I had to leave, but if I stayed and helped get the house ready to be sold, I'd get a third of the sale price. So I did, because I had no other real choice and intended to use that money as seed money to start over with my son. Then my grandfather died about 6 months later after moving in with his daughter, and the house still hadn't sold. 2 Months later it finally did. My aunt decided to keep the money for herself. My father and my grandparents were gone. There was no one to stop her.

It broke me.

I tried to busy myself with art projects and work so I wouldn't drink myself to death. Anything to not look at what had happened. I was living my mother and her mother at this point until I could figure something else out. Then my mother's mother passed away after about 9 months and my mom had to start selling THAT house. But I wasn't gonna see any of that. I knew that ahead of time.

My partner, Jenny, and I were lucky enough to find each other around the same time my second grandmother passed, through the silliest of circumstances. She won a contest I held for a custom painted set of dice. We got to talking. We became close quickly. So after a few months, Aidan(my son) and I moved to northern Michigan, a beautiful tourist trap called Traverse City, to live with her.

Things were pretty good. I had an okay job. She had an okay job. Bills were tight but getting paid. I was managing my chronic illness issues okay and overall, we were making a go of it.

Then Covid hit. I was suddenly out of work. Bills fell behind. We all got sick to varying degrees of severity. There was... no recovery.

After the lockdowns lifted a couple months or so later(3 months maybe?), we had already fallen behind and with the money we made, there was just no way to easily catch up. But we tried, Aidan helped, etc. We really tried.

My mother and I were no longer speaking after she chose her political positions over her own child and grandchild. My sisters took her side, for all intents and purposes. I was, and am, without family, except for Jenny and my son.

Then, due to stress and trauma and depression.... my health got worse. I was in constant physical agony as my intestines tried to kill me. Dealing with constant nausea. Some days I could barely leave the bathroom because I wasn't able to keep food down. Long part of that story short, I ended up in the hospital. Thankfully not for too long. But my health has never fully recovered from that last major Crohns bout/Kidney stone double whammy caused by my Metabolic Syndrome.

Regardless, I got a new job and couldn't keep up. With just stocking shelves at Target, I couldn't keep up. Found a different job where I could handle the workload as it was VERY light, but they let me go b/c they weren't making enough money to pay me. So I got a job at Jenny's store and worked there for nearly a year before it was too much and I had to stop. That was this past April.

I got Covid again in mid May. Way worse than the first time. Yes, I was vaccinated and it probably saved my life, but I hadn't gotten a recent booster so... I was sick for a really hard couple weeks, on top of my other issues. And when the acute stuff went away... found out I had been blessed with Long Covid in the form of breathing issues. Primarily, I have no "wind" for extended endurance anymore. I can push through it a little but I'm left gasping just... so quickly. It kills me. I used to love to play Hockey and now I couldn't if I wanted to.

With Long Covid being a massive issue and my other medical problems in the form of Metabolic Syndrome, IBS, Crohn's Disease, etc. giving me no end of grief, the side effects of those issues have become a problem. Now I'm facing needing oral surgery which, even with my state medical coverage, is going to cost me more than $4,000 out of pocket, which we do not have. I can put it off a little, so I am, but I NEED to have it done, meaning I have to stay somewhat local to here.

I've turned my attention to trying to make a living through my art and writing. Still a work in progress. Many of you reading this have bought my work and for that I am eternally grateful. Now I'm hoping your generosity might help us do something else.

In August we found out we were losing the house. In order to keep the power on and food in the house, the mortgage has suffered. We kept it alive for as long as we could. We had help for a little while too, but the price attached to that help was....not worth it(not my story to tell right now). It wasn't enough in the end. We've been essentially priced out of this entire area. Everything is so much more expensive here than it was.

We have until early February to leave the house... not great weather at that time in Michigan. Hopefully we'll have a mild winter. Thing is... we have nowhere to go.

I have no family left. Jenny doesn't talk to hers because they disapprove of me since I'm Nonbinary and liberal. We both come from abusive childhoods. We're both neurodivergent. We both are part of that segment of the population that falls through the cracks: Functional... but not functional enough for "normality."

So instead of trying to kill ourselves making a rent or paying another mortgage, neither of which is really sustainable for us, we've decided our best option is to get an RV to live in and use to travel so I can do artist alleys at conventions across the country. But... RVs aren't cheap, we don't have good enough credit, and we don't have much money. We want to make a travelling home for us and our animals. We have cats that are essentially service and comfort animals. We don't want them to be homeless either, and can't bear the thought of being separated from them. We met too late in life to have human kids. These are our children.

I will be fully transparent with what we get, what it cost, and every step of the process. I just need your help to have the money to get it. We're still saving as much as we can afford to at any given point. But RVs, even older ones, start at several thousand dollars. We're not looking for luxury. I'm perfectly willing to get a 20+ year old RV so long as the engine is good and the pipes/electricity work. We'll clean it up and remodel a little at a time ourselves as we can to make it what we NEED it to be. I'll even happily take this GoFundMe down if someone has an RV they're willing to part with cheap or free. If we can get the RV, I think we can save the money for my surgery with a little time.

But right now, we don't have much time.

In exchange, like I said... I want to come to conventions and get a table. I want to document our journey. Our life together as two neurodivergent people living as digital nomads. I want to meet those of you who want to meet me. I want to give more art and stories to all of you. And I'll never stop being grateful for the help we get to do this.

So many people in this world want to get rich. All I want to do is be safe with the person I love, be with our animals, and be able to support us. I never stop having new ideas for art, for stories, for games, etc.. All I lack is the stability of a home no one can take from me after having lost three in a row, and the energy to do everything I wish I could. So I'm asking for your help, because I recognize with our health problems, we cannot do it alone. Please help us achieve us this, help us get the RV we can call home, and I'll spend the rest of my life making it worth your patronage.

Thank You. <3

Jace