James Cathey Jr.'s Euro Trip

Almost nineteen years ago, we lost one of our own - Lieutenant James "Cat" Cathey. Lieutenant Cathey was killed by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) while leading his Marines in combat operations against enemy forces in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. At the time of his death, his wife was pregnant with their first and only child James "Jim" Cathey, Jr. who was born in mid-December 2005, not long after his father was flown home in multiple body bags to be buried.

Lt. Cathey was a prior-enlisted infantry officer, meaning that he enlisted in the Marine Corps first, then decided to get his commissioning to become an officer. (In the Marines, we call a prior-enlisted officer a “mustang”). He was the platoon commander of 1st Platoon, G Company “Raiders”. I was a twenty-six-year-old Lance Corporal Team Leader in 2nd Platoon with ambitions to become a mustang as well. Over the course of a very quick work-up and deployment in early 2005, a counseling session with my platoon commander quickly got me diverted into the mentorship of Lt. Cathey to discuss the way ahead for my eventual commissioning into the Marine Corps. Upon sitting down with him, what immediately struck me was the sense of mutual respect. I remember him telling me that his wife was pregnant and that he would be a dad when we got home. Over the course of a couple of counseling sessions, I got to know Lt. Cathey as a mentor and though our contact was brief, it was meaningful and he made a lasting impact on my career as a Marine.

What Happened? While clearing a building with his platoon in a hostile urban area on the northeast side of Fallujah, Lt. Cathey was running point on the front of the stack as they cleared up through a stairwell to the rooftop of a school. When Cat had enough support behind him to make entry, he kicked open the door out onto the roof. It was rigged with a high explosive artillery round – (a 130mm South African shell if my memory serves me correctly). Cat was killed instantly and the Marines behind him were badly injured. After the MEDEVAC, my platoon was sent in to secure the area. I was a team leader at the time and I was tasked to provide overwatch for my platoon while they cleared the area of hostiles. The best place to provide overwatch in the area was the rooftop of the school. I posted my team there and established sectors of fire to best cover our Marines. There was a huge hole (about 2-3ft diameter) through the concrete roof where the artillery shell had been set and you could see the next deck below through the rebar. The metal door that had been there was crumpled and folded in half long-ways like a taco shell and lying by the hole. Our Marines had had a hard time cleaning up the scene before I arrived there with my team. It was a mess. I remember looking up at a boot print on the ceiling of the stair well. It looked as though someone had planted solidly, then slipped across the ceiling. As I sat there among the carbon-based matter and debris with my team, my mind went back to my last conversation with Lt. Cathey and I remembered that he was about to be a dad.

Years went by, I stayed my course, and eventually commissioned as an officer. About three years ago, a few of us old combat vets were posting on social media about our experiences in Iraq. Jim, having friended many of the guys his dad worked with, saw some of the stuff that I was posting about and decided to reach out to me. After a few text messages, I gave him my number and we talked. Jim is a great kid. He wanted to know everything he could find out about his dad, the guys he worked with, our culture as Marines, what combat was like, etcetera. Unfortunately, I wasn’t as close to Cat as I would liked to have been to feel comfortable stepping in as a helper/mentor-type dude for his son, but there it was - an opportunity to give back a little bit to a guy that took a little time out of his day as a leader of Marines in combat to help nudge me in the right direction. I took the opportunity and offered my help to Jim - all the while feeling like I was overstepping my bounds in doing so - and then realizing that once I strip away all of the hesitation and doubt and just look at the action at face value, it’s really an easy thing to do.

So, I’ve been asked a few times, “Why are you doing this?” I’m doing this because I am driven to help the people who have helped me throughout my life. I’m doing this because I appreciate the nudge that Lt. Cathey gave me in seeking a greater challenge and furthering my career as a Marine. I’m doing this because I think keeping the child of one of our fallen brothers in our support network seems like a check in the "win" box . I’m doing this because it would bother me if I didn’t – but most importantly, above all else, I’m doing this because helping Jim helps me fight my own demons.

What I’ve stumbled upon is a mutually beneficial relationship that helps me have a sense of well-being, reciprocate the love that has been shown to me, and to ultimately be able to look at myself a little bit easier in the mirror while I’m getting ready for work. I do it because it makes me feel just a little bit better about what sort of effect I’ve had on this world and that makes me feel just a tiny bit better about myself. It’s a good thing to feel and I would like to invite you to feel the same.

Those of us who have endured and overcome the visceral (and reasonable) promptings of fear and self-preservation in order to fight, survive, and win in the intense chaos of combat many times come home fundamentally changed as a human being. I know that I was. I remember coming home from my first combat tour in late 2004 still wide-eyed and shell-shocked. As I stepped off the bus to meet my family, I suddenly felt like I had stepped into an alternate reality where everyone I knew and loved my entire life had somehow been replaced by a doppelganger. It took a while for me to come to terms with, but later on I realized that it wasn’t my family that had changed over those first several months in Iraq - it was me.

The combat stresses and hardships that we must endure and overcome on behalf of our love for each other can be exceptionally taxing – physically, mentally, and emotionally. Many of us still carry around enormous amounts of negative thoughts and emotions connected with things we had to do and the circumstances we had to endure and overcome while in combat. Though we recognize and accept this, I believe that the job we do as combat Marines is a necessary evil that we must continue to endure for the preservation of our way of life – so the weird shit like not being able to relate to normal people sometimes just comes with the job. However, I believe that there is a positive way to channel these thoughts and emotions and direct them toward something good and constructive – and that is through efforts like this.

No matter how small the action, effort, or involvement, every tiny positive thing we do helps. The butterfly effect is a real thing. I am now a field grade officer with 21 years of service – 12 of those as a mustang. I’ve truly been blessed. I see opportunities to spread the love around and I want to prod other combat vets to do something similar by “adopting” a family member of a fallen comrade and simply be there for them. Reach out. Call. Text. Check in and check-up on them. Offer help if you can and where you can. It’s really simple and is an extremely powerful way to change the world for the better, reciprocate and keep alive the sense of brotherhood we have for each other, and honor the memory of one of our own in arguably the best way possible. I know you feel me.

Many of us cannot imagine what it is like to grow up without a father. Fortunately, young Jim received a great upbringing under the diligent hard work and dedication of his grandparents. Jim is a good kid with incredible potential. He will be graduating high school in a few weeks and has already been accepted to college. His grandfather gifted him a car and he is currently trying to save up money to fund a trip to Europe with his friends. I took a look at what he is trying to sell on marketplace and his goal appears to be about $5000. If you are unable to donate, that is completely fine. All I would ask is that you share this link with people who you know would love to take part and have the means to do so.

Finally, the primary point of this post isn't to raise money as much as it is to keep up sticking together, taking care of our own, and getting other efforts like this to take off. Please, steal this idea and run it for someone you know of. You never know, you might actually be helping yourself in the process. Thank you.