James Karpowich Family Funerary Support

My father is dying. He had slowly begun to succumb to Alzheimer's over the past few years. In March of 2020, everything fell apart.

Dad and I never shared interests. He was a tall, loud sports nut who ended up with a quiet bookworm. He was never a good family man... or a good man in general.

He would write to my mom's mother behind her back, signing her name and asking for money without my mom knowing (and without her realizing why her already-shrewish mother was even colder than usual to her). When I was in first grade, he emptied the family bank account and left my mom and me without any warning - abandoning me at an after-school program when mom didn't get off work until around 6pm. I remember her and the police showed up around the same time.

At some point he ended up on the island of Guam. He wrote to mom and lied about having a job for her there. I don't know how bad off we were at the time - I was midway into second grade, but have memories of the word "bankruptcy". We went to Guam, losing everything we didn't take with us.

We've been together ever since then - less for good than for ill. And eventually, we came to realize, he was developing Alzheimer's.

The memory loss started slowly. It was mostly manageable... until he decided to stop showering. And to take walks he wouldn't find his way back from.

He'd try to go into other people's houses. One time a paramedic truck found him wandering a mile away by a highway. The worst was the day he wasn't back before dark - we called the police. They brought helicopters, were going to call dogs to track his scent. The neighborhood pitched in and finally found him, walking with a cut and a broken box of donuts.

Thank you, neighbors.

But. March of 2020.

One day in March of 2020, he didn't come out of his bedroom. He'd been sick in late February after deciding to go for a walk in cold weather without a jacket, but had been on the upswing. We just thought he was tired. But when we checked in on him, he was sitting on the side of his bed. He couldn't stand up - screaming pain. We tried to get him up and into the car and he wet himself. He slowly slid partway onto the floor, and even with our neighbor's help we couldn't lift him up, so we called an ambulance. It took four fire rescue/ambulance people to get him onto a canvas stretcher and out the door to the veteran's hospital.

He was fine throughout his examinations - x-rays, CAT scans, and such - but he was also lying down for all of it. They thought he was fine and ready to dismiss. Then they tried to get him into a wheelchair. Screaming again. 3-4 nurses/orderlies then tried to help get him out from the chair and into the car, even more screaming. So they readmitted him and kept him overnight.

He'd had a severe muscle spasm - one that required physical therapy that we couldn't give him at home. So the hospital held on to him, and in the process of his therapy they determined that the Alzheimer's made him too aggressive for us to handle. He would transition from the hospital to an assisted living facility.

I never saw my father again. But we got stories... of him throwing coffee and harassing the female nurses.

Now, while under the facility's care, he was vaccinated... but caught the Coronavirus anyway. An infection that's apparently led to pneumonia. He's now on oxygen and being moved to hospice care.

We don't think he has very long left at all.

These funds would be put to immediate use. Donations would go towards the expenses of laying him to rest and ensuring that the associated medical and funerary costs do not cause my family to lose their home.

He leaves behind a history of abuse and trauma. Please don't let his passing hurt my family any more than he already has. Thank you for reading, and for any help you can offer.