James D. Reed Legacy Fund

My best friend, Jim Reed, passed away on Wednesday, April 15, 2020 at Beth Israel Hospital in New York City after a valiant fight with COVID-19. This GoFundMe has been set up to raise funds for Jim's funeral expenses and to launch a grant-making fund in his memory with the Stonewall Community Foundation. The fund will make grants to nonprofits supporting LGBTQ elders and LGBTQ youth experiencing homelessness. While Calli and I intend to organize a proper memorial once the current situation passes, this GoFundMe is intended to be a means for those who knew Jim to celebrate his life by sharing in the preservation of his legacy.

Jim was born on July 22, 1937. He spent most of his childhood years in Oregon volunteering for the U.S. military upon graduation from high school. Jim served in Germany where he worked as a medic in the army hospital's maternity ward. Upon his return from Germany, Jim met the love of his life Bill ("Marshall") at a small bar in Portland, Oregon. They traveled east to New York in the 1960s after Marshall had been assigned to an air force base on Long Island. Initially, Jim lived on Perry Street in Manhattan with friends of his with a bathtub that doubled as a kitchen table. Soon after, he moved from that tiny apartment on Perry Street to live with Marshall on Long Island in off-base housing. Then the two moved to Manhattan in the building that Jim remained in until his recent passing.

Together, Jim and Marshall built an incredible life filled with romance, laughter, and plenty of traveling — Italy was always their favorite with Venice being on the top of their list. They launched a successful on-site carpet cleaning business that Jim continued to operate until only recently. Their client list was extensive and included well-known individuals including Dick Van Dyke and Mr. Rogers as well as the Schwab and Rockefeller families. When asked to name the company, Marshall said it should be "Reedsway," because he jokingly admitted that it would always be Jim's way. 

Over the course of our decade-long friendship, Jim would fondly share stories from the past about how he and Marshall met, about the clam-diggers they wore that were apparently in style at some point, and about the many memories they shared including seeing Marlene Dietrich in one of her final concerts. Jim's heart broke in 1995 when Marshall passed and it never fully healed. 
I first met Jim in 2010 at Splash Bar in New York City. We had been introduced by a mutual friend, also named Jim. From the beginning, Jim and I hit it off — he became far more than a friend, he became a confidant, mentor, and family. He would join me at family holiday gatherings and forged a wonderful friendship my grandfather, Bill.

Over the past 10 years, I have been fortunate to share many memories with the person who on more than one occasion was there to help me through life's difficult moments. He was the friend you could call in the middle of the night to chat with and who never hesitated to throw on some pants, grab a toothbrush, and come up to spend the night on the couch if you needed a friend.
Jim's friends meant the world to him. There are so many wonderful people who were a part of his life and I apologize if I miss anyone, but here are just a few: Calli and Ryan, Jim, Will and Anthony, Michael, Italo, Marc, Kathy, Kate, Johnny, Steven, Marco, Mike, and so many others. Jim also remained very close with Marshall's cousin, Susan, and her children, Steve, Karen, and Kathy. Jim spoke with such excitement about Kathy's recent visit as well as Steve and his wife, Amy, visiting with him on their recent trip from Seattle.
Jim was always ready, willing, and able to help in any way he could. He would surprise people with homemade breads and sweets. He'd volunteer with local charities (e.g. God's Love We Deliver, QSAC, etc.). When he was diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome (preleukemia) in 2016, he was committed to fighting it. The team at Mount Sinai — specifically the team under Dr. Ilan Shapira — provided compassionate care and many of the nurses including Diane and Regina, became more than just health care workers, they were friends. While the journey was difficult, Jim fought like no other.

When Jim went into the hospital earlier this month, he tested positive for COVID-19 (coronavirus). Jim, Calli, and I all knew that given his underlying conditions this might be a difficult battle for him to fight. Still, Jim fought valiantly. He never gave up, instead he decided it was time to join Marshall in the next life. Over the past week, Calli and I have coordinated closely with his medical team at Beth Israel. He received exceptional care from the front line heroes fighting COVID-19 — with special thanks to Dr. Graber, Dr. Mimken, Dr. Hui, his nurse Maria, and the entire 8-Silver team at Beth Israel.
There are many memories we could all share about Jim and I invite you to do so in the comments below. I could easily chat about our shenanigans at Splash with Calli and Michael or Friday evenings spent at Flaming Saddles with Steven or the shall-not-be-discussed memories from our summer in Provincetown with Michael. Together, we frequented the theaters (on my student and his senior discounts!), tested out new restaurants (Il Melograno and later Masseria dei Vini were our favorites), and spent summers reading together in Central Park or at the new AIDS Memorial Park in the West Village.

On a personal note, I am forever grateful that Jim got to be at mine and Will's wedding last year (March 23, 2019) where he offered a reflection as my best man.
I could traverse down the path of memories we made exploring the City's independent bookstores and I could even recollect the time he helped me move from my apartment in Astoria to Long Island City using only trash bags on the subway (he also took home my rolling kitchen counter, which he rolled home on the subway!). The stories I hold dear to my heart bring both laughter and tears, but it's his legacy that I now seek to ensure.

Jim's spirit, love, generosity, and kindness are in no way limited to the past 82-years, but rather they represent the beginning of what should be a legacy for years to come. It's with this in mind that I decided to launch this campaign. Funds will be used to help with Jim's funeral and memorial expenses, however, any funds after those expenses will be used to establish a fund with the Stonewall Community Foundation in Jim's memory. This will be a small way for us to ensure that Jim's memory lives on in the City he loved. It will ensure that his big heart continues to touch lives.

In thinking about Jim, I can't help but think that he's singing one of his favorite songs right now... a song that use to bring tears to his eyes while listening to Edith Piaf sing it:

Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien, qu'on m'a fait
Ni le mal, tout ça m'est bien égal
Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
C'est payé, balayé, oublié
Je me fous du passé
Avec mes souvenirs
J'ai allumé le feu
Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs
Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux
Balayer les amours
Avec leurs trémolos
Balayer pour toujours
Je repars à zéro
Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien, qu'on m'a fait
Ni le mal, tout ça m'est bien égal
Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Car ma vie, car mes joies
Aujourd'hui, ça commence avec toi

I know that Jim lived this life with no regrets. His life was a beautiful one and all who knew him were deeply touched by his presence, love, humor, kindness, and example of what it means to be human.

Thank you in advance for your consideration of this appeal.

Here is a breakdown of what the fundraising goal would cover:

Funeral Costs: $4,078 (Beecher Flooks Funeral Home)
Initial Fund for James D. Reed Legacy Fund: $5,000
Total Fundraising Goal: $9,078