Janet's Bluetit 6 English Channel Relay Team

Hi All

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and hopefully support me as I head into one almighty challenge. A relay swim in September 2027 across the English challenge !!

I know if asked (and I'm very humbled by it..thank you) that many friends would say ..Janet... "yes she's a fun, great, caring person"

Well yes I like to think I am but what many don't know..is I have been very lost the last few years . JANET has been lost and I've struggled to admit to myself and those close to me, or to get help or to accept support from those around me.

I love caring for and helping others, it is my very essence and that will never stop, I don't believe that makes me wrong? . I didn't realise though over time I was not caring for the one person that needed it most...ME!

I have had an amazing journey through life so far, I have 2 amazing children.. AKA Young Adults !! So incredibly proud of everything they do and the people they are and I love them with all my heart..

The last few years however, of dealing through the care, love and support of life and of my parents ,then grief of loosing both Dad then Mum hit hard . I felt very lost and alone and scared dealing with all the grown up legalities, the pressures , tackling wrong doings. I took it all on. Yes I came out in one piece, stood up for what my parents believed in, but to what cost? Not realising how my physical and mental well being was being affected. I kept up as best as I thought possible, the mother, wife and work role, but Janet was lost.

I will admit openly I counselled and helped many friends and colleagues through menopause, without admitting what this dreadful thing was doing to me also. I became socially anxious, a recluse, anxiety was something I had never experienced. I cried lots, got angry ,got down. I didn't want to say ..could this be menopause ?When looking back I now understand what it does to so many women, and how so many others around us , partners, family, friends, professionals, do not accept or understand the real affects either. Yet it took me so long to see the light.

The light came in the form of a comment...."Janet..you never do anything for you anymore"?

I've always swam....though that reduced so much over the years as body consciousness set in , in a big way ! In fact when I was sixteen I was training to swim the English channel, I gave up..discovered boys LOL. Never did I think 40 YEARS later I would be back there ..YEHHHH BUT I AM

I saw cold water swimming and thought "I've always wanted to do that" Then came the next light comment " Just do it then". So I did.

I was so scared, so nervous, but I agreed to meet a group swimming at Keepers Pond Wales..now my home from home. I nervously apologised for my size, for my worry of how I would get in the water ,let alone out. Apologising for my perception of how people would view me ! No one cared, everyone was just so happy, so normal, people who didn't judge, just cared about people and the cold water. Different shapes, sizes, abilities, cultures , race, beliefs. Ordinary people with such a happiness for this community and this cold water.

The water itself was addictive. I cannot explain the buzz it gives me. I hate cold showers,I could not sit in an ice bath, but as I now know, put me in sub zero or water under 15 degrees to swim and dip and move around in , I am incredibly happy..I am Janet .

Over the last 3 years I have slowly found Janet again. I am gaining confidence again in who I am, confidence in my self esteem and body image. I have found new love of been active and healthy and I thank this to the water... am back to being DAMIT JANET!

Life still is throwing challenges and grief and sorrow at me. Losing the trust for my soul mate of over 30 years has broken my heart, but one thing I have learnt in finding Janet again..is you cant let others hurt and ruin you.

So this challenge and this training, this fundraising and the SWIM..is to say I" can do it". You can find yourself again, you can get through life, take the support, meet new friends, let nature and cold water heal you and proof to yourself and others.."here I am".."life is for living" xx Sod off grief..goodbye menopause! Hello Channel xx Never give up on goals.

I am raising funds to cover the cost of the swim and raise money for the Bluetit Chill Swimmers. The minimum we need to raise per person is a daunting £2200 ........yet so amazing for all it will help ...both me as an individual, the team and the Bluetit community. The Bluetit Chill swimmers are a not for profit CIC (Community Interest Company) who rely on donations to keep them afloat (literally LOL)

They provide a vital TOTALLY INCLUSIVE ,free swim community who support thousands of people across the UK and Globally . Supporting valuable work in water safety, Swim safety, swim coaching and a community ethos and spirt like none other. All this whilst supporting (without even realising it so much) mental health/wellbeing of thousands.

Together as a team and individually we want to raise as much as we possibly can, so all and every donation , big or small will be so very much appreciated.

Thank you in advance

Love Janet

#damitjanetswim