Jeff Head's Memorial Fund

Hello Everyone,

I am Kristi Head (Jeff's Daughter)

I wanted to start out by saying thank you for everyone's thoughts and prayers regarding my dad's passing. Jeff was the most amazing and wonderful husband, father, and grandfather anyone could've asked for. He was talented, he was funny, and he would've done anything for his family and friends. He would've fought tooth and nail for us.

My dad's passing was very unexpected and my family has taken this very hard. Especially my beautiful mom. He has been her everything since she was 15 years old. They were married for 36 years and were together for 39 years. He was the foundation and pillar of our family. His grandson, son, and I looked to him for everything. If something needed to be fixed, dad would know what to do. If we didn't know how to do something my dad would teach us. We could go to him for anything. He was beyond dedicated to his family. I know most of you know how close we are as a family.

I would like to explain my dad's story and the events that led up to his death. My dad built guitar bodies to take care of my mom who is on oxygen and cannot work, to take care of my aunt who suffered a stroke and is disabled, and helped me a lot with my son.

My dad was not feeling well on Thanksgiving, so we decided to postpone until the day after. His stomach was extremely bloated, and he was in intense pain. After it was apparent it wasn't going to clear up I took him to the ER the day after. We got the shocking news that my dad has stage 4 pancreatic cancer which had spread to his liver and stomach. They moved him to the cancer clinic where they had to drain fluid from his belly to reduce his pain and to be able to install a chemo port in his chest. After staying for about a week for observation and to run more tests, the oncologist assured us that he was strong enough to start chemo the coming Monday. We were not given a time frame of how long he had but my dad was extremely upbeat and determined to fight and was full of hope. I was able to bring my dad home that following Friday, and he was to start chemo that coming Monday.

We were so happy to have him home but we noticed that dad was kind of out of it later that day, and we thought maybe it was the morphine that they gave him before he came home. Hoping it would pass we waited for a while. We noticed that my dad was still acting the same hours later. We had not given him any medicine to see if it was the morphine the oncologist gave him or if something may be wrong. Rapidly declining in personality and motor function, we decided to take him back to the hospital.

With much assistance, my brother and I were able to get my dad to the car to take him to the ER Saturday night. After many hours of waiting with my dad, in a now obvious delirium, they finally got him a room in the ER. We stayed all night and did not sleep until we got answers. We were all so confused on how my dad could go from about to start chemo in a few days to this. The doctor came in and said it was the fluid build up on his belly again. We asked them when they could drain it and they told us that it would be in just a few hours. Well, my brother and I waited all night long being by my dad's side watching him get worse and worse.

Finally, another doctor came in and said that the cancer was causing the fluid build up which in turn was causing the severe mental decline. My brother and I stepped out of the room and asked the doctor how long he had. We both were told 2 weeks to 2 months. I had to call my mom and break this hard news to her. She was devastated.

Hours passed and I started getting upset on why they haven't done this procedure yet for my dad, so he would stop being in pain. He started getting more out of it. They did a scan on his head and no tumors were found on his brain. We were again told it was all the fluid sucking the nutrients and sodium from his body. I was told this draining would help him be more aware mentally and probably fix my dad being so out of it.

Again we waited for a few hours. I finally got upset and begged them to tell me when this was going to be done. I was told that dad would have the procedure done at 8 am on Monday. The same day he was supposed to start his chemo. So they put him in a shared room with someone and all we could do was wait until Monday morning to see if this procedure would help. We went home to get a little bit of sleep.

When I arrived on Monday morning I found my dad in a very undignified position and state with no IVs to help hydrate him since the doctors said he couldn't have any food or water due to the procedure. Upon asking about the procedure again I was told that he was just a fill in, and they were not sure when the procedure would happen. So he sat from Saturday-Monday in the hospital without food or water. That is when I left to go get my mom. I did not know what else to do. She came up there and fought with every ounce of her being to have this done that day so my dad wouldn't be in pain. After my mom complained, cried and demanded that they do the procedure they finally did. Unfortunately it did not fix his mental state.

It was painfully clear that he was at the end of his life. That was when I was approached by a doctor that told my mom and I that my dad only had a few days left of his wonderful life. It was heartbreaking, sudden and crushing to us. I just didn't understand how this could have happened so fast.

Having seen what was coming we wanted my dad to come home to pass away. My dad always said that if possible he would want to be home when he died. My mom wanted to respect my dad's wishes and have him at home to be around family and loved ones. The doctors repeatedly lied about when he could come home, further pushing back the date at which he could. The doctors were fully aware of my dad's and our wishes. I have never seen my mom fight so hard. Full of fury and rage she demanded that he be released, so he could die at home. They compromised by putting him in a private room and let my brother stay with him the night, so he wouldn't die by himself and told her that hospice would bring him home the next morning.

The following morning we were told that hospice wouldn't be able to bring him home until Thursday. My mom knew in her heart he did not have that long. Again a fight ensued by my mother to have my dad's wishes respected and to give him some dignity. Finally, after a few choice words he was brought home.

She was able to get my dad home Tuesday 12/7/2020 at 5:00pm. He was surrounded by family and was able to pass peacefully the next morning on 12/8/2021 at 4:43 am. Without my mom's help he would have died alone.

Dad's motto... Family First. My dad has worked so hard, even if he didn't make much, for everything we have and for everything we needed. That was something that I always promised my dad I would do if something bad were to happen. I would do anything to take care of my mom and my family to make sure they have the things they need. Just like dad would. Now that he is gone so unexpectedly, it has completely fallen on me to be what my dad was.

With our money situation being like it is, I honestly just don't know what else to do. My dad did not have insurance and neither does my mama. We were barely able to afford his cremation. I need a bit of help to make sure I can organize a memorial and make sure my family is taken care of along with some other expenses. After many people suggested I try this I am now finally breaking down and asking for help. I am trying really hard to organize a memorial for my dad that he deserves. Unfortunately, I do not have the money left to pay our bills, my family's medical expenses, have a decent Christmas etc on top of the memorial. I have to take care of not only my wonderful baby boy, but my mama, and my aunt. I am now reaching out for help for those expenses. I am just doing whatever I can at this point to ensure my family is taken care of.

This is our story, that is how all this has happened and why we were so shocked. This is why I am asking for help. I was not ready for my wonderful dad to leave. My mom wasn't ready but God was ready for him.

Any little bit helps. I appreciate all the love and support people have shown to my family and to my mom.

Thank you all so much,

Kristi Head