Help Jenny Belmes Recovery From Tragic Accident
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*Day to day updates are provided below the main section*
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We are reaching out to you today with heavy hearts to raise funds for our beloved friend Jenny. On October 1, 2023 at 10PM, Jenny was involved in a fatal collision on Highway 7. A southbound vehicle crossed over the center lane and collided head-on to Jenny’s car heading northbound as she was on her way to work. The latest RCMP investigation confirms Jenny is not at fault, in any way, for this collision and the latest collision analyst report confirms the opposing driver was driving in excess speeds of approximately 160 km/h as they collided into Jenny. She was airlifted by STARS Air Ambulance to Health Science Center in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. She had to immediately undergo brain surgery, abdominal surgery and bowel surgery with more surgery set for her fractured arm. She also has fractured ribs, fractured pelvic bone, damage to both her eyes and further injuries to her legs and chest. She is fighting for her life and has not woken up yet.
Jenny "Jen" Belmes is a healthcare worker. She worked at Brightwater Senior Living, Deer Lodge Center and had begun her journey as Traveling Healthcare Aide in Manitoba with plans to study and become a Registered Nurse in order to further help those around her. Whenever she traveled for work across Manitoba she was so well loved by each community that many of them put in special requests to specifically have her return and some even offered her permanent positions. She always took the extra time and effort to show warmth, care and affection for all people including her patients, her coworkers and her friends. She is originally from the Philippines and has no family with her in Canada.
Because of this unexpected and life changing tragedy, we are humbly asking for help to raise funds for Jenny's recovery expenses that might not be covered by her insurance and we would also need to raise funds for the travel expense of her family from the Philippines so that they can come to Canada to help her with her recovery. All donations raised will be going to Jenny and her family. We want Jenny to be able to concentrate on recovering and we want to lessen her financial burdens due to this tragic accident and future matters that come from it.
We feel blessed that Jenny survived and is still with us, however she is still in a critical condition and has not woken up. She was put on sedation while the hospital performed different surgeries on her. We are unsure if she will able to live a normal life again. With your help, she will be able to be close to her loved ones and her family while she fights for her life. Any amount or donation would be deeply appreciated, no matter how big or small.
If you are unable to help financially, please include Jenny in your prayers for a speedy and full recovery. We thank you for reading this and God bless you all.
I know everyone misses your wonderful smile, your beautiful character and especially that peculiar, gentle warmth you endlessly radiate that was felt by everyone who had the chance to meet you. I hope the world will get another chance to feel your gentle warmth once again. Each time I come back to this page my heart swells up as it is proof Jenny was and is genuinely, truly loved wherever she goes. The sincerest thank you from my heart - for the rest of my life.
-Steven
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We now have a small website dedicated to Jenny's journey which has further details including our news interviews from CBC Manitoba, CityTV News and OmniTV Tagalog at https://JennysRecovery.ca/
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We are in tears due to the overwhelming support and have passed our initial goal within the first 24 hours; we're still in shock that we have secured enough funding for her brother, Nelson Belmes Jr, to reach Canada from the Philippines with sufficient backing to support his family while he is here supporting Jenny. It will be the very first time she has member of family visit her since she arrived in Canada over 12 years ago. Our primary goal is still to help alleviate all future undetermined expenses for Jenny as she continues to fight her own battle. All further donations are dedicated to her and her alone. She has not woken up yet... but when she does, she will know that she was never alone as each and every one of you were here to support her.
As Day Two of our GoFundMe campaign started we were #1 on Trending sitewide. The community not just within Canada but around the World has heard of Jenny's battle and continues to support her. Starting today, she will no longer be under heavy sedation. She has still not woken up yet. It is still unbelievable the amount of exposure, support and publishing that Jenny is receiving. We have also been contacted by multiple news sources and are responding. The most recent report is that her left leg responds to neurological stimulus and her left eye nerves react to pain. Her right eye is unresponsive. Her right arm is still fractured and has not gone through surgery yet, but the surgery is scheduled for tonight. She is still on a ventilator to assist in breathing and they have only now begun feeding her body (via tube into her stomach) as of today. However, she has still not woken up yet.
As Day Three continues we would like everyone to take a moment and think about a happy memory of a loved one as Thanksgiving weekend in Canada begins. We feel very blessed that throughout these last 3 days we have gone from not knowing if we could even raise enough funds to sponsor her brother to come to Canada to now getting so much exposure we have interviews with multiple news sources scheduled. We want to be clear and as transparent as possible with each and every one of you; we were extremely hesitant in making the decision to raise the goal even once, while acknowledging that being in a position to make that decision was already unimaginable. We want to remind everyone that other than the cost of processing fees to allow her brother, Nelson Belmes Jr, entry to Canada on international emergency status, every single dollar raised goes 100% to Jenny and Jenny alone. We do not know if she is able to live a normal life again and what future complications she will have as she has still not woken up. Everything we do is with her health, her recovery, her security and her future in mind as she may have lost her own opportunity to do so. The handful of us are doing our best in providing a proper way to acknowledge everyone who has supported her, with a website currently being built to centralize more detailed updates on her recovery and as well to have a launchpad for projects such as being able to take in written or media samples from everyone who would like to share a story or memory they have with her so we may organize and compile them for the rest of the world to watch together.
As Day Four ends we want to wish everyone a warm and safe long weekend. Here in Canada, it is Thanksgiving weekend and for us there is so much to be thankful for. Some updates on Jenny's condition as of today: She finally got surgery for her fractured right arm. This is the last of the major surgeries scheduled. The operating team has told me there were no complications with her arm surgery, however she did experience a lot of pain and had to be heavily sedated. There is no way in determining the amount of nerve damage for now as she has still not woken up. She is still on a ventilating machine for breathing, along with inserted tubes for feeding and excrement. She has some tracheal trauma and might have to undergo a tracheotomy if she does not improve within 3-5 days. She is beginning to unconsciously move her left leg and arm more but not her right leg and arm.
As Day Five ends, so does the long weekend for us here in Canada. We hope everyone had a chance to spend some time with their loved ones. Some updates on Jenny's current condition: Unfortunately, there was an undetected fracture in her left arm and it has been put into a cast and will require another full surgery. Her right eye is still very swollen, and cannot open and does not respond to stimulus. She has a minor right carotid artery issue in her neck. They have told me it is less than 25% damaged but nevertheless is still a factor in risk of stroke down the line. This will require further CT scans to determine and has future risk of hemorrhages. For the first time she very briefly opened her left eye, but does not respond to any instructions whatsoever.
As Day Six ends, the undetected fracture in her left arm was operated on and had no immediate complications. She still needs an additional CT scan to check a vascular injury. Her right eye is still very swollen and cannot open. She can open her left eye briefly, but cannot follow instructions at all. The ventilator has been removed and she is breathing on her own under careful watch, however she is still on a feeding tube.
As Day Seven ends, the left side of Jenny's body is showing signs of progress. She is able to squeeze her left hand and move her left leg in it's entirety. Her left eye, when briefly opened, is able to track movement for a few moments before losing focus. She cannot speak and does not follow clear instructions yet. Her right eye cannot open in the slightest, and her right leg has not had any noticeable movement. However, she is able to move her right arm very little periodically. This means the nerves are still connected at least and that is good news. Lastly, now that it has been over 24 hours for her last scheduled surgery (involving her left arm), we are now just waiting for her to show us that she can use them both freely.
As Day Eight ends, Jenny bids her farewell to the SICU (Surgical Intensive Care Unit) as she is transferred to the "Step Down" wards. She has been in the SICU for 12 days straight. The doctors, nurses and staff monitored her vitals carefully and said they are stable enough to transfer. A special thank you to the SICU staff at HSC (Health Sciences Centre) who were there with Jenny everyday since she arrived in critical condition. Thank you to Dr. [Redacted upon request], Dr. [Redacted upon request] and Dr. [Redacted upon request] for their guidance. A special thank you to the following SICU Nurses who were assigned to Jenny during her stay - Nurses [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], [Redacted upon request], and [Redacted upon request]. I personally witnessed just how much patience and care each of them showed her and I could get some rest at night knowing she was in their hands. Lastly, there were two more people I want to mention who touched my heart. Jasmine and Helen from Canad Inns room staff who helped me transition inside the hotel. They had already heard of Jennys story through their own friends and once they found out the reason for my stay there was a powerful moment of silence filled with compassion and warmth. The next update will be all about Jenny condition, but for today I wanted to take this moment to appreciate those who share in her journey and those who made it possible for Jenny to have a chance.
As Day Nine ends, Jenny finishes her first 24 hours in the "Step Down" Ward. Her vitals have been stable with no adjustments to her medications. She is currently on a feeding tube, blood thinners, regular tylonel, along with two eye drops per day. She still cannot speak or respond to any instructions. She can only open her left eye periodically - when she does she looks around briefly but she does not recognize anything. She is able to move her left arm and left leg more freely and she is showing signs of movement in her right leg. Her right arm has not moved much at all. Her right eye is still shut and does not respond in any way, even when doing the flashlight test. I am worried that she might have lost her ability to use her right eye completely, but the nurses have said that due to the type of brain damage (diffuse axonal injury) and blood clots between the eye and brain, we must wait to see if she can regain any control of her right eye.
As Day Ten ends we also enter the two week mark since Jenny's tragic accident. It has been 14 days since her life changed completely, and so much has happened so very quickly. Today we were interviewed by OmniTV and hope Jenny's story continues to reach out across the community. Today Jenny was more active and had further purposeful movement in her left arm. Her right arm has not moved since yesterday. She is trying to scratch the areas of surgery, especially her brain surgery area and her stomach surgery area along with trying to pull on her feeding tube. They had to put "Cozy" mitts on her to stop her from continuing. The sutures are being cleaned and maintained with no signs of infection so far. There is one more day of eye drops before the ophthalmologist team revisits her eyes and their condition. Though her left eye is showing progress in movement and tracking, her right eye still remains static and unresponsive. We can only hope for the best following the ophthalmologists review. We were able create a small, basic website for her at https://jennysrecovery.ca/ which is still a work in progress, but was made to provide further details about her recovery and has some extra information about her and all of us behind the scenes. Lastly, I would like to give a special mention to the front desk staff at HSC Canad Inns including Nick, Jean and Harry for wanting to learn more about Jenny's story, supporting her and also supporting me during my stay.
As Day Eleven ends, I wish I didn't have to write this but her update today is not good. There was some new information I found out about Jenny that involves her future. I go through it on my second post of Jenny's Journal located on her small website. I just finished writing that entry, but it is currently 3:39am local time and I cannot find the energy right now to condense the events and new information found out today for this shorter GoFundMe update. Otherwise, Jenny is set to see the Traumatic Brain Injury team at the end of this October in about two weeks time. Her right hand and arm are not in a good condition, and the Occupational Therapy team will likely be putting it in a splint but the preliminary review is likely in 2-3 days from now as it is rare to have the Occupational Therapy team confirm something in the normal wards on a Monday according the her nurse. As well, Jenny is 100% going to be in the hospital past Christmas and entering the New Year.
As Day Twelve ends, Jenny's day today was uneventful. In this case, uneventful is not a good thing. The ophthalmologist team that I was told would arrive today to revisit her eyes and their condition did not show up. I am desperate to know anything about the condition of her right eye as it still does not respond, does not open, and does not react to stimulus such as the flashlight test. I do understand that Health Sciences Center holds thousands of patients and a part of me acknowledges that Jenny is just one of those thousands, but I was told two days ago that today, October 16, the ophthalmologist team would come and review her eyes. I waited anxiously but patiently for two days only to be greeted by no one. As for Jenny's vitals for the day, respiratory wise she looks ok and her skin is doing well according to [Redacted upon request], the nurse assigned to Jenny for this rotation. [Redacted upon request] took some time out of her busy schedule to hear a little bit about Jenny's story and she was very empathetic and caring which meant a lot to me. Jenny will starting taking oral anti coagulate for blood clot avoidance to prevent pulmonary embolism for 7 days then her blood will be monitored again. She is scheduled to see the Plastics team "eventually". I had to ask what the Plastics team meant, thinking it was an acronym for something complicated, but Plastics team is just short for Plastic Surgery team who also specialize in the nerve endings in the face. Her right leg is starting to move more, and she is able to cross her legs which means her right hip area is strong enough to do that motion. Lastly, today we recorded our CBC Manitoba interview which is scheduled to air tomorrow, October 17.
As Day Thirteen ends, there is a sense of relief over some new information I received that involves Jenny, but this information is not related to her condition so first I'd like to go over her condition today. Jenny is now beginning to talk, albeit very broken and mostly unintelligible but she is able to string together simple responses. This is a tremendous step forward as it means her brain is beginning to repair itself. The nurse warned me that because Jenny is beginning to talk, if she starts becoming agitated or more aggressive, this is actually a good thing because it's been proven over many studies that those who go down this route when beginning to speak have better recoveries than those who just remain silent. I am told I have to keep in mind that it may be hard for me to see her become angry, agitated and aggressive, but ultimately it is something that is better than the alternative. The Neurosurgery team came by tonight and signed off meaning their care is not needed at this point. They have written that neurologically, it looks like Jenny can make a decent recovery. Weeks ago I could only hope to write that line and I am so relieved, so incredibly relieved to be able to write that now. Jenny, with her unending determination is still fighting inside her own mind every single second and granting herself the opportunity to get pieces of herself back. Lastly, the new information I received about Jenny was a long awaited phone call I received from the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) who were the team to investigate the accident. Jenny is not being considered, in any way, to have fault in the collision. The full investigation is still ongoing and the final report will take quite some time before being released due to procedures that still need to be done. My utmost thanks to Corporal Garton, Corporal Light and Constable Maloy for their work and cooperation. They also told me Jenny is in their thoughts and prayers with departing words that made me put my hand over my heart as I heard it - "It is unfair that in life, people can do all the right things yet still have something tragic happen to them to no fault of their own."
As Day Fourteen ends, there is more good news. First about Jenny's condition, I am so excited to finally write that she is trying to speak even further. Her responses range from gibberish to being able to respond in simple answers. They are also in English and Tagalog. I am so happy to see her brain is slowly repairing itself. I began to talk to her enthusiastically but the Nurse warned me not to overload her brain with stimulus or information so I had to reign myself in. Between the incomprehensible noises I cannot quite understand, she is able to say "I want sing a song" many times, and "Make it seven", "Make it ten" and she also tried to count down from "Nine eight seven six five" and stopped so I asked her what's next she said "Four" and I asked her what's next and she said "Three" and I was so happy. I asked her what's next and she said "Can I poo now?". Oh no. When I sent that last part to our small team everyone had a laugh but also said that it is very good news she knows and understands when there's an urge. Near the end of the night, Jenny was able to say "Thank you." she then followed it up with "I wanted to say thank you." and "Thank you to everyone." and then finally said "Thank you." one last time before going to sleep. I was able to capture this incredible moment on video and will find a way to upload it to a private Youtube channel shortly and link it here.
*Video is uploaded here: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/AMZR8dOSXxA
Moving forward there will be a change in the Day X titles. Even though this post says Day Fourteen, Jenny has been in the hospital for 17 days. The reason for this difference is because "Day One" was the day we first launched her GoFundMe page and originally these updates were written for all the invaluable supporters and followers. However, I will now be changing the title of the next update to jump directly to Day Seventeen to match how many days she has been at the hospital. Many people have told me that the first 72 hours following an accident of this magnitude is the most critical and statistically the chance of people succumbing to their wounds during this time is at its highest but if they make it past the first 72 hours then the chance of them succumbing significantly drops. I feel like the Days titles jumping over these first few critical days does not properly recognize the intense and insurmountable battle Jenny fought during those life-threatening hours. The next Day will now jump forward to match how many days she has been in the hospital.
Update 16.5 - It is 3:36am as I get back to the hotel. Jenny only now just fell asleep. This is not sustainable and I cannot write a proper update as I am shutting down as well. I was with Jenny the whole day and she was constantly trying to talk, but in very cryptic, confusing ways and she would often not repeat herself so I felt like I was constantly trying to solve a 500 piece puzzle with only 15 pieces. I could see her brain really trying to figure out how to say things properly but she is not saying proper words, often combining half of words to create new ones and she often gets frustrated. Her face was frequently furrowed or as if in pain. I believe she keeps trying to talk about the crash that happened to her and is reliving the moment in her head. This is why I couldn't leave her for the whole day, but also why I had no chance to write anything because she was consistently trying to talk. When her face was in pain I could not focus on writing but instead only focus on her. This is the only update I can give today. I will rest now and make sure to do my best to write a better update tomorrow.
As Day Seventeen ends, Jenny was very active both physically and verbally however one of those would begin a sequence of large issues later in the day. Before that, first I would like to talk about an important task six of us on the team did last week. We all decided that we would visit the site of the crash and look at the condition of vehicle that Jenny was driving. It was not an easy decision, but it was one we knew we had to do. There were 2 main reasons why we all decided to go there. The first reason was to witness firsthand what Jenny really went through that night. The second was to find her belongings that were lost when she was airlifted from STARS. I will go in detail of what that experience was like in the next post of Jenny’s Journal on her website, but in regards to this update, we searched everywhere but we could not find her belongings and had to assume they were lost or stolen.
Until today.
All her belongings were brought back to me by Corporal Garton of the RCMP. They were in terrible condition, but everything was there and I could not be more thankful as all of us thought they were gone for good.
As for Jenny’s day, she was very active. Her right eye and right arm are still completely unresponsive but she is moving her left leg more and is in full control of her left hand to a fault – she keeps on removing her feeding tube. In fact, within a 24 hour period, she removed her own feeding tube 4 times and had to get it reinserted and brought down for X-Rays 4 times to confirm it was placed properly. This also means she was not able to get proper nutrition for 24 hours. She has her “cozy” mitts on which is like a special boxing glove that prevents people from using their fingers, but she somehow removes it regardless of how tight it is and then she quickly pulls out her tube even with constant watch. She is starting to grow an epithet on the floor - The Troublemaker. She still does not have clearance from the hospital staff to remove the feeding tube as they say she still needs it so it is something she has to put up with for now even though she clearly does not like it.
She was able to talk a bit more but it is clearly very difficult for her to string together the proper words to convey what she’s really trying to say. It is painful to see her become frustrated. She is able to mostly listen and understand full sentences at slower conversation speeds so with that in mind, it must be very hard for her to not be able to string her own proper sentences even though she can understand them. I believe she is aware that her brain is simply not cooperating fully right now as some of the few short sentences she was able to say today also happened to really break my heart:
“I’m not in a good situation.” and
“I can’t smile.”
Only time will reveal just how much of Jenny will return to us from the ongoing battle inside her own mind and her own body but I know she is still fighting continuously to get back as many pieces of herself as she can.
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I apologize for the delay of these updates, the limits of my body caught up to me. Day Eighteen and Nineteen were posted together.
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As Day Eighteen ends, the X-Ray confirms her feeding tube is finally in the correct position. She is now under high alert watch because she is now known on the floor to be a lightning quick feeding tube remover with only her left hand, even if it’s in a restricted cozy mitt. Due to her numerous and successful feeding tube removals last night, Jenny has not received any nutrition other than water over the past 24 hours. Because of this, Jenny has been asleep the whole day without waking up or even saying a single word.
The long awaited OT team (Occupational Therapy) arrived this morning and showed me some basic techniques to help alleviate strain for the muscles in her right arm and hands as they are still stuck in a bad muscle tone position where she’s constantly clutching and curling everything, including her fingers, towards her body. They are able to extend her right hand (forcefully) and she is showing signs of her muscles loosening which is good. OT said it’s still much too early to tell if its brain damage or muscle damage for this issue but that a potential reason is that because the right side of her body took the most damage in the accident, she may be subconsciously trying to protect her right side by clutching her entire right arm inwards. Half her stomach staples from the stomach surgery were removed today; I am happy to report there were no infections. The other half is supposed to be removed later by medical trainees and I am sure Jenny fully understands and is ok with that. Because of last night and her escapades, the redoing of four different insertions, with the following four transfers onto the transport bed after each insertion and the drain of four Xrays after each transport, all within a 24 hour period, her body must have been very exhausted as she was quite sweaty and dirty from the ordeal. The floor team knew this and Jenny received a very thorough wash overnight and looks much better today.
As Day Nineteen ends, the Nurse reported that Jenny was able to say her name overnight. She was also able to say the day and month of her birthday, but not the year. When I heard of the news, I asked Jenny if she could tell me her name but this time around she said she could not. I asked again and she repeated that she could not. This is proof that her brain really does fluctuate between alertness but it is overall showing slow but positive progress.
Doctor [Redacted upon request] from the TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) team arrived this morning and told me that left side of her brain controls the right side of her body meaning that most of the brain damage she received is actually on the left side even though the surgery was on the right side. They discovered a blood clot in her lungs and she is being given “Apixaban” for it which will likely solve itself over time.
Doctor [Redacted upon request] and [Redacted upon request] from the Physiotherapy team came by in the afternoon. They were able to sit her up and test how she holds herself in a seated position. Seeing them do this broke my heart because it was the first time I got to see Jenny sitting upright since the accident and she... she looked like an exhausted rag doll with no control of her body. With [Redacted upon request] supporting her back and [Redacted upon request] supporting her neck, she just sat there with eyes closed. I could tell she was using a lot of effort to just simply sit but as I looked at her I felt such an incredible wave of sadness wash over me. Her hair was a mess, she could not open her eyes, her mouth was hanging open and with the feeding tube in her nose she just sat there at the edge of the bed barely existing. It was an extremely painful, eye opening experience to see her like this because it harshly reminded me that this is going to be a very long, difficult journey for her. As she was laid down after the activity she did not speak until near the end of the night when out of nowhere at 10:33pm she said something that I thought I misheard so I asked her and she said it again for me.
“I can change... I can change."
As Day Twenty ends, it was an overall slow and uneventful day with Jenny which is a good thing. She got repeat bloodwork due to not having nutrition for 24 hours from her infamous escapade and her report is mostly normal across the board except low levels of magnesium and potassium. She is given "Hydromorphone" multiple times a day which specifically targets her moderate and severe pains. The rest of Jenny's stomach staples were removed today with no issues. They also changed both her arm surgery dressings, her "pick line" dressing which is the location in her arm where she receives IV (Intravenous fluids) including water, pain medication and electrolytes. There was a dressing on her right hip that I was not aware of since that area was always covered under her briefs. I was told this damaged area was likely caused from the burn of the seatbelt from the collision. It will make a full recovery but the placement causes a lot of discomfort and itchiness from Jenny as the brief also goes over this area. She did not speak much today which I accept will happen frequently as she recovers, but when she does she is speaking Tagalog more than English. I do not speak Tagalog myself, so I have to ask her to repeat it and try to record it so I can get a translation but she often does not repeat it so I apologize to her many times for not being able to understand which I notice she sometimes gets frustrated with. She is aware that her brain is not cooperating with her, and I always assure her that it's ok and this will just take time. I often ask if she can repeat what she says in English but she cannot. The only notable line she said in English today was "Make it five", "Make it seven" and "Make it ten" which she repeated many times. I am still trying to figure out what it means as it must be important to her because she kept saying it.
Lastly, today was my final day of coverage from MPI (Manitoba Public Insurance) for a hotel room at HSC Canad Inns located right beside the hospital. This coverage provided the foundation I needed to exist, let alone continue, following the day of her accident. I would like to thank Deserae, my case manager, for approving this and assisting me every step of the way.
When I first entered HSC Canad Inns, I kept a low profile but slowly over the two weeks, staff from all across the different teams at the hotel learned about Jenny's story and began to recognize me everyday. Originally along with Nick, Jean and Harry from the Front Desk staff, I extend my sincerest thank you to Norjohn, Harpreet, Sukhmeen, and Sully for showing care, patience and compassion to Jenny and I during my stay. Jasmeet from Security, who I never spoke to before up until that point, walked up to me on my final day and asked about Jenny's progress and that truly touched my heart. Ron and Raman from Aaltos, who were there for my first meal at the hotel, eventually learned of Jenny's story and supported me whenever I stopped by. Akosua from Garbonzo's, who was always accommodating to any request, even up until 12:00am when they closed for the night. Along with Jasmine and Helen from the Canad Inns Room staff, I'd like to mention Irene and Nino who recognized me out of nowhere and gave their support and wishes.
After I walked past the hotel doors for the last time, I spent the rest of the day alone beside Jenny until by chance, her coworkers Sumeet and Mildred from Deer Lodge came to visit her coincidentally at the same time. We all shared a tender moment together as they reminisced with stories about working together with Jenny that I never heard before. They were all about Jenny just being her usual vibrant, helpful, energetic self and how she was always supportive to all situations no matter how crowded or stressful.
As I say goodbye to my home for the past two weeks, there were so many people from staff to coworkers to even the hotel guests that I want to thank for helping keep me afloat so I can continue being there for Jenny. I am still in a state of disbelief that some of the hotel guests told me they had already heard about Jenny and gave me their wishes and support. Thank you everyone at HSC Canad Inns for these meaningful past two weeks. Thank you Deserae from MPI for approving my stay. Thank you dearly to the Canad Inns Housekeeping team for your amazing, unexpected support and lastly I will never forget to give my personal thank you to each and every one of you for reading these updates, for choosing to follow Jenny and for continuing to spread her story as she perseveres through her long journey to recovery.
As Day Twenty-One ends, Jenny was able to have her dressings removed from her right and left arms as the incisions of the surgeries are clean and show no signs of infection. Unfortunately, she is still not able to move her right arm and her right eye still does not respond to any stimulus. She will be scheduled to have the Speech & Language team come in two days which is the team that can determine if she is ready to start eating normally so they can remove the feeding tube in her nose which she's made very clear she does not like at all. The health care aides today, [Redacted upon request] and [Redacted upon request], gave Jenny a very thorough hair wash and she seemed very happy about it. She still does not speak often but when she does it's broken and cryptic. She also continues to speak in Tagalog most of the time. If she does speak English, she usually continues to say “Make it five”, “Make it seven” and “Make it ten”. Sadly, today was the first time I heard Jenny scream in pain as the evening nurse did not know about the fragile state of Jenny’s right arm and quickly lifted it during a vitals check which made Jenny scream out loud. It was a very hard thing to witness but it confirms the state of her right arm and how painful it must be for her at all times even if she cannot move it.
Finally, today marks exactly three weeks since the day of the accident. From not knowing Jenny was even alive three weeks ago to her state now, I am forever thankful she survived but I have to mournfully acknowledge that there will be permanent damage to her and she will have to fight a continuous lifelong battle to get pieces of herself back.
As this very somber anniversary passes, I've been repeatedly requested by many to write about my visit to the crash site. I decided this is a suitable time to complete that request. I have now written a detailed entry about my visit to the site of the crash and the aftermath. There are pictures of her destroyed vehicle and it is very disturbing but for those who wish to read about it, it is located as the latest entry of Jenny's Journal on her website at https://JennysRecovery.ca/jennys-journal/entry-05-to-you-21-days-ago/ .
As Day Twenty-Two ends, it was another overall slow day. Jenny has a new “cozy” mitt which is much cleaner than the original one she got all the way back from her time in the SICU. The first mitt had lot of unsanitary stains from her scratching different areas over time, and she kept touching her forehead and face with it so it really troubled me but there were simply no more mitts in stock until today. I am so very happy she has a new, clean mitt. Jenny has been sleeping more often and spends very little time awake. When she is awake, she slowly tries to talk but it’s not close to normal conversation still. She does not remember my name, but says yes when I ask her if she knows who I am and that is more than good enough for me. Physiotherapy did a mobility test before I got here, but the nurse does not have access to the report so I don’t know the results but I do know the Occupational Therapy team ordered a new splint for her right arm and wrist. I also learned her food tube is referred to as “N.G.” which stands for Nasogastric Tube so I’ll be writing it as N.G. from now on. She has not pulled out her N.G. for the last two days which has made everyone on the floor happy including myself since that means her body has been receiving consistent nutrition for at least the past 48 hours.
As Day Twenty-Three ends, I received some extra technical information about Jenny’s condition. Starting with her most recent blood work, her white blood cell count jumped from 9 (normal) to 14.8 (very high) which suggests she has an infection somewhere in her body. She’s been started on a general antibiotic as they wait for the blood culture test and urine bacteria test which takes a few days to determine exactly what’s the cause. Once they find out the exact cause they will adjust the general antibiotic to specifically target the infection. They did a chest X-Ray today and it showed nothing significant which is good but she still does not show signs of movement in her right arm and her right eye still does not respond to any stimulus.
Lastly, there was a very important milestone passed today. From all the way back at Day Fourteen, one day after Jenny was able to begin speaking, it was the first time I heard Jenny say “Make it five”, “Make it seven” and “Make it ten”. Since then, she would often repeat this but change the number and I’ve been desperately trying to figure out what she meant. All I had done was continuously ask her what she meant over and over again but she could never explain it to me. Only today, finally, after so much frustration, I figured out what she’s been trying to say to me this entire time.
This evening, as I was looking at her, I saw her left eye move somewhere right before she said “Make it nine.” so on a whim I decided to try something new and look at the room from her perspective. I’ll post Jenny’s view so you have a chance to figure it out before I reveal it.
“Make it seven.” means it’s seven o’clock. “Make it nine” means it’s nine o’clock. “Make it ten.” means it’s ten o’clock. After realizing this I asked Jenny if she was trying to tell me what time it was, and she said yes. I thought about it, then asked her if she is trying to tell me to go home, and she said yes.
This meant that the entire time, ever since Day Fourteen, one day after she was able to say her first words again, Jenny has been trying to tell me to go home because it’s getting late. It means Jenny knows I’ve been here everyday. Though she cannot remember my name yet, she acknowledges I’ve been beside her. This entire time Jenny was just trying to tell me
“Steven, it is getting late. You need to go home and get some rest.”
The amount of tears that suddenly streamed down my face after finally realizing what Jenny meant the whole time was very, very unsightly but it gave me so much reassurance to keep moving forward because it is concrete proof that pieces of her are slowly coming back.
As Day Twenty-Four ends, the white blood cell count has dropped from 14.8 yesterday to 12.8 today so the antibiotics have been cooperative and working with her body. This morning the staples in her left arm were approved for removal and have been removed with no issues. I will be posting pictures of the before and after on her website (I cannot here due to them being sensitive images). Jenny has new red stains on her cozy mitt, and upon carefully examining I notice it is dried up blood. I went to go check her body for any signs of blood but saw nothing but as I checked her face I noticed there are dried up patches of blood in her nostrils, the area around the N.G. and her philtrum (the area between the nostrils and upper lip). As I examine the dried up blood patches, I start seeing fresh blood. I go to grab some napkins to clean it up and by the time I come back there's even more blood pouring out her nose dripping into her mouth and even down her neck. I hit the call button for the nurse as I try to prevent the blood from dripping further. As the nurse comes, we continuously clean up Jenny together and eventually a blood clot falls out her nose. The nurse asked Jenny if she was in pain and she responded yes, so she was given pain medication. I asked Jenny if she could feel her right arm at all and she said no. Lastly, the T.B.I. (Traumatic Brain Injury) team is set to come see Jenny in 2 days time to administer a test to see if she's ready for the next step of their recovery process.
As Day Twenty-Five ends, it is a tough day for Jenny and I. Starting with vitals, everything is average except her hemoglobin (protein in blood that transports oxygen) is low. Her white blood cell count is 12.3 meaning the unknown infection is slowly dissipating. Her T.B.I. (Traumatic Brain Injury) assessment is scheduled for tomorrow. During the evening, I ask Jenny the same basic questions such as "Do you remember me?" which she usually responds "Yes" and then I follow up with "Do you remember my name?" which she always responds "No". The next question is something that I don't ask often - I ask "Are you coming back to me?" and though she usually responds "Yes" this time she responds "No". I'm taken aback, so I ask her again, "Are you coming back to me?" and she responds "No". I am hoping that maybe she is confused or her brain is floating in and out so I desperately ask her one more time "Are you coming back to me?" and she responds "No".
I become very dejected as the evening goes on but unbeknownst to me the worst is yet to come. At 9:33pm the health care aide, [Redacted upon request], comes in and asks me how Jenny is doing and I say she's not doing too well as she is restless and might be in pain so I ask Jenny if she is in pain for verbal confirmation and as I look at her carefully for an answer I notice there is blood going down her neck again. I look at her nose, because that's where the blood came from yesterday, but it is dry. Instead, the blood is coming from the edge of her mouth. Jenny is spitting out blood. I immediately hit the call button and her assigned nurse for the night, [Redacted upon request], comes in and we start cleaning her up immediately. After we're done cleaning [Redacted upon request] gets a wooden tongue depressor and asks Jenny to open her mouth a bit so she can examine where the blood is coming from. She does not cooperate. I ask Jenny to please listen to [Redacted upon request] so we can see why there was so much blood, and she does not cooperate. I beg Jenny to please let [Redacted upon request] have a look so we can help her, and she does not cooperate. Jenny just continued to stare blankly at the wall. It's only after the third time asking and lack of response that something in me just completely breaks down and the tears start.
Jenny does not speak for the rest of the evening and eventually I am asked to go home for the night. I could only walk with tears streaming down my face. I feel useless. I cannot help her. I cannot do anything.
As Day Twenty-Six ends, the S.L.P. (Speech-Language Pathologists) team finally came in to administer the test that would allow Jenny to have her N.G. feeding tube removed. They’re the experts to determine if Jenny can eat and drink properly. With her N.G. removed she can finally have her cozy mitts removed which would grant freedom in her only functioning arm. I was not present during the test so I don’t know what it entails, but I do know that unfortunately, Jenny failed the test which means the N.G. and cozy mitt stays until they come back for another test.
Jenny’s red blood cell count was very low so she was given 3 units of blood. She was bleeding from her nose and her mouth over the past two days, so they think she is internally bleeding somewhere and was sent for a C.T. scan with pending results. I learned that the T.B.I. (Traumatic Brain Injury) team will not consider taking Jenny in for the next step of brain recovery until she’s cleared from the S.L.P. team.
Her nurse this evening was [Redacted upon request], an expert in surgical oncology. He taught me a lot of brand new ways to help Jenny including different types of massages to prevent atrophy in all her muscles around her body. He was a great presence and I am very glad to have met him.
Lastly, I paid my first visit to the Manitoba Brain Injury Association today. It is a group of individuals who all suffered brain injuries that meet once a week to do activities but also discuss how they’ve adapted or coped with the struggles of trying to live a normal life. I was welcomed with open arms and I truly learned a lot from this first meeting. I hope to go next week as I’d to learn more about life from their experience as it might help me understand Jenny's journey a little more.
As Day Twenty-Seven ends, the C.T. scan report returned and there are no signs of internal bleeding inside Jenny. They are unsure where the bleeding is originating from but she was given Apixaban for blood clots. Her white blood cell count is 9.7 which is much better than the 14.8 four days ago. Sadly, her right arm seems to be getting worse as the days go on. I used to be able to stretch out her fingers nearly straight out, but she says it's painful at half the way now. Her arm is almost always curled into her chest and I used to be able to almost stretch it straight but she says it's very painful when I just try to move it. As a reminder, one of the potential reasons the O.T. (Occupational Therapy) team says her right arm might be like this is because she might be subconsciously trying to protect her right side as it suffered so much in the crash. Her right eye also remains unresponsive. The phrases she said today were "Thank you", "Maybe I'm not okay" and "My right arm hurts."
As Day Twenty-Eight ends, Jenny’s vitals are almost all normal. Her white blood cell count is 7.7 which means the infection is cleared and she just needs to finish her antibiotic dosage. They did not determine what exact type of infection it was, but at least it’s gone. When I walked in to see Jenny today, she was not sleeping in the normal bed position but to my surprise she was completely sideways. She is very small, so it was very easy for her to shift sideways in the bed. As the evening went on, the nurses and health care aides would keep repositioning her to the normal sleeping position and she would eventually just start turning until she was sideways. I kept asking her why she does this and she replied “I don’t know”. The other phrases she said to me today were very heartbreaking, especially after the ones she said yesterday. Today she also said “I should not have gone.”, “I should have called.” and “I should have gone home.” I know she is reliving the crash over and over again inside her mind as it is by far the most prominent thing she talks about whenever she’s able to convey whole thoughts. It is agonizing enough to see Jenny in so much physical pain but to know she’s heavily suffering even further in her mind is just excruciating. I go over my thoughts from this in more detail with the latest entry of Jenny's Journal on her website at https://jennysrecovery.ca/jennys-journal/entry-06-hopes-and-dreams/
As Day Twenty-Nine ends, Jenny was more settled throughout the day. There were less erratic movements but she does keep shifting to lie horizontally in bed instead of the normal vertical position. I was told she should be in the vertical position as much as possible because she still has her N.G. (feeding tube) and if she isn’t in an upright position it’s a potential choking hazard. She is often re-positioned but always ends up sliding herself to eventually lie horizontally. Today all her vitals are reasonable and I was told her speech is making a bit more sense by the morning nurse. She is beginning to respond in English if someone talks to her in English instead of exclusively answering in Tagalog. I was advised to start bringing in things that might help jog Jenny’s memory so I brought her favorite sweater but she said she did not recognize it. I also brought her favorite teddy bear which she did recognize and I was happy to hear this. The teddy bear stays with her everyday now.
As Day Thirty ends, it was a short but very painful day for Jenny and I. To begin, over these past few weeks I’ve earned the trust of the hospital ward to watch over Jenny when I am beside her so whenever I show up the assigned health care aides know they can leave Jenny unattended and do other tasks. Before I arrived today I went to a restaurant nearby to eat lunch. After I arrived, my stomach started feeling upset but I ignored it. I first noticed Jenny was very restless and continues to lie horizontally in bed. I lower the bottom railing of the hospital bed and sit beside her. I then see her grab the upper railing and try to pull herself up over and over again but the cozy mitt is on her only operative arm so she cannot grip the railing enough to pull herself far. Over the next few minutes, I begin feeling very nauseous and begin to dry heave. I left the hospital bed to grab the chair in the corner to sit down properly. As I continued to dry heave, more and more saliva seeps out so I grab the small garbage bin and place it in front of me fully expecting the worst to come out. My body is in a lot of pain and I push the chair to the back wall so I can rest my head against it. My eyes close as I focus and tell my body to ignore the pain. It is a very tough few minutes and with my eyes closed I fully focus to avoid throwing up in the hospital. To me, throwing up is the worst case scenario right now. Well, I thought it was until all of a sudden I hear an unfamiliar sound… like a sliding noise. Sort of like *shwoop*. My eyes can barely open right now due to the pain but when I open them… I see Jenny lying on the floor. Jenny lying on the floor. All of a sudden Jenny who was just on the bed a moment ago is now lying on the floor and she is moaning in pain while struggling helplessly. I go absolute full on panic mode. I quickly realize I am all alone in the room and Jenny is lying on the floor. I immediately go to her and support her head. Did she bang her head? What happened? I search for the call button. I cannot find it. The button is not in it’s usual spot. Why isn’t it in it’s usual spot? It’s always hanging off the side of the bed and it has been there every single day I’ve been here except today. Surely it’s still there and I just can’t find it so I continue to search for it while trying to support Jenny. It’s just not here, I cannot find it. There really is no call button. Jenny has fallen onto the floor and I am really alone in the room. I do not know what to do. Jenny is moaning in pain. I have no choice, I have to leave Jenny to call for help. I apologize to her profusely and say I have to be right back and run right into the hallway and the first person I see I yell that Jenny fell off the bed onto the floor. In less than a minute 7 different people are in the room checking Jenny, her vitals and her head while figuring out how to lift her back onto the bed. I mentioned I couldn’t find the call button, and the reason is because someone put the call button in the wrong place against the corner wall and not in it’s normal spot beside the bed. The one day it’s not in the proper spot and it’s the one day I needed it the most. I am hunched over because of the intense physical pain from the upset stomach but the mental pain is even worse. I discover the only reason Jenny was able to slide off the bed was because I lowered the bottom railing and forgot to put it back up before I sat down in the chair. I do not know exactly how Jenny fell after she slid off the bed. I do not know if she banged her head on the floor, or worse, the sharp metal corner of the IV stand. I do not know if she rolled on the floor first then banged her head afterwards. I was the only one there when she fell on the floor and I don’t even know what happened. The only thing I do know is that I now lost the trust of this hospital wing and I also lost the trust in myself. I failed Jenny today. I feel miserable and due to the physical pain I’m in, I am forced to leave early and go home. I have no actual updates on Jenny today. All I know is that she is worse today because I came to visit. I hurt her today due my irresponsibility. I am so very extremely disappointed in myself. I am so, so sorry Jenny. Please tell me I did not cause any further brain damage. If I did, I will never forgive myself.
As Day Thirty-One ends, we bid farewell to October and enter November. Today marks the milestone of exactly one calendar month from the very moment Jenny’s life was forever changed. Just one month ago, Jenny was on the way to her regular overnight shift at Arborg Personal Care Home located over an hour north of Winnipeg. That night seemed like any other October night and as time went on, no one could possibly see the future that was lurking in the horizon. Unbeknownst to everyone, Jenny’s future was inconspicuously intertwined with someone else’s – someone she never knew and someone she’ll never be able to meet again. As this string of fate was pulled apart, both their futures horribly collided. Because of this encounter, Jenny did not make it to Arborg that night. Instead, Jenny was found tossed into the prairie fields with her destroyed vehicle laying on it’s side filled with shattered glass and wrecked machinery. Jenny hung there, sideways, suspended by her seatbelt. While her severely injured body barely held onto life, Jenny’s dreams of her future evaporated into the stars. She was then forced to agonizingly fight against death itself all alone in the darkness of night. She would eventually lose and succumb to her wounds, but she kept fighting for as long as she could and before she lost her battle, the stars received her call and they answered. From the sky itself, STARS Air Ambulance arrived. Jenny’s life would not end today.
And it has been one month since that day. The incredible number of things that have happened over this past month were completely overwhelming and I admit I nearly crumbled apart during extremely tough moments. However, being beside Jenny everyday and writing daily updates for her website & GoFundMe, I was able to keep track and see so many different parts of society working in tandem that I would never see otherwise. I have come to truly appreciate what things we have in this part of the world. I got to witness first hand the amount of people, businesses and organizations that have extended their hand to help Jenny with her recovery. Instead of an update, I will take this opportunity to recognize more people and organizations that have supported Jenny on her journey to recovery.
Joseph from Dancel Law Office, Maria (Khristine) from Royal Bank of Canada, Jeevs from Service Canada, [Redacted upon request] from Health Sciences Center Social Work, Kristin from JEM Insurance, Karen and Dawn from the Manitoba Brain Injury Association, Oliver from Oliver Professional Dog and Cat Grooming Spa, Fred from Fleet Autobody and the anonymous manager at Apple Polo Park. These individuals all work for businesses and organizations but still went out of their way to support Jenny on their own accord. My heartfelt thank you to each of you.
Vince & Annick from The Forks and Stanley from Brandon, your warmth and support helped me greatly.
To all my family members here in Winnipeg, you all know more than anyone I always kept my life as private as possible but here we are. I have seen all your names on the donors list. Thank you and I will hopefully see you all at our Christmas gathering this year.
Lastly and most importantly, my personal message to all donors and groups that I may never have a chance to meet. I want you to know that one day, when life allows and Jenny is able to understand, I will tell her how each and every one of you supported her during this fragile stage of her life. All your names are known to me – even those who chose to be anonymous to the public – and I promise that Jenny will one day know each of your names too. To all followers whose names I will never get a chance to know, I thank you for continuing to read Jenny’s story and circulate it. You are a vital part of Jenny’s recovery and even though I am sad I’ll never be able to know your names, I thank you all for allowing Jenny into your lives. I thank you for allowing me into your lives. Snow has begun to fall here in Winnipeg so I send my warmest wishes wherever you are and hope for your safety wherever you go. Until then,
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As Day Thirty-Two ends, Jenny’s vitals today were all normal except slightly low blood pressure. Her antibiotic doses are complete and the infection from a few days ago is now gone. O.T. (Occupational Therapy) came by and put a splint on Jenny’s right arm for a few hours, then removed it a few hours later. They are still deciding if the splint is the right decision for Jenny’s condition, but for now a few hours on and off is their compromise. Amazingly, Jenny was the most talkative she has ever been. She is constantly counting. At first she was counting from 1-20, then kept pushing up. Her record was going from 1-89, but instead of 90 she said 20 then 21 and so forth. Today was also the first time I saw Jenny bite her cozy mitt and try to pull it off with her mouth. This was a very sad sight but the mitt needs to stay on due to her history of pulling her N.G. feeding tube. Lastly, she remembered the phrase “Bye bye.” and said that to me very frequently throughout the evening. Everytime she says that I ask if it means she wants me to leave and she nods her head. I then respond “Okay.” and continue to stay beside her for the rest of the evening anyway.
As Day Thirty-Three ends, Jenny’s vitals are normal except her blood pressure is still a bit low. The S.L.P. (Speech and Language Pathologists) came today to administer their second test to see if Jenny is able to eat and drink normally which would finally free her of the invasive N.G. feeding tube and the restrictive “cozy” mitt. Unfortunately, Jenny failed the test again but it was because she couldn’t stay awake during the test to complete it. However, she still did fail and due to that they are moving forward with the insertion of a peg directly into her stomach from the abdomen to get nutrition because one month of the invasive N.G. tube is very uncomfortable. The tube goes directly into her nose, down her throat, down the entire length of her esophagus and then directly into her stomach and whenever she pulls on it they have to reinsert it all over again. The schedule for the stomach peg is not happening today however because Jenny is still on blood thinners and it won’t happen tomorrow either which means there is a small chance that there will be a third S.L.P. test before she has to get her stomach cut open for the peg. I keep telling Jenny she has to be awake and pass the test when it happens and she nods and I hope she does truly remember this time. Lastly, everyday I visit Jenny I always ask the same question – “Do you remember me?” which she usually nods or says “Yes.” and then I follow up with “Do you remember my name?” which she always responds no.
Today, after asking
"Do you remember me?" she nodded as usual. I then asked
"Do you remember my name?" and as I was ready to hear the usual "No." I was about to sit down in hospital chair but to my surprise Jenny said
"Yes." and I was completely frozen midair as if I was squatting over a toilet. After a brief moment I squinted while angling my head and asked
"What is my name?". Jenny took a few seconds but then confidently said
"Your name is Steven."
After asking Jenny every single day without an answer and not even knowing if I would ever get an answer, for the very first time, Jenny remembered my name. Tears quickly filled my eyes and fell uncontrollably down my face. I hugged her and kissed her and thanked her over and over and over again. I have proof that key pieces of her memory are slowly but surely coming back and she has not given up. She is still trying to reconnect her mind every single day.
As Day Thirty-Four ends, Jenny’s vitals are finally back to normal across the board including her blood pressure. I was called early in the morning by [Redacted upon request], one the nurses regularly assigned to Jenny and she told me Jenny was about to be put in a wheelchair to get her out of bed for awhile. This would be the first time Jenny would be in a wheelchair and be able to move around. I immediately dropped everything and headed towards the hospital but when I got to the parkade it was so packed that it took me longer to find a parking spot than it took to actually drive there. After I found a spot I ran to the hospital and as I entered her wing I was hoping to see her being wheeled around down the halls but I did not see her. As I approached her room, I heard someone talking. I was so excited to see her in a wheelchair but when I did finally see her, she was sleeping in bed. I was told after a few minutes in the wheelchair she said she felt tired and wanted to lie down. I was a bit disappointed I didn’t get to see her and have a chance to push her around but I know it’ll happen again one day. I didn’t want to wake her up so I waited to see if she woke up naturally but she did not so I left and came back again in the evening. When I saw her again she was awake so I excitedly asked
“Do you remember me?” but to my surprise she responded
“No.” so I asked again to confirm
“Do you remember me?”
“No.”
I then took out some photos of us together and showed them to her hoping for a positive response,
“Do you remember who this is?”
“No.”
This was a shock since she remembered my name for the first time only yesterday but today she did not even recognize me at all. I then remembered being told that with T.B.I. (Traumatic Brain Injury) her memory will go in and out but I didn’t expect it like this.
As Day Thirty-Five ends, one of Jenny’s closest friends who was in British Colombia came back to Winnipeg today. They are the group of 6 friends who always gather when they all happen to be in Winnipeg at the same time and today was one of those rare days except this time the meeting place was Jenny’s hospital room. This group of 6 are the same people mentioned in the About Us page on her website. They all came in the morning and asked me if they had permission to cut her hair (which of course they do) since her hair has gotten quite long and gets tangled easily with knots. It was a great idea and will definitely help her be more comfortable so today Jenny got a haircut from all her friends.
Once the evening arrived she was much more restless than usual and was constantly trying to get out of bed. She does not have clearance to get out of bed yet so sadly I had to fight against her efforts. She would look at me desperately during her attempts and say
"I want to go home." and
"Please let me go home."
The only response I could think of was that it's not time yet and she still needs to get a little bit better. This is the first time she referenced "home" so I at least know she has a memory of what home is but I'll never forget the look on her face when she said this as it was a face I had never seen her make before. It was a mix of desperation, longing and sadness. Of course I want her to come home but she is not even close to making it yet. There are still so many trials and tests ahead. I know she will be strong enough to complete them when she gets the opportunity but it doesn't make the ordeal any easier. Sadly, her right eye and arm are still in very bad condition after all this time with her right eye completely unresponsive and her right arm still tightly locked in which continuously causes her pain.
As Day Thirty-Six ends, Jenny had her I.V. removed today so she’s only on her N.G. feeding tube now. She had her catheter removed and I know she’s very happy about this since the catheter caused a lot of itchiness and was the reason for a lot of issues the past few weeks. Instead of the catheter she is using something called a bedpan – it’s essentially it’s a toilet seat they slide under you when you feel the urge to go. The S.L.P. (Speech & Language Pathologists) team is scheduled to come in tomorrow, meaning Jenny will get one more chance to pass their test before she’s sent down to get a stomach peg inserted into her abdomen. I told her how important this test was to avoid the stomach peg and to do her best. Throughout the rest of evening Jenny was punching her left leg constantly over brief periods. I asked if she was doing this on her own but she said it’s automatic. Lastly, [Redacted upon request] from O.T. (Occupational Therapy) came in today again and showed me more techniques to help unlock Jenny’s muscles in her damaged arm. He is now leaning towards neurological damage as opposed to muscle damage for the issue. I asked if it meant there’s a chance of full recovery and he said he cannot determine that right now.
As Day Thirty-Seven ends, Jenny’s vitals have stayed normal across the board. The S.L.P. (Speech & Language Pathologists) team came in and administered their test one more time. Jenny barely but successfully passed the first level of their test and is now allowed to drink clear fluids such as water or juice with assistance. I am very happy to see she cleared the first step but due to how long it took for her to reach this stage it did not cancel the potential stomach peg operation as clear fluids alone is not enough calorie intake. The decision whether or not she needs the stomach peg will be made tomorrow by Doctor [Redacted upon request]. Jenny did not talk much this evening as she was quite tired but this allowed me to do many massages and exercises to help stretch and loosen her muscles. Lastly, when I first saw this ordinary paper attached to the hospital room door I felt the same overwhelming excitement as if it were a dazzling Certificate of Achievement award. This simple paper recognized and symbolized Jenny taking the very first step of her journey to eating normally again.
As Day Thirty-Eight ends, Jenny's vitals continue to be stable. The floor was understaffed today due to multiple sick calls so instead of the normal staff the C.R.N. Charge Nurse (the boss) was assigned to Jenny today. His name was [Redacted upon request] and it was my first time meeting one of the executive Nurses. I was quite intimidated at first since this is the authority figure that makes the decision whether or not to kick me out every night after official visiting hours are over. I always try to stay beside Jenny until after she sleeps so I am the last thing she sees every night, but I have been asked to leave before. With great relief, after I talked to [Redacted upon request] for the first time he said he has already seen me on the floor many times and that I am welcome to stay past visiting hours whenever he's working as I have shown I am not someone who will cause trouble. I am so thankful to hear this from at least one of the executive Nurses.
Today was another monumental milestone as today was the very first time Jenny ate food. It was only Jell-O but it was still food she ingested orally. In the same excitement to seeing that Certificate of Achievement award on her door yesterday, I was ecstatic to hear Jenny being able to eat food. Unfortunately, by the time I got there she had already ate so I will have to until wait tomorrow for my chance to feed her on my own. Lastly, Doctor [Redacted upon request] did not show up today for the decision about the stomach peg insertion but will be visiting tomorrow.
As Day Thirty-Nine ends, Doctor [Redacted upon request] came early in the morning and assessed Jenny for the stomach peg insertion. After review, it was determined that Jenny is not able to consume enough calories orally so they are moving forward with the stomach peg operation. By the time I came in today the operation was already finished and Jenny was resting but when she woke up she said she was in a lot of pain. I asked her if she wanted painkiller medicine right away and she said yes so I hit the call button to alert her assigned nurse. Sadly, the nurse did not come for approximately 20 minutes and those 20 minutes were the most dreadful in recent memory because shortly after I hit the call button Jenny would start audibly crying out in pain. Jenny and I go to the same Registered Massage Therapist and I was told Jenny is able to handle at least two and a half times more tension than I can so I know the pain Jenny was feeling would be incomprehensible to me and I could do nothing but witness her cry while waiting for the nurse to arrive. As I patiently waited I kept reminding myself that Jenny is just one of many thousands of patients in the hospital and I tried my best to keep that in mind but after just 5 minutes I was becoming extremely stressed out as to why no one was showing up. Jenny would keep pulling me close, look at me with tears in her eyes and say
"Please."
And there was nothing I could do but say
"The nurse is coming soon, just wait a little longer."
And she would lean back while looking so sad and defeated while immensely suffering.
After 10 minutes I went into the hallway and quickly walked room to room looking for her assigned nurse. Once I found them, they were with another patient and I asked if they could come to Jenny's room as soon as possible and they responded "Ok I'm going there next just wait" with a hint of annoyance and so all I could do then was go back to the Jenny's room and continue to wait.
What nearly pushed me over the edge of my wits was when the nurse finally arrived they actually went to the other patient in the room first. This patient was having no issues and while the nurse was doing the other patients routine checks Jenny was less than 2 meters away still audibly crying out in pain. I have no idea why the nurse went to the other patient in the room first but I could do nothing but sit there in growing frustration, anger and disbelief. I had to clench my jaws tight while trying to keep my blood pressure from spiking further and kept telling myself to be as calm as possible to stop myself from saying certain phrases that would get me in trouble. All I could do was hold onto Jenny and keep telling her the nurse is coming soon. I also had to keep reminding myself that I should consider myself lucky enough that Jenny is able to be in this hospital, in Canada, with our healthcare system in place but I really have no idea why the nurse went to the other patient first when Jenny was so visibly, audibly and noticeably in extreme pain.
Eventually, when the nurse came, they actually asked Jenny "Are you in pain?" and that was the single highest point where I felt the most hostility because for about five minutes this nurse could audibly hear Jenny crying out in pain literally less than 2 meters away. Then the nurse left the room one more time to get her pain medication. This took another three minutes. Finally they came back and gave Jenny the pain medication and eventually, Jenny fell asleep for the rest of the night. I had to thank this specific nurse for their help through clenched teeth.
This was the very first time I felt any ounce of anger, resentment or hostility towards someone on the hospital floor. I know I must always be thankful for what Jenny has access to in this hospital and the help she is able to receive. I need to be grateful for the healthcare system in place but because of what I witnessed today there is so much turmoil within myself. I am extremely upset because I know logically I need to be thankful for what Jenny has access to but my irrational, emotional side is overwhelmingly outraged because of how Jenny was treated today. Furthermore, because I acknowledge both sides of this logic and emotion I am able to see that I am 100% wrong to feel this animosity as in the end Jenny is still being helped but it just causes further frustration that I still feel this animosity in the first place then there is even more compounded frustration because I know my reaction is incorrect.
As Day Forty ends, Jenny’s vitals remained normal and she thankfully appears to be in a much better condition than yesterday. As the evening went on she was speaking a bit more than usual and I could see hints of Jenny’s personality pop up as I talked to her throughout the evening from her facial expressions and subtle nuances. A few phrases she repeated today were
“I want to watch a movie.”
which prompted an attempted conversation about what was the last movie we watched together (Barbie) and what movie theater was her favorite (Grant Park). She could not remember either but she kept saying she insisting on wanting to watch a movie. Another phrase she kept saying was
“You don’t want to help me.”
but she said this with a bit of a smile so all I could do was laugh. I know when she asks me to do something for her there are times I cannot because I do not have approval from the staff. She then started talking about a subject that I try to avoid since it involves the accident. She asked
“Why am I here? and I responded
“You were in a very bad accident.” and I remember her raising her eyebrows and her face becoming one of disbelief as she said
“Oh my goodness I was in an accident?”
I then asked her if she knew what date it was and she said she had no idea.
Throughout the evening I was happy to notice she has begun doing the hand exercises the O.T. (Occupational Therapy) team taught her. Her right arm is still in very bad condition and doesn’t move but I have seen her continue to try and stretch those fingers and move the arm with her other working arm. Her right eye still remains completely unresponsive and the ophthalmologist team have no scheduled date to see her next but I have put in a formal request for a follow up on it’s condition.
Lastly, yesterdays update Day Thirty-Nine was a severely difficult day for me and I wanted to leave this note of acknowledgement to those who commented or wrote a message to me. I read them all. Thank you.
As Day Forty-One ends, Jenny was talkative throughout the evening similar to yesterday. For the first time when I asked if Jenny could remember my name she said yes but stated the incorrect name. She said my name was "Suki". As I tried to convince her my name was not Suki she would not budge. I tried to help her remember by giving hints such as saying the letter S was correct but eventually she laughed and said
"Oh my, you really don't know your own name is Suki?"
and so, she insisted my name was Suki for the rest of the night.
Today was also the first time for something else - Jenny asked me if I could help her sit up. I was more than happy to oblige. I managed to assist her into a seated position with her legs over the side of the bed while I kept support on her back and neck but the process was quite a struggle. She then said she wanted to use the toilet on her own which she's never done before and I was not sure how proceed so I hit the call button to ask the nurse for advice. Instead of allowing her on the toilet they brought in what's called a "commode" which is a special made chair and portable toilet. At this point it's no longer something I could help with and I was asked to step back to allow the staff to perform the next part without me.
I was so happy when Jenny asked me to help her sit up for the first time but that happiness came to a jarring halt. As I watched the staff assist her I could witness in detail how much of a struggle it was for Jenny to simply move from the side of the bed to the commode that was only a few inches away. Once they got her on her feet she nearly crumpled to the ground as if there was zero power in her legs and they essentially had to drag her entire body to the chair. Her resolve is there but it starkly reminded me that Jenny still has a very long journey ahead of her.
As Day Forty-Two ends, I was told Jenny was quite restless throughout last night and only slept in small spurts. She often tries to climb out of bed but is not able to support herself at all so the overnight staff have to constantly watch her to avoid involuntary falls. I gathered a little more information about the excruciating pain Jenny felt over Day Thirty-Nine. On that day I remember Jenny saying it was specifically her back that was in severe pain. Due to the accident Jenny suffered many fractures along her spine and pelvic area which in conjunction with being bedridden for over a month may have been the primary cause.
Today, Jenny got to sit on a neurochair for the first time. The neurochair is a modern device that was specifically designed to help those who suffered neurological trauma to be able to sit normally. It assists people with conditions which range from those who cannot support themselves to those who suffer with involuntary movements and Jenny falls under both categories. I was not present when Jenny sat in this neurochair but I was told she got tired very quickly. The staff will try to get her to sit on the chair more often as time goes on as it is a preliminary step towards her journey into physiotherapy and rehabilitation.
As Day Forty-Three ends, Jenny's vitals are ok minus her blood pressure being quite a bit low which has been a reoccurring issue. I was told she cried overnight. She was saying something about pain and not wanting to celebrate her birthday. The staff didn't know how to stop her from crying until the nurse agreed that they wouldn't celebrate her birthday anymore and that alone stopped it. She has been tolerating her clear liquid diet and enjoys the Jell-O in particular but is still eating much less than expected so the direct stomach tube feed is still running in full force.
Lastly, when I arrived today I noticed Jenny's cozy mitt was taped on. This is extremely unusual because the cozy mitt has a built-in velcro to fasten itself. As I examined this further, whoever taped on this cozy mitt had taped directly onto Jenny's skin and even worse, did not use the available cloth tape but instead chose to use the extremely sticky clear tape. Furthermore, they somehow thought it was ok to tape over her recovering post-op sutures. And amazingly that's still not all, they had taped it so tightly that it also cut off proper circulation to her only working arm. This was extremely wrong on every level. Removing this tape caused Jenny an immense amount of pain because the tape was done overnight and it had melded into her skin from going unnoticed the entire day until I arrived. The assigned staff last night must have not known how to properly put on the cozy mitt and instead of asking how they instead picked out same random tape and taped it on. They chose the worst tape available and they even taped excessively tight over her recovering sutures. I am not angry, well I am but this anger pales in comparison to the animosity I felt from Day Thirty-Nine. I am mostly disappointed because I had to assist in removing the tape which put me in a position where I was involuntarily causing Jenny unnecessary pain from someone else's mistake.
As Day Forty-Four ends, I spoke to one of the senior executives of the entire Health Sciences Center. They said that one or more staff of the H.S.C. felt discomfort that their name was written on these updates and for privacy reasons I am prohibited to write the names of any Health Sciences Center staff. After some thought I quickly realized I have made a terrible mistake and my actions are 100% wrong. I was consciously writing only first names and thought it was acceptable but that only proves how immature I am in the grand scheme of life. I want to sincerely apologize to all staff from Health Sciences Center for invading your privacy and I hope for any ounce of forgiveness. I am 100% wrong in my actions and just knowing I was a reason for anxiety or discomfort for the very people that tirelessly work towards helping Jenny recover makes me feel like a criminal and I am beyond remorseful. This is the first time I have written in the public domain but that does not excuse my actions. As an adult I should have known better from the beginning and I feel ashamed for not being mindful enough. Once again I sincerely apologize to all staff of the Health Sciences Center for my lack of competence and though I have learned my lesson it does not come close to making amends. I will now refer to any hospital staff from their titles only.
Today, Jenny worked with the Physiotherapy team and they told me she is making notable progress and there was so much progress that they are going to visit again tomorrow to determine if she is ready to advance to the next step of rehabilitation.
Jenny was trying to remember her home address this evening. She mixed up her work address as her home address and insisted she lived where she worked. Throughout the rest of evening she kept trying to escape her hospital bed saying she needs to go back to work. I had to keep careful watch to prevent her from injuring herself while I assured her over and over again that her only job right now is to focus on recovery.
Lastly, the Speech & Language Pathologist team visited and after testing they promoted Jenny past the clear liquids only stage. They even advanced her above the thick liquids stage and instead upgraded Jenny to a “Standard Texture Diet” meaning Jenny can eat normal food under careful supervision. This means that tomorrow will be the first time I can have a meal together with Jenny since the accident.
As Day Forty-Five ends, I learned that even though Jenny is able to eat normally (under full supervision) she must still use the direct stomach feeding tube overnight as she cannot consume enough calories for maintenance. She has lost weight and they are using the tube feed to bring her back to a healthier level.
Jenny is talking a little more now and is able to hold basic conversations but is still mixing up many memories. Tonight she thought my name was Peter and once again when I told her that was not my name she laughed saying she cannot believe I don’t even know my own name. She also used the phrase “You’re dumb dumb.” multiple times which I found adorable.
I’d like to talk about a discovery I learned from Day Forty-One when Jenny insisted my name was “Suki” seemingly out of nowhere. I was informed that the term “Suki” is actually a well-known and frequently used term in the Filipino culture. If you work at a business or shop of any sort, “Suki” refers to a very loyal customer to your business. It’s a term for the partnership of a customer that consistently returns to buy more products or services from your business because they trust the quality or have built a relationship with you over time.
I believe somewhere in Jenny’s mind she was connecting me to a loyal customer of sorts. This meant that even though Jenny cannot consistently remember my name, she is aware that I am a frequent “customer”. The moment I was informed of this I felt the same sensation from all the way back to Day Twenty-Three when I had finally pieced together what Jenny was trying to say to me that week as she kept repeating “Make it ten”, “Make it nine” or “Make it seven”. Even though her memory cannot remember my name everyday, her memory does acknowledge seeing me everyday. I am not ashamed to say once I found out what “Suki” actually meant, tears began streaming down my face once more. This new knowledge gave further vindication for my endeavors in being there for her everyday.
Lastly, today was the first day I got to have a meal with Jenny since the accident as yesterday she was upgraded to a Standard Texture Diet from the Speech & Language Pathologist team. It has been over 1 ½ months since we last ate something together. Of course there was joy to be had but it came at a very heavy cost. Since Jenny does not have enough dexterity to control the utensils herself she can only eat under full supervision meaning I still have to feed her. But if I feed her that means during that time I am not able to eat myself. Jenny was constantly worrying about me not being able to eat and along with not enjoying that specific hospital dish she kept telling me to stop feeding her and to eat my own food instead. It was an unexpectedly difficult ordeal and Jenny seemed to not have a good time. In fact, she never smiled even once through the whole meal and was noticeably sullen. It was a bleak milestone because the moment I started feeding her it hit me that I was feeding her. None of this should be happening in the first place and I was quickly brought back to reality because I was harshly reminded how desperate and burdened this entire situation is. At one point she even pushed the tray away and said
“You eat first I don’t want you to feed me until you finish eating.”
But that is the farthest thing away from enjoying a meal together. I cannot eat while feeding her and she cannot eat if I am eating. This moment was just another eye-opening experience in how truly difficult ordinary things can be with recovery and how we often unknowingly take for granted what is considered routine in life. I was originally so happy to finally be able to have a meal with Jenny and yet, even with food in front of both of us, it feels as if enjoying a meal together is still so far away.
I apologize for the lack of updates this weekend. A lot has happened and it's been very busy. I am happy to be able to write about Jenny again.
As Day Forty-Six ends, Jenny is beginning to follow normal conversations a bit more. She continues to respond in broken thoughts but you are at least able to have short conversations. Her memory of certain events within the last decade are coming back with varied accuracy. Physiotherapy came in once more to assess Jenny. Doctor [Redacted] who heads the Physiotherapy team assigned to Jenny at Health Sciences Center also runs an entire department at Riverview Health Center and she has determined that Jenny is ready to begin rehabilitation. Doctor [Redacted] had one last room available at her rehabilitation unit and had already reserved it for Jenny some time prior. The moment Doctor [Redacted] gave the green light for transfer, everything picked up triple speed and it was a whirlwind of many moving parts operating at once. Jenny was immediately brought down for an X-Ray and they determined her arm fractures are healing properly which was the final pre-requisite before being transferred. The H.S.C. floor team coordinated a transport operation immediately and I was told to begin packing all her things. I felt lucky to have randomly brought an extra duffle bag today in addition to my backpack as Jenny's belongings in the room had accumulated quite a bit over her stay here.
As I began packing her belongings the news that Jenny was suddenly being transferred traveled the hospital wing. Over the next few hours many of the nurses and health care aides dropped by to say their goodbyes to the now sleeping Jenny and a few to me as well. Surprisingly, a couple of people from other floors visited as they were once assigned to her and they told me Jenny was one of their most adored patients in recent memory. I was present for all of her infamous escapades which earned Jenny her moniker "The Trouble-Maker". At last I could confirm it was a title bestowed to Jenny in an affectionate way. As more people from different floors and wings came to visit and say goodbye to Jenny that truly was not something I expected. After some thought, I surmised that it could be due to the fact that Jenny was a health care employee herself for many years. Even with her brain in a severely damaged state it had not forgotten the respect, the admiration and the comradery she shared over years with her fellow health care workers. Mixed with her naturally selfless and caring nature she must have tried her best to be as courteous as possible while being a patient. It truly meant a lot to see how many people visited her on such short notice after she was approved for the transfer.
I was told if the transport team did not arrive by 9:00pm they would delay until the next morning. Once I packed up all her things I anxiously waited as each minute went by. Once 9:01pm passed I actually felt a sense of relief as Jenny was already asleep and that's when the brain does all of it's repairing so I always try to avoid having her sleep disturbed in any way. I started unpacking my things but at 9:05pm I heard some unfamiliar noises outside her door and as I got up to check what it was, the door swung open and I saw her nurse and two people dressed in high-visibility vests with a stretcher. Jenny is still being transported tonight.
Today when I walked to H.S.C. I expected a routine day but in the span of just one evening, Jenny has officially left Health Sciences Center and is now taking a huge step forward on her journey to recovery as she has been accepted into the rehabilitation program at her new home, Riverview.
I am prohibited to write any names of those I've had the pleasure and honor of meeting during Jenny's time at Health Sciences Center but I kept note of 32 health care aides and 22 nurses that were ever assigned to Jenny. I hope that one day in the future when we come back to visit as normal civilians she will have a chance to thank each of you properly. I hope you will remember her then because I will always remember all of you.
Goodbye Health Sciences Center, thank you for everything.
As Day Forty-Seven ends, Jenny wraps up her first day at her new home in Riverview Health Center. She has been assigned her own room in the last part of a unit and this will remain her room until she is discharged. This will be the longest trek in her journey to recovery by an exponentially large margin but it is also the final step. Her main focus at rehab revolves around three different areas: Physiotherapy, Occupational Therapy and Speech & Language Pathology. No matter how long it takes, once Jenny shows she is ready both mentally and physically she will be able to resume her life and her work. Whatever changes occur before that day will only be known in time, but I will be there to keep track every step of the way.
As Jenny was brought late in the night, her first full day occurs on Friday, November 17 which means Jenny only had one day before the weekend. She only had time to meet and greet the entire collaborative rehab team but no actual therapy work was involved today. It will all begin the following Monday. A key difference at this facility is that the handful of people assigned to Jenny will be the same people assigned to her until the day she is discharged. They will be with her every step of the way on her journey to recovery.
Throughout her first day, Jenny noticeably did not enjoy her time here and kept on requesting to go home. Though I tried to reassure and explain over and over again the purpose as to why she was transferred and why she was here she would not budge and kept requesting to go home.
At least Jenny was able to do something she could not over the past 47 days and that is being able to have a full shower and not just a pseudo-shower. Since she cannot stand up on her own, let alone walk, she must use a special made wheelchair to shower. As her assigned health care aides attempted to help shower her they had an increasingly difficult time as Jenny ended up not wanting their assistance and eventually kicked them out and began trying to shower herself. She is not even close to being able to shower on her own yet and as I was waiting outside the shower area during all this commotion I knew when all options were exhausted it was my time to step up. And so, I told them I was fine doing this for her and I was given a full body cover and special slip-ons for my feet and off I went.
I will never be able to properly convey the experience in emotions I felt during this. Though I was more than happy to help, knowing Jenny was going to have her first full shower in over 47 days was the only happy moment I felt. I will not go into much detail because I don't think I could muster myself to but I can go through the beginning.
Imagine your loved one in life - the one you share everything with.
Now imagine them sitting in front of you.
But they are strapped into a wheelchair.
Their head is hunched to it's side.
They are staring silently towards the ground.
Their body is lifeless and leaning into the straps.
They are too weak to hold their own body up.
Their hair is damaged and frayed from weeks of minimal care.
Just a few weeks ago your loved one was in the prime of their life.
Now you have to wash their body for them because they cannot do so themselves anymore.
This was reality today and it's a painful memory I must cherish for the rest of my life.
Update for Day 48, 49, 50, 51 & 52
This first week of rehab has been very difficult for Jenny and I. I am definitely feeling the burnout and I am struggling quite badly. I have begun to stop caring about myself. I no longer eat properly. I no longer rest enough. My mental state is in tatters and it's effecting my daily interactions and honestly the feeling of "giving up" is at it's peak. I lack energy, sleep, sustenance and am using all of my remaining strength to stay motivated to be there for Jenny everyday while trying to simultaneously keep the other obligations of life in order. I am still here keeping track of Jenny's progress everyday so I have the information I need but her mind happens to be going through the aggressive and agitated phase of recovery so it's been draining as she unintentionally does or says things that are painful or she makes requests that are impossible to uphold but I have to do my best. Along with the ever accumulating list of demands, expectations, participation and due diligence that is being thrown at me from all aspects of my life the everyday pile of things I need do keeps increasing and I simply cannot catch up. I feel like I am being stretched in so many directions and have so many different responsibilities that I wish the day had 36 hours instead of 24 hours so I could begin to start having enough time to catch up on what I feel I need to do.
I've tried to compromise with these updates by writing for two days at a time because I am no longer capable in writing daily anymore but I've already failed at even that compromise after just one day because the last update was about her transfer on the night of Thursday the 16th and the first day at Riverview on Friday the 17th. I'm almost a week late in updates. But I will catch up. I will. If you're reading this now, it means I am still currently trying to progress on writing Day Forty-Eight and Forty-Nine but through it all I remind myself each day to be appreciative and to be thankful for everything here.
Continued Update for Day 48 to Day 78
Please refer to the third GoFundMe Update posted on December 20, 2023 in the next section. I originally had it posted here but once I reached the GoFundMe character limit on January 5, 2024 I ultimately had to delete the post from this section as it is still posted in the next.
Day Forty-Eight & Nine
It has been 31 days since I was last able to write an update about Jenny. The reason for the delay of these updates is described in my previous post. To catch up, I will be writing about two to three days worth of updates at a time in future hope of being able to write about Day One Hundred on Day One Hundred itself. There are so many of you watching and following Jenny’s recovery. I cannot wait for Jenny to one day truly understand the scope of just how many people around the world are supporting her.
She continues to push forward everyday.
As Day Forty-Eight & Nine ends, so does Jenny’s first weekend at Riverview Health Center. The three specialized focus areas for Jenny’s rehabilitation involve Physiotherapy, which focuses on restoring movement, mobility and function followed by Occupational Therapy which focuses on developing, recovering, improving and maintaining skills needed for daily living or work and lastly Speech & Language Pathology which monitors, evaluates and assists in improving speech, communication and eating habits which are often heavily impacted following any brain injuries or accidents. By fortune, with Jenny arriving on the night of Thursday, November 16th and Friday, November 17th being a simple meet and greet with the team members and staff, Jenny essentially had a long weekend to relax and get adjusted to her new home.
My first view of Riverview Health Center on the night of Jenny’s transfer
As she was being transferred in the ambulance, I was trailing behind her in my own vehicle. Jenny must have thought she was being brought home because one of her repeated questions over this weekend was
“Is this home?”
to which I would respond
“You are at Riverview for rehab.”
and she would ask
“Why?”
and I would respond
“You were in a very bad accident.”
which would shock her and she would say
“Oh my goodness I was in an accident?”
and this exact conversation occurred many more times through the weekend.
When I had a chance to meet the team members and staff who were going to be working with Jenny and my reception of them was extremely positive. They were all very professional, very friendly and you could tell by their demeanors they all understood the trials and tribulations of working with people who have suffered traumatic brain injuries. I had a sense I could learn a lot from them, even as just an advocate from the sidelines. They told me to start gathering some of Jenny’s gym clothes including sweat pants and runners.
It is a quiet, solemn feeling when you begin going through your loved ones belongings searching for this and that. As I try to gather articles of clothing I thought were suitable for Jenny’s rehabilitation activities I found myself talking to myself and asking “Would Jenny like to wear this? Or this?” and it hit me that I could not ask Jenny herself because she is not here and even if she were, she was not in a state where she could respond to those types of questions.
Jenny’s official room tag which she will reside in from now until the day she is discharged
When I arrived the following Sunday morning, I walked slowly and quietly into Jenny’s room. She was already awake, left eye opened, staring at the ceiling in silence but when she saw me and she nearly propped herself up and yelled
“I’m so happy to see you! I was waiting for you!”
Which set the tone for the rest of that Sunday. We began organizing her closet with all the clothes I brought and once we were done we leisurely watched television and explored every nook and cranny of the room.
As the day ended, Jenny is still extremely hesitant in accepting this place as her new home. We spent the rest of the day discussing random parts of her memory while enjoying the beautiful view of the city from her room.
Jenny enjoying the view of Downtown Winnipeg
As Day Fifty ends, Jenny officially finishes her first day of rehabilitation. There is no set schedule for each of her three main rehab activities due to the nature of the rehab center. There is always a constant flow of ingoing and outgoing patients, each with their own agenda and off-site appointments they cannot miss. Many patients need to book special wheelchair transportation so all rehab activity schedules are decided the morning of every single day to accommodate for all schedules. This means I have no idea when any of Jenny's appointments happen until that very morning.
The day started with Speech & Language Pathology. These are usually done one on one so I am thankful I have permission to sit in as an observer. Hearing Jenny talk to the S.L.P. therapist and try to answer even basic questions is extremely heart-wrenching because it showed me the current state of her mind that I would not have been aware of otherwise.
S.L.P. therapy began with basic questions. One of the very first questions was "Where do you think you are you right now?" and Jenny responded that she believes she is in Taiwan. She had previously worked there over 13 years ago, so the fact that she still thinks she's in Taiwan and not Canada is noteworthy. One of the next activities was identifying common items. Jenny was able to identify a horse, but she was not able to identify a fan. She was able to identify a basketball, but not the number 8. Her accuracy for matching words to pictures was under 30%. There were then some basic writing exercises where she was showed pictures and had to write what she thought was shown to her. Jenny is originally right-handed, but since her entire right arm is still severely damaged she had to attempt to write the answers with her non-dominant left hand.
After the fourth word, Jenny's mind became tired and she began scribbling answers quickly in order to get the activity over with. This set the base line for her S.L.P. journey.
Occupational Therapy was the next stop. For all of these first time activities, I felt like they were setting a base line for where Jenny would be starting at. The O.T. therapist spent the entire time checking to see Jenny's range of motion of her legs, arms, hands, joints and neck and that's it for today as it had begun causing Jenny a lot of pain.
Lastly, Physiotherapy focused on seeing how far she could control her limbs, specifically her right arm. The P.T. asked Jenny to squeeze her right hand and Jenny could not. She could barely move her fingers. She also did the hammer check reaction check on her left and right knee. The left leg responded normally, but the right one did not respond.
For the rest of the evening, Jenny was not happy. She does not understand why she is in rehab, and continues to request to go home. She remains restless for the rest of the evening until her sleeping pill kicks in and allows her to sleep. I am then able to leave for the night to get some rest myself.
As Day Fifty-One ends, the day begins with Speech and Language Pathology again. The activity today is "point to the blank" where Jenny is given a word and she is given a selection of 4 pictures and has to choose the correct one. The first word is "Pencil" and there are pictures of a dog, a building, a cup and a pencil. Jenny points to the cup and says that's the pencil. Jenny is then given a list of words, with some words being animals. She is told to point out which words are animals. She cannot point out a single one. However, she does understand that snow is white and that there are 7 days in a week.
For Occupational Therapy today, Jenny goes for a walk. She is only allowed to walk with a two-person assist, meaning two people have to walk alongside her as she begins to re-learn the balance of walking properly. Her right leg is a bit slower which causes her to lose balance and stumble often.
Physiotherapy told me that the shoes I brought Jenny are the wrong size. I must bring another pair tomorrow. Apparently Jenny is not a size 7 shoe, but a size 8. She appears to buy both sizes however, and I'm not quite sure why. For her physiotherapy activity today, Jenny is tested on a horizontal standing bike. She makes it to 1 minute and 30 seconds before saying she is tired.
Lastly, I feel like I am being pushed to my mental and physical limits today because Jenny is raising her voice and complaining to me because she wants to go to the washroom on her own but all the therapists state that she requires two person assistance for anything right now. She believes she can do it on her own and wants me to break protocol for her when we're alone and becomes angry at me when I say I cannot break the rules set out for her and when I am forced to call for assistance she feels betrayed and this unfound stress point will continue throughout the coming week.
As Day Fifty-Two ends, I learned a new concept from the S.L.P. therapist that helped me a lot in understanding Jenny and what to consider for myself moving forward. Jenny has post-traumatic amnesia and will often be disoriented or confused. Jenny might be able to remember Point A and Point B but the path to get from one point to the other may have another memory inserted in. Even though it never happened in real life, to Jenny, it did happen within in her mind and memory.
It finally made sense to me because Jenny would often say memories that do not or cannot link up together but insists they happened. One example is that she remembers she worked in Taiwan but when told she is currently in Canada she would say she drove to Canada on a roadtrip. We had taken a roadtrip together many years back but that was across Canada towards Banff, Alberta. Jenny inserted that road trip memory to an even older memory, and made the claim that she drove across the ocean from Taiwan to Canada which is impossible, but in her mind, it is real.
At Occupational Therapy today, we discovered that even though Jenny cannot open her right eyelid, she can still see through the eye itself. This is absolutely monumental because it means the actual optic nerve was not severed. She can see out her eye but she cannot control the eyelid. However, her right eye is very off-centered and leans heavily towards the right. She cannot control it back to center. We tested the vision in her right eye by blocking her left eye and had her manually open the right eyelid with her left hand. She can see clearly from it, including numbers, colors and shapes.
At Physiotherapy, they continue to test her right arm and it’s current condition. Her right hand cannot make a fist and she cannot rotate her arm palm upwards or palm downwards. She cannot move her arm right and left with her elbow being anchored. She cannot raise her hand past her shoulder. She cannot straighten her right arm at all. If she moves just a little bit further from her current limit, it causes her immense pain. I myself cannot push Jenny to this pain, but the Physiotherapists can. She must go through this pain to recover, or else she will lose her arm function.
As Day Fifty-Three ends, Jenny still is not accepting of Riverview as her new home. She struggled once again with Speech and Language Pathology today. She was not able to match even 50% of the shown words to their pictures and she was not able to follow simple instructions given for basic activities. It was quite a struggle today and after the session she began saying things like
“Why am I here?”
“Why am I like this?”
Which breaks my heart. Jenny was very obviously having a rough start to the day.
Jenny, after having a rough time at S.L.P, is not looking forward to her next appointment
At Occupational Therapy & Physiotherapy today, they both continue to push Jenny’s body forward. The pain during the exercises causes her immense pain, but it’s their job and I admire them for it.
However, the pain of her exercises do not compare to the pain Jenny experiences in the night when her body starts recovering. It’s always at the same time frame every night, between 6:15pm and 7:00pm Jenny begins sobbing and crying due to the pain of her body recovering. I know she has an extremely high pain tolerance as we both go to the same Registered Massage Therapist. For those who cannot recall from one of my previous posts, the last time I asked our R.M.T. the difference in pain thresholds between us they rated my pain threshold at a meek 2.5/10 whereas Jenny is an 8/10. Jenny has over three times the pain threshold as I do so I know my mind cannot begin to imagine the pain she experiences every single night. I cannot leave her side as she is crying in pain but the pain also keeps her up late into the night which means I’m kept up late into the night as well. This means that because I cannot leave her side during these moments, I myself also cannot find much time to rest. All of this occurs in succession as a terrible series of events because following the accident and the aftermath of due diligence my life responsibilities quickly begin to snowball out of control. Though I brazenly push forward now, little did I know this continued lack of sleep every night would eventually burn me out of my own life.
But that is for the future Steven to find out.
For today, Jenny was having a very rough time so I offered her something she never expected. After all her therapy sessions were done for the day I asked Jenny if she wanted to visit the chapel at Riverview. I had only found out they had a chapel today and it truly came at a great time of need. Jenny said yes so I pushed her wheelchair to the chapel located on the far opposite end of the complex. She asked to be left alone for a few minutes and I obliged but managed to take one picture of her before I left.
Jenny spends a moment with herself at the chapel located on-site at Riverview
As Day Fifty-Four ends, it was one of the inevitable days where I had to start realizing what position I was in and put all my effort into setting aside my emotions in order to continue proceeding with the due diligence of being an adult following an accident of this magnitude. I spent the day filling out more documents involving Manitoba Public Insurance, Service Canada and Bank/Credit Unions while trying to get the signatures of different physicians and professionals for submission to those institutions. I was all over the city all day long and I did not see Jenny until the evening.
When I did finally arrive, I was so extremely exhausted. I was only running on water as I had not yet eaten a single thing over the entire day as there was no time for me to eat. I did not have food with me and Jenny already had dinner by that time so I was planning to buy something at the cafeteria on-site but I wanted to see Jenny first before I went because Jenny was all I had to look forward to that day. When I did finally walk into her room I saw her looking at the ground and when she noticed me she only glanced at me for a second then looked back towards the ground.
“Why did it take you so long to come here today?”
I had to explain to her I was all over the city doing so many different things. Jenny sort of shrugged it off and continued to be sad. This sadness persisted through the entire evening as I tried to explain to her that it is absolutely necessary all this paperwork needs to be done and of all the people in the world there is only one person that has legal authority to fill out and submit all this paperwork on her behalf and that person was me. Jenny still continued to have a negative attitude anyway simply because I was not able to be with her the entire day.
It is clear that the current Jenny cannot recognize the sacrifices I am making with my time, my body, my mind and my spirit. Instead of being a boon of happiness when I get to see her she instead is making my days dreadful by being bitter whenever I arrive because I cannot constantly spend the entire day with her right now. If I’m doing things on her behalf that require me to move throughout the city I cannot possibly be physically beside her at the rehab center. She does not understand this concept and I am now being guilted for not being there for her. I just have to take it and suffer while blindly pushing myself to continue doing the right thing. As I feel beaten, trapped, unappreciated, thinned out and exhausted I have no choice but to keep going anyway. I keep telling myself no matter how much I am suffering, Jenny is the one who is suffering more and I know she is because every single evening I spend with her at nearly the same time like clockwork she cries in excruciating pain as her body and bones repair itself. I feel helpless while also feeling defeated. Compounded with my accumulating lack of sleep and accumulating lack of food intake I begin to feel the start of a spiraling descent into the looming dread and true exhaustion.
As Day Fifty-Five begins, Jenny’s second weekend at Riverview begins. I received a phone call from Riverview Health Center early in the morning and thought it was a routine call or an update from one of the nurses. To a surprise which shocked me to my core, after I picked up and said
“Hi Riverview.”
I heard an unfamiliar voice say something in the most familiar way possible.
“…honey?”
It was my very first time hearing that particular voice from a phone call since all the way back from September 30th – the day before the accident. To me, time stood still for that brief moment and I went through a rush of countless emotions all at once. Hearing her voice over the phone is such an ordinary concept but after all this time it had so much significance that it is indescribable.
Jenny called me from the Riverview landline and to do this she must have rolled her wheelchair to the front desk and specifically requested to call me with approval and assist from all the staff. I do not remember what I initially responded with nor how long the conversation was but I know it wasn’t long because I do remember saying something along the lines of
“I’m so, so happy to hear your voice like this over the phone but don’t take too much of the nurses and staff time! They need to do their work! I’ll see you later!”
In hindsight, I wish I could sometimes be a bit more selfish and consciously choose to extend significant, grateful moments whenever they occur but my personality and character do not let me act in that manner. I wonder how much happiness I could have provided Jenny by staying on the line just a little bit longer.
When I arrived today she began crying and said she missed me a lot.
My view every time I walk into Jenny’s room
As Day Fifty-Six ends, today marks the end of Jenny’s second weekend at Riverview. She has no therapy activities today so instead I took her on a grand wheelchair tour through every (allowed) corner of the complex and ended at the Solarium – a large circular shaped room built in a way where the sun can shine through.
Jenny enjoying the sun in the “Solarium” at Riverview
For the rest of the evening we had a calm, uneventful day watching shows I knew Jenny had already watched at least once but had no current memory of in the hopes it would help jog her memory back.
As Day Fifty-Seven ends, the Riverview team have decided to finally remove Jenny’s pick line from her left arm that’s been there since the night of the accident back on October 1, 2023. In a symbolic way of showing just how little I understand of the many things happening around me, it is only on this very last day of Jenny’s pick line that I learned “pick” line is an abbreviation. Everyone has been saying “P.I.C.C.” line which stands for “Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter” line.
As my final homage to the now correctly acknowledged P.I.C.C. line and for those like me who are just now only learning what it really stood for, a P.I.C.C. line is used for giving medication such as antibiotics, blood transfusions and/or I.V. fluids directly into your veins but can also be used in reverse and quickly take blood samples. I also learned a P.I.C.C. line is not just some small needle that is inserted into your vein but it is an extremely long, super thin needle that not only goes inside your vein but it follows the entire vein all the way directly into your heart.
Jenny’s left arm on October 12, 2023 showing her P.I.C.C. line
Jenny’s left arm on November 27, 2023 the day her P.I.C.C. line was removed
As for Jenny’s activities today, she was brought into S.L.P. (Speech & Language Pathology) and participated in the usual questionnaires but today she was given a new and more difficult activity called “Cancellation” where she would get a sheet filled with symbols and would have to identify then cross out all copies of a certain symbol within the pattern. I believe that this specific activity would be quite difficult for anyone, even without a traumatic brain injury.
Jenny working on a new activity for S.L.P. therapy
During Jenny's first week of rehab I made sure to clear out my schedule as much as possible so I could be there and support her every step of the way but as today begins Jenny's second week of rehab I could no longer be present for all activities. I had to leave before her scheduled Occupational Therapy or Physiotherapy. I continue to visit Jenny every day but more often than not I can only arrive in the evening after all her therapies are complete.
As Day Fifty-Eight ends, a vital and monumental turning point occurs on the road to Jenny's recovery. It is known that Jenny does not have any family members in Canada but that is not 100% completely true. She does have one secret family member and today they were approved to visit her at Riverview. I'd like to introduce Jenny's one and only family member here in Canada.
Please say hello to Tofu, our orange tabby cat.
With special permission granted to us, Jenny now has this important additional in-person support which will most definitely help her morale and even help the return of her memory.
Today is New Years Eve 2023 and this is the end of today’s update. It was very short but very sweet as todays update marks the day our cat Tofu was granted permission to visit Riverview and be with Jenny under my supervision. There are quite a few things I need to go and prepare for in saying goodbye to this unforgettable, life-changing and definitively the most challenging year in our lives.
Jenny and I graciously wish you all a warm, safe and memorable passage into Year 2024.
As Day Fifty-Nine ends, I learned some key information from the Speech & Language Pathologist in how to talk with Jenny as her brain is recovering. Jenny still says a lot of incorrect information, believing in her mind that Event X and Event Y happened even though it isn’t possible or they’re not related. Instead of correcting her, I should redirect and support her to arrive to the proper answer herself but if she cannot I should just openly say what the answer is after a few attempts. It is definitely a different approach than what is traditionally taught (to let someone solve it on their own until they arrive at the correct answer).
At Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy, Jenny played a special form of basketball. Starting with her left hand, she would try to throw the balls into a basket about 3 meters away. This is supposed to help control her left arm dexterity but also gauge her depth perception because she can still only use her one eye. With her left hand she did extremely well getting the majority of basketballs in the basket. We then tried using her right arm… but Jenny could not even throw the ball ½ meter away. She could only hold the ball and drop it due to her right arm’s condition. However, even being able to hold the ball is a monumental step and everyone was really proud of her.
Jenny playing special basketball while I was cheering for her. As a special note, I normally don't take pictures with myself included but Jenny wanted one of us together and this is the only picture I have of the activity
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We have finally reached the character limit of the GoFundMe page.
There is no longer any space to continue writing Jenny's updates.
For chronological continuation, please visit her web page at
Finally, my parting note as the writer of all these updates:
There are a lot of ongoing atrocities and tragedies happening across the world right now and they seem to keep growing at an alarming pace so in the grand scope of things, Jenny and I are but miniscule grains of sand floating in the ocean. And yet you, the most dedicated readers and listeners, are still here.
In the beginning I was writing updates as a way to cope with this entire situation and to help the remaining parts of my sanity stay intact but as the project grew I soon felt the pressure to write not from my own accord but to appease the expectations I feel the people wanted. This ended up adding to the strain instead of helping cope with it.
I know now that I can take my time with these updates but when I had continued to push myself to write instead of writing to keep myself sane I felt hollow, dread,
and helpless. I completely burned out more than once. I have crumbled, I have given up and I have stopped writing. One of the only reasons I was able to muster myself to regain my footing was because I knew there were people like you out there reading, following and supporting Jenny. It is not a perfected technique as I still sway from time to time but each time I overcome this feeling it gets a little easier the next.
Though this is an arbitrary milestone, after the accident I consider all milestones involving Jenny as important as any other and reaching the character limit of the GoFundMe page is a very memorable one.
I will continue writing on her website but it is a touching and bittersweet moment to write my final update on this GoFundMe page. I have truly cherished this opportunity.
When will the updates end? I do not know but I believe I will stop writing when Jenny recovers as much as she physically can, is discharged from the rehab center and there is no more notable progress to update on. From that point, I will focus on Jenny's maintenance in life and find a way to properly thank all the donors who have supported her.
Many people have asked details about me since this all began and due to my non-existent presence on social media, as part of my sign off I would like to take this opportunity to answer a few questions often asked to me:
I am not a professional writer and this is the very first time I have written anything in the public sphere.
I am not on any social medias due to personal reasons such as insecurity and mental health.
I work at a restaurant at The Forks in Winnipeg and in the summer time I am a licensed Boat Captain who drives passengers along the rivers in my city while giving guided tours. I am not a professional anything - I am just your normal person in the work force.
For my future I wish to pursue residential estate sales as a real estate broker and focus on exclusively helping first time home buyers find their homes. I do not know when I can begin pursuing this dream anymore.
I am never completely aware of how far Jenny's story has reached - all the news and updates I get are from people who message me about it from time to time. I just keep my nose down and continue writing.
Lastly, I did not like to write about myself because this is Jenny's journey to recovery, not mine. I have sometimes embarrassingly and irrationally vented out about my own issues but ultimately I am only here as a witness on the sidelines. All I do is observe, record and write about the strength, the willpower and the tenacity Jenny shows through her recovery so that when that day finally comes... Jenny will be able to look back and see how remarkably far of a journey she took. I am truly honored that this project sparked the interest of so many people around world.
Thank you once more for staying alongside me this entire unbelievable journey. I so truly wish I could properly say thank you to each one of you - I do have each supporters names recorded, including the anonymous ones (known only to me) and I hope one day in the future I can reach out to you all. To the rest of you who have been supporting Jenny by reading, following, and spreading her story I feel dispirited because I will never know your names so please accept my highest and most sincere thank you right now for reading, listening and following the words I have written since Day One.
Signing off here for the final time,
Yours,
Steven
Organizer and beneficiary
Laarni Magboo
Organizer
Winnipeg, MB
Steven Duong
Beneficiary