Help us lay my mama to rest

Tamie was the most unique being this world has ever encountered. She loved to live and have fun despite the many illnesses she had her entire life. She always made sure to keep moving and she never took life for granted. My mother was the light this world needed, and she always made sure to light up my day with her jokes and silliness. This lady was so silly she could make anyone laugh. She was so courageous, determined and strong. She had endured alot through her short life. She had to overcome alot of medical issues during her time here. Recently things took a turn for the worse she had a blood infection, spinal stenosis, clogged arteries, her heart valve hardened, arteries were clogged, and blood clots throughout her body. Her body was shutting down on her and she was so scared. She went to lenox hill hospital on Tuesday March 1st. She was then discharged March 2nd because they couldnt really find anything causing her health issues. She came home went to an outpatient Appointment and she was ordered to go back to the hospital, by the very doctor who sent her home. My mom couldnt resist to finish her bingo game Wednesday March 9th. I said "Mommy you have to go ma, they are ordering you to go back to the hospital" she replied "I know but I am going to be there for a while so I just want to finish this game". My mother loved bingo and wouldnt stop it for nothing. So she comes home around 11pm and we say our goodbyes and she cried to me and told me "Shavaughn I am so scared" I said "Ma dont be scared its going to be ok, just fight and stay strong ma, you are the strongest person I know" we hugged and cried some more. We were both scared. She gets to the hospital wednesday morning 12am. So Wednesday the entire day she complained of shortness of breath, the doctors told her her lungs are clear, thursday she complained of shortness of breath, the doctors told her her lungs are clear, so i told my mother "Mom i keep calling them why arent they calling me back?? Put them on the phone now" the nurse would say a doctor isnt available. Friday comes by and my mother is completely losing it. She said "Shavaughn get here now" i rushed to the hospital with my baby and bf. We get to her room and she is not herself, she is on the side of the bed crying and complaining she can not breathe. We call the nurses and they check her lungs again and say the same thing "Tamarra you can breathe, your lungs are clear" at this point my mother is saying "God please dont take me now, i am not ready, please not right now" then a male nurse comes and gives us a sticky note that read "Go up to the desk and complain you need to speak to a doctor immediately" thats what we do. Now everyone comes rushing in and its all hands on deck. They realize its not her lungs, its her heart not pumping as it should. Chris begins asking the doctor questions and shes blowinh him off telling him "Listen I cant talk to you right now i need to tend to my patient" but all this time no one tended to my mother, For 3 full days, her heart was not pumping as it should and had not done her dialysis as well because of her pressure. Now the doctor takes me out the room and tells me your mom is in shock and to prepare because she will pass. I lost it and everything went numb. I went in the room with chris and Amarra and we say our goodbyes. Amarra touched her grandmothers face while my mother said "Budah" which was her nickname for her. My mother could barely breathe at this point. I start to tell my mother in her ear "Ma this is going to be the hardest fight you have ever had to endure" as i know she will be ventilated " she said i know" I said my I love yous and i let her know she is so strong she can get through this. We all cried... the put her on the vent March 12th around 12AM. First her organs started to shut down, then her right and left heart began to stop blood flow. They discovered the clots everywhere and her valve being hardened. They told me she wouldnt make it she is too sick. But she did. Her numbers started to look up, her labs and test results were getting so much better and despite her being close to death she made it while on the vent. Monday March 14th they took her off sedation, she didnt need blood pressure medication or sedation medication because they said she was getting so much better. My mother never came down from sedation until the day before she passed away, march 21st. It took her so long to come down because all her organs were not working as they should especially her liver and kidney which should have flushed the sedation out. Jazmin goes to the hospital March 21st and we are on facetime and i said "I love you mom" to my surprise she said "I love you too shavaughn" i could not believe my mother was talking again. I was so happy, me and jazmin were happy. She facetimed Amarra and cried when she saw her grandbaby. I was so happy things were looking up. It was the best feeling to know my mom overcame all these obstacles despite her odds. On March 22nd in the morning i get a phone call from a doctor telling me lastnight my mother became irresponsive, but they gave her medication to help her. He told me that right now my mother has no pulse and they have been doing chest compressions for 4 mins. I said "please please please doctor whisper in my mothers ear Shavaughn, Jazmin and Amarra please" "please dont stop the chest compressions" Me and jazmin are on 3 way both begging him. He said i will try. He said "we will need to put her back on the vent" i said "Omg no she will not make it, it will be too much for her please no" he said "we have a pulse but if we lose it, we will not be able to get another one" then he told me "they did it already" i said "no!!! was there nothing else you could do to help her to breathe??" He replied "No" by this time i have amarra in my hands and i scream out so loud Amarra shook and started crying, i was losing my mother and i had a baby in my hands. Me and jazmin immediately get ready to go to the hospital. Before I could leave rockaway, i get a call and he says to me "I am sorry to have to inform you but your mom has passed away" I was done! I was done! I was angry and sad and so messed up. Me and jazmin pulled over and cried. Afterwards we sped to the hospital and met up with my father. As we walk into her room I see there is no machines going, just her laying there with Amarras onesie, a cross and amarras blanket. I let out a scream and I throw up nothing but bile. I could not believe what was happening, "is this really real?" I put my head to her chest and I hear nothing, it just broke my heart. I just lost my mother, my soul mate, my person, my entire purpose of living, she was my whole heart, she gave me life and she loved me so much. She did everything for me. My mother completed my life. My mother deserved to live. She fought through the shock, through being ventilated, through coming out of sedation. She was always a fighter. The doctors said once they put the tube in her, her heart gave out. I told him "I knew it would thats why i asked to not put it in!!" I was so angry. She just became a grandmother. Me and her settled that even though we dont have many people in our lives, we have eachother and it is ok because this is how God wanted it. My mother was all about fun, and laughs. She could never not crack a joke in a day. She did silly dances and i would just shake my head like "you are crazy" she was so smart, and strong. I went to her for everything. She gave such great advice. She never showed that her body was weak, she just kept moving, and she asked God to continue to give her strength to keep moving. My mother thought little of her self, like she wasnt worth anything because she was sick. I always reassured her of her worth. My mom was too great for this world. She was too compassionate and too forgiving. But i admired her for that. I began to notice she would attract people to her, like random people would just want to go up to her and talk to her or start random conversations. She said "idk why that happens" i would say "idk why either but i think it has something to do with your aura or something, people love to talk to you"

Please help us lay my lady to rest the proper way. I know the amount is alot, and it is probably far fetched but I need her to have a proper burial. I need her to know she is special and loved. She deserved the world, and I wanted to give it to her. I spoiled her as much as I could and she appreciated every bit of it. Please donate whatever you can, I am begging you. I want to have somewhere I can talk to her and visit. I know my mother would be overwhelmed by all the love and donations. She has always been appreciative of anything given to her. Please Please help us lay her the proper way. She has had a very hard life, and she is no longer in pain. But she is greatly missed. My heart is completely broken and I am not sure how long it will take to fix it. I will always do what I have to do to make my mother happy and this will make her light up in heaven again.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to read her story. I love and appreciate you all. And I pray people come to show their love and support at her funeral as well, i know she would love that.

Thank you.

- Shavaughn