Jill Needs Your Help to Survive Winter

As I write this, I am sitting in the dark in an unfamiliar neighborhood, in my 2007 Mitsubishi Outlander, pushing 250k miles. Truth be told, Mitzi, as I so fondly nicknamed her when she be became much more than simply a means of getting around, has been a real trooper. For several years, she has been the crux of my financial support as I transitioned from my 20+ year career as a Social Worker to that of Gig Worker, employed by a handful of food/grocery delivery platforms. Last month, she finally broke down following an Uber Eats delivery in West Valley City, UT, after continuing to start for 6 weeks with the not so gentle persuasion of the well known "hammer tap." Thanks to the help from a handful of generous SLC subredditors, she was back in action 48 hours later, donning a shiny new Duralast Starter. I had once again defied fate. Or so I thought.

Last night, after dropping off a Panda order to a family in Murray, UT, Mitzi refused to start. After an hour of you tube videos and some deduction, I am certain I need BOTH a new battery and an alternator. I have been stuck here in front of the "drop off" house, unable to move. Unable to do a thing to help myself. I am once again desperate for help and do not know what to do. This feeling of helplessness has become all too familiar to me and I fear my psyche simply cant handle another situation where my survival depends on a kind stranger reaching out with help.

Five months ago to the day, after the rapid depletion of my $5k safety net (the result of a forced move out of my residence of 8 years to a nearly identical unit in the same property whose "market value" was suddenly $500 more a month than the one I moved out of), Mitzi transitioned from "just a car" to my livelihood. She was no longer just my means of transport, but my shelter; my protection from the upcoming Utah Winter that each year claimed multiple lives. After 7 months of covering the "market value" of my new residence by scrimping and working 50-60 hour work weeks, I simply ran out of funds. The agency where one time County emergency housing assistance funds were funneled through was apparently also out of funds and after 35 years of successful adulting, the Sheriff came knocking on my door, notifying me that I had an hour to get myself and all the belongings I had amassed over my 52 years out of Unit UW-32. It would be my first, and hopefully, my last eviction and certainly not a memory I hold dear.

I cannot begin to list all that I have lost in the 150 days since. Material possessions such as the beautiful Pottery Barn dining table gifted to my husband and I on our wedding day or the King sized bed that each night supported my husband's "crappy back syndrome" and my knees ravaged by Osgood-Schlatter are replaceable. The 34 lbs I have lost and the obvious wear and tear on my body and soul, clearly evident by the 2 attached photos taken today and approximately one year ago, can potentially be remedied should I be afforded the opportunity. There is even the possibility that my 12 year marriage, a union that was stronger than most at the onset of this nightmare, but which crumbled to pieces last month, can be patched back together with time and healing. What is not replaceable, however, is my life. And even though I have lived a full 52 years on this earth, I believe strongly that my purpose here has not been fulfilled. I simply have too much love in my heart and compassion in my soul to accept that this is my "final hurrah.". However, as I face what I read are going to be the coldest temperatures in a couple of years here in Utah, I can honestly say that I fear for my life.

After 5 months of digging deep, utilizing every tool of resilient survival in my proverbial toolbox; after putting out constant fires, several of which have been doused with the help of a handful of strangers; after a couple close encounters with death, including a ruptured ulcer leading to peritonitis and sepsis; after a half dozen encounters with various police officers who seem to have a personal vendetta against us "urban camping" scum (what a romanticized description of what can only be described as sheer hell), it is time that I "Go Big or Go (eternally) Home." Since having every door of help slammed in my face during the first month out here, my pride has simply refused to ask for real help. I was determined to get rehoused on my own and was willing to die trying. I have put forth 200% every day and while I have stayed alive, my survival has required 99.9% of my efforts. There simply is not anything left to go towards re-housing efforts. My body is tired. My mind so overstressed that problem solving is becoming more and more difficult. Sometimes "it takes a village." Will you become a member of my proverbial village?

My journey is far beyond calling 211; or my local shelter on overflow; or my bishop. I do not have family members who can assist me. I have written every Homeless Board and Committee in Utah; have advocated hard for myself; have composed multiple letters to the Editor; and have contacted my Governor. During the eight years I lived in my small but comfortable home, nearly every person who visited me commented on how safe and accepted they felt at my place. I was so proud of the space I had created and the loss of it is profound. During this time, over a dozen friends and friends of friends experiencing short term crises spent days, weeks, and even months on my couch, free of charge. This period allowed for these individuals near and dear to me to get back on their feet, without judgement. My parents taught me the value of unconditional love and along with healthy boundaries and personal responsibility, it has been important for me to model this to those I care about. I can only hope and pray that such care and compassion will be returned to me to during this time that I do desperately need it.

I thank you for taking the time to read this and if you are in a position to offer help in any way, I would be so appreciative.

The police have already been called out twice to my vehicle, apparently contacted by nearby residents who are bothered by the unknown vehicle parked near their home. This despite the fact that my car is parked legally on the curb, is not blocking any driveways, and once I knew my car was not operable, I immediately spoke with residents of the 4 nearby homes and explained my situation, sharing that I was short on funds and desperately trying to find someone who could tow my car. I fear if they are called out again, I will lose not just the last remaining possessions I have but my home--while my toes and limbs are frozen, without the shelter my vehicle is providing, I will simply not survive the elements.

My immediate needs are as follows:

**Tow to a friends apartment complex in West Valley City, Utah

**Alternator for 2007 Mitsubishi Outlander

**Battery for 2007 Mitsubishi Outlander

**Deposit for rehousing

**First months rent for rehousing

Love, Jill