John's end-of-life care

Thank you all for your generosity and support. What a wonderful outpouring of kindness for John and Anthony. We are happy to say that we can turn off the donations at this point. We will reach out again if needs arise.

Please join our informal celebration of life, hosted by John's lifelong friends, on Saturday, April 29, from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. The event will be at the Palmer Creek Lodge, 606 4th Street in Dayton.

Our beloved friend John Whitehead died on March 29 at his childhood home in Dayton. He was 55 years old.

John graduated from Dayton High School in 1985. He went on to earn a doctorate in psychology and maintained a longstanding private practice in Seattle until the spring of 2021 when his brother Robert was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Because the Covid pandemic had normalized virtual patient care, John and Anthony, his husband and partner of 20 years, packed up their Seattle life and moved to Dayton.

While John saw patients over video calls from a home office, he and Anthony juggled career responsibilities with the full-time caregiving of John's mother, Ellen. They could have moved her to Seattle but opted instead to uproot their own lives so Ellen could stay in the familiar surroundings of home.

Because caregiving can impact the caregiver's health, when John experienced pain and other symptoms they were easily disguised as chronic but manageable issues, and he diligently followed a self-care plan in the hopes of getting better. In March, when his symptoms worsened, a trip to the emergency room identified advanced cancer.

They had very little time as a family to process the sudden news that John's condition was terminal, but Anthony made sure he could spend his final days at home. He faced this like the John we all know and love: by being intensely private, fiercely independent, unfailingly kind, dignified, and surrounded by love.

John was one in a million. Many of us are holding his memory in our hearts, and the shock and sadness of his loss feel so heavy. He was an old soul, brilliant, compassionate, talented, and driven. He devoted his career to caring for people with Autism and other special needs. Without knowing they would be his last, he gave his last two years to the care of his mother while her vision loss and memory loss continued to advance and her care needs became greater and greater. He was a loyal partner, son, friend, and doctor. What a gift he was to so many lives.

This fundraiser helped cover medical bills and multiple other expenses related to John's care. Thank you again for your generosity.