Join Lisa's Mission to Unite Family & Care For Her Dying Mom

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Lisa. I want to take you back 5 years, to 2019. I had a booming architectural photography business and wanted nothing more than to give back to my parents for all the years they'd supported me despite their own challenges. I planned a Caribbean cruise for them. My dad was so excited to go. And mom, though apprehensive, was on board as soon as she heard we'd swim with dolphins. We embarked on our cruise, enjoyed 3 days of Caribbean beauty, and on the 4th day, my dad had a heart attack while snorkeling and drowned. It was devastating, life-altering. It was like time stopped. We were forced to reboard the ship and took an emergency flight back to Cincinnati from the Dominican Republic the following morning.

The next months were a whirlwind of grief, shock, and confusion. In those months after my dad's passing, I began to notice my mom was struggling considerably. I thought she maybe had complicated grief due to the traumatic nature of my dad's passing. I pushed her to get help. I asked her to see a therapist. She wanted no part and insisted she was fine, but as time went on, more and more issues popped up. She started to lose words, stopped taking her medications for ongoing health problems, and wrote out thousands of dollars worth of checks to mail-in charities. At a point, we had to take over her finances, and at about the year mark, I had to accept that this was something more than grief. After fighting with her primary care doctor for a referral to neurology, I finally switched her doctor to my own, and we were immediately referred to River Hills Neurology, where my mom in 2021 was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

During these years, I had minimal emotional support. When my dad died, I had been in a manipulative and abusive relationship with someone who treated me very poorly in the wake of my dad's passing. I found the courage to leave that situation months later. I begged my family for 3 years in a row to get together for Christmas, expressed my loneliness, but as life goes, people are often busy with their own lives. As an only child with one parent gone physically and one rapidly deteriorating mentally, I was lonely, sad, and struggling with my physical and sometimes mental health.

In 2022, I met Eduardo online, who became instrumentally supportive of me. Even from a distance, I've always felt support and encouragement. Through my toughest days that winter, he was there. After months of talking, I flew to meet him, and there began our journey together. After visiting several times in 2023, I made a very tough decision to pursue our future together and moved semi-permanently in August 2023 to the Dominican Republic, where he is from, with the plan to travel back to see my mom, who at that point had in-home care coming, and other supporting people such as her sister and people from church. Together with his son, Edwarli, we created a family environment that supported growth for all of us. We took on his son full-time to get him out of a neglectful environment at his mom's and worked on furthering his education in the home. It hasn't been easy; we've overcome cultural differences, had to grow as people, and learn how to be what each other really needs. But we have never quit, and Eduardo has never wavered in his supportive nature, encouraging me, grounding me, and loving me through all my ups and downs.

In May, I got a text from a cousin letting me know that my other cousin, who had been battling cancer, was in hospice. I don't think I had realized how bad things really were, but as difficult as it was to get on a plane and leave my little family, I was back in Cincinnati in less than 24 hours to say goodbye to my cousin and support my aunt however I could with my mom. During this difficult visit home, I started the Medicaid application to start pushing in the direction of mom being in assisted living memory care. I was there an entire month. It was a difficult month being home and dealing with a lot of difficult things and without the supportive presence of my partner. I flew back home to DR, and not 2 weeks later, my mom had a major episode and was hospitalized. A blessing in disguise because it got her into a care facility much sooner than I'd have been able to make happen. My aunt, who just lost her daughter, could focus on grieving, and that was a relief to me because I already was carrying a lot of guilt. Being back in the DR with all the challenges my mom was having adjusting was really difficult. They had to send her to a geriatric psychiatry unit because she was having "undesirable" behaviors. I'm sure it was a very hard adjustment for her. They got her "stable," which means tranquilized, and sent her back to Ohio Valley Manor.

In the end of August this year, they told me she didn't have much time left, she wasn't eating, and that if I wanted to be with her in her last days, I should schedule a trip home soon. I came home October 5th; Hospice had been brought in September 1st. It's very hard feeling like your heart is in two places. It was very hard to leave my partner and my boy. But I came, I spent 4 days a week with my mom, who was improving day by day after being taken off the tranquilizers by hospice. But my family back home was waiting on me. Edwarli's 9th birthday was December 6th. I've been back in the DR since the 4th of December, and I am feeling incredibly stressed, sad, and confused. It's like I can't feel really good either place. It's a hard situation, and I am doing my best.

The solution is to have all my family in the same place. And so I'm pleading for your help. Our plan is to file for a K1 & K2 visa, with a request for expedition due to the nature of my mom's health. Eduardo is committed to helping and supporting me with my mom's care. Edwarli would be able to go to a good school. And I wouldn't feel torn apart or have regrets later about what I wasn't able to do for my mom. The situation is time-sensitive. Please, if you can find it in your heart to help me bring my family all together to care for my mom in her time left, it would be an incredible blessing. If you have any questions, I am happy to answer them. God bless you and keep you.