Joni Howell STG 4 Cancer,Mother,Wife,40yr old

Joni Roberts Howell Story

Her name is Joni Roberts Howell. The love of my life, Mother of our two children Emma 10 years old and Ava six years old. If you don’t know what it’s like to watch cancer just eat your spouse to death and there’s not one thing you can do about it? It’s a very hard thing to do.It’s like an unending nightmare that you just can’t wake up from. 

Joni’s Story

• Starts in December 2019 Joni had sharp pains In the lower abdominal area she bent down to pick something up and she felt something drop in her pelvic area. The next day she said she (self examination)felt something and felt heavy pressure and she felt like being pregnant and having a lot of pressure . I rushed her to the ER. The Doctor there said they thought it was a prolapse of bladder and referred us to go 24/7  OB/GYN clinic. After the hospital I took her to the clinic,  upon examination they thought it was a uterus prolapse which would have been worse. They said it is more common than what you think and that they have many patients come into at are  prolapsed so bad that it’s on the outside. They said no big deal , just a sling or staple to tack it up . Well you can’t tell Joni no big deal she’s type person she’s mama she takes care of everybody else make makes sure that everybody is taken care of and doesn’t  take serious stuff about herself serious enough. So  for seven weeks she didn’t go get checked out she continued  with the pain. Now this is where I will always wonder could there been a different outcome -Joni was always the type person  for some unknown reason, that always had false positive results from yearly paps with her OBGYN visits and I remember these visits myself she said they go back as far back to when she was a teenager . She would go to her OB have her yearly done the results will come back then they would have to go in and Take samples meaning scraping the vaginal walls to get samples to send off to see if they’re cancerous. Then it would come back as positive. Then she’d have to go back again and they would do more cutting to get a better sample and send them off it always came back is a false positive meaning it was positive for cancer but it was not really cancer they always told us that sometimes happens and I don’t know why but her last gynecologist said it was usually  due to lots of caffeine and nicotine but with Hoi she couldn’t give an answer why . So after several years  of visits and false positive test (this is where I don’t blame her) She didn’t  didn’t want to do this every year go back and I imagine it’s just as painful as it sounds.  So after our last child she stopped going to her OB all together .So when she had this sharp pain in what they thought was a prolapsed uterus or bladder she just went on about her normal life for the next seven weeks done everything I could try to get her go. Family members  talked to her,  her sister talked to her trying to get her to go . During the seven weeks she was still having pain Joni has a pretty good tolerance for pain after seven weeks my mom finally went and sat in the driveway and told her she was not leaving until she went with her she was taking her to the doctor . Joni agreed to go with my mother and this is where the cancer comes in she went with my mother to the visit next thing you know a week later we’re going to Levines cancer institute and didnt know where we were going or what was going on , we pretty much figured it out after pulling up to the office . The DR told her she had  cervical cancer stage 2B. She had not been to her gynecologist since our last child was born Ava. That was five years before.  2019 was a monumental year for us , we celebrated our 10th year anniversary in March 2019 and we were getting back on our feet after landing a good job after several years of lay offs and repossessions( we lost our house in 2016, her car, my truck, everything) we had bought a new home
  

Above is this past March anniversary, first time in 12 years she could fit back in the dress and maybe odds are the last time she will get to wear it

Below is our wedding day March 28th , 2009

 As we just about to close on the house , Joni’s mother passed away from a long battle with a rare lung disease. This wasn’t the new start that we were hoping to get. By this time we had realized every time we got back on our feet we were knocked right back off of them only to get up brush ourselves off and start back up the hill . I had a broken ankle that happened just a week before Joni’s mother passed. Yeah when it starts it-snowballs and that snowball takes us right back to the bottom and Joni would keep on encouraging me and I would encourage her that we would get back up that hill . We settled into our house and maybe had a full year before the cancer came and she did 6 weeks of chemo and 6 weeks of external radiation then it was time for the internal and this is what scared us all. Meanwhile COVID was ramping up here in th US and my plans of taking my vacation hours and FMLA during this time didn’t get to happen they had to cut so many people and my job is one of those that there’s 4 guys 1 per shift and wecan’t be out if the plant is running we have to be there Christmas thanksgiving all holidays if you are scheduled to work you gotta be there no matter what day or date  it is so that put me in a situation to where I had to work instead of being there with her or for her. This killed me on the inside. Back to the treatment she had 4 weeks of internal radiation and this is what did the damage of course we didn’tknow it until months later so after finishing treatments and a couple weeks later her pet scan day came and we eagerly waited the results. SHE WAS CANCER FREE !! We were on top of the world for almost three months then some pain started back and it got worse by the day. Before she could make it to her 3 month checkup she had called told the Dr what was going on and there it was in three months back stage four  and spread  and the worst of it the internal radiation had pierced a small hole in her colon and she was leaking wasteall throughout her body , septic, bad infection she was in the hospital for the next 20 weeks she spent in the hospital she had several tubes trying to drain the infection out . She lost a good bit of weight during treatment and this only made it worse she got down to 98     lbs at her healthy weight she was 146-150lbs so with her being-so malnourished there was nothing more they could do and sent her home to be with family and gave her 12-18 months . She was so frail her body absolutely couldn’t handle treatments again . They gave her those 12-18 months almost ten months ago and I see the decline in her strength her pain is gotten so bad I can’t be in the room when she’s moaning and screaming God please take the pain away and she says I know I might need another one where I have to ask for help God so you know I don’t ask much! She has inspired me to help out the word out there about yearly visits and please women please go to your OB yearly if this story can save one life it will be worth it . Joni has no life insurance. I hadn’t been at my job long enough to add her on so when this happened of course I tried getting it through work through guaranteed acceptance insurance and I foundout that no matter what policy you have to have it two full years before it will pay . As I sit here Trying to get this page up and going  work right now  12 hours nightshift. I’m a normal person working to take care of my family I don’t have thousands of dollars put up for her final expenses medical bills family expenses children’s savings maybe college fund with any leftover. When I left For work tonite I gave her a kiss,  told her how much I love her and As I walked away thinking  this to be the last time I see her.It’s  terrible feeling like this, I   do have FMLA time that I can take at work Suspend it is unpaid time off anyway you can’t afford it . My father-in-law and I had a conversation yesterday He was asking me and I made any final arrangements. Me not wanting to except it, not being able to afford anything I haven’t. This makes me feel terribleI have her final expenses  I would have to pay, education for my children In raising them hopefully sending them off to college one day . It’s a lot in the beginning of this I said I wouldn’t use this cancer for pity and we don’t want pity now we just want our Joni - Wife, mother, sister, daughter and mostly friend that’s loved by all . If you have had the chance to meet Joni then you already know. God has laid a heavy burden on me Did you see where is out there to get the awareness out there for  the female type  cancers. Joni would  always tell everybody during her treatments One day she would be Carolina panthers stadium Can I hear story if she had been healed  by God. Unless God intervenes very  soon, she will not have that chanceBut maybe through her story & through the word I   try to get out there that some lives could be saved. In Closing if you  have something to give we appreciate it very much ! From the Bottom of our hearts, and if you can’t give just knowthat Joni would appreciate your prayers and your thoughts and remember to go to your regular yearly Dr appointments!

Thanks , God Bless
Howell Family

Below is Joni & Emma ( New swings Joni purchased for the girls)
Above is healthy Joni pre-cancer 
Below is Joni the day after she came home from hospital

She blames herself for already leaving us says it’s her fault I reassure her it’s not her fault and that wewill be ok , since she has been blaming herself I keep my emotions to myself and try not to let her seeme crying I will wait to mourn andgive Joni the most attention and time I can . It’s very hard thing to watch if you’ve never had to watch a spouse whithering away right before your eyes the pain and thedecline I see it get worse everyday 

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 Once again thanks for your support if you can’t support financiallythat’s ok too just keep my family and most of all Joni my darling in your prayers THANKS
COREY HOWELL
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