Karyn McDonald's Memorial Fund

On Sunday, October 2nd at 12:15 am, our dear "Karebear", Karyn McDonald, took her last breath on the Earth. As her daughter's sweet soul sister wrote, “Our world lost an angel, and heaven gained one.” It became so apparent after the word began to spread of her transition that Karyn meant so much to so many. It happened so fast and was completely unexpected; a shock for her friends and certainly for her daughter and son-in-law, Melisa and Eric. This resilient, powerful, courageous, intelligent, self-sufficient, bright beautiful spot on the horizon went out like a shooting star burning bright for just a few seconds and then, was gone.

Unfortunately, Karyn did not prepare for her end-of-life care expenses, and it happened so fast, Melisa and Eric didn't either; it was unexpected and truly devastating. Please help support them in giving as generously as you feel called to Karyn's Memorial Fund so that they may be able to pay for the cremation and give Karyn the proper send-off and Celebration of Life she deserves. Rest in Peace, Karebear! Thank you to everyone!

For those who would like to connect a little more deeply to Karyn's story and her transition, please read this beautiful letter from Melisa - sharing a little piece of her heart with you about her dear Moma.

Moma and Leas

Most people say that Mom had lived a good life – little did they know the life my mom walked through was tough. Her folks didn’t have a whole lot of money, so she became creative and resourceful. Mom always worked hard at getting excellent grades in school, helping keep the house and garden, plus looking after her little brother. When it came time for college her dad told her they did not have the money for her to attend, so she enrolled in secretarial courses at Pasadena City College (PCC). She was resigned to the fact she had to be a secretary, but her guidance counselor wasn’t. The counselor called Mom into her office one day and said, you are failing shorthand and acing Calculus – why do you want to be a secretary? Mom shared that her dad told her there wasn’t money for her to attend college, and the guidance counselor said, oh honey, you can earn yourself a scholarship. And she did. My mother earned a full ride to the University of Southern California (USC) for her junior and senior years. She graduated summa cum laude in 1969. FIGHT ON!!

After college, she was married – to a man who was violent and abusive. Divorced when I was 10 months old, she raised me on her own. Mom oftentimes would not eat so I could eat. She sacrificed much to ensure I was well taken care of and that I had what I needed. That meant working long hours and being exhausted most of the time. Mom did it gladly and always told me how much she loved me. She even sacrificed dating men too much, though there was a special person in her life who had been in love with her since the moment they met. His name was Ed. Some 15 years later, she married Ed. Her ring had 15 diamonds in it – one for each year he waited to marry her. They were inseparable, even carpooled to and from work together, until the unthinkable happened. Ed had a massive stroke that crushed half his brain and his brain stem; he was brain dead in 20 minutes. They had been married one year, four months, and four days.

I had never seen my mother hit her knees the way I saw her go down on this very rainy and dark day. Truthfully, she was never the same. A piece of her died with Ed that day. But though she was literally broken she picked herself up once more and carried on. She went on working until it was time for retirement. Mother had so many plans for her retirement. It was said (by me) that she had the “Martha Stewart gene” – and she passed it on to me (thanks mom!) She could paint, craft, sew, bead, you name it – she could do it. And she did. Until the day she didn’t – Mom had a terrible fall and broke her left arm very badly at the shoulder. The first surgical attempt to fix it failed when she was 5 weeks into rehabbing it – and the only possible solution was a full shoulder reversal replacement. This was hell on earth for my mom, as was the rehab. I believe my mother gave up at this time – she believed she couldn’t do anything she loved any longer and sank into a deep depression, becoming increasingly reclusive. She wasn’t “sick”, but she wasn’t “well” either. Mom was lonely. She had no life partner, her folks, elders, and close friends had also died and her brother lived very far away. She had me and Eric, but though she loved us madly – we weren’t enough to fill that void. Mom started to sleep all the time and we had trouble getting her to eat.

Mother’s body became sick and atrophied and suddenly she could not walk, feed herself, dress herself, her memory was going, and all of this seemed to happen overnight. She began falling a lot and that terrified all of us. Eric and I were desperate to get her the help she needed and brought her to a new doctor – an internist – who came VERY highly recommended. On one particularly bad day, mother could not even step into her shower or walk to the bathroom. Eric and I took her to the ER (again – so many times) she was admitted and it was discovered her vital organs were shutting down. Mother was dead in two weeks’ time. Before the end, she was on life support and could not wake up, though she was not sedated. Her advanced directive requested to let her go peacefully. This warm, wonderful, incredibly talented, and lovely person was extubated on Saturday, October 1st at approximately 8:00 pm and she took her last breath around 12:15 am on Sunday, October 2nd, 2022.

It occurred to me in that moment of silence after she took her last breath – She was there when I took my first breath, and my heart began beating, and I was there holding her when she took her last breath and her heart ceased beating. It was so bittersweet. I miss her tremendously – I always will. She will always be my hero. She wasn’t a perfect person – but none of us are. She tried her best and gave it all she had, and I wouldn’t be who I am today, without her. Mom touched so many lives, each person she shared herself with, will never forget her. I was reminded of this fact when the Facebook posts, texts, calls, and emails came flooding in about how special she was to each person reaching out to me.

I miss you, Moma! Love, Leas