Keep Kevin's Dream Alive: Help Yulia Secure Their Future

Yulia Golobokova is organising this fundraiser.

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I am Yulia, Kevin's wife. Originally from Russia, Siberia but have my permanent residency in US since 2023. It took us 3 years to get me to the country. I don't really know what to write here, Kevin.

You were always helping me with my English and essay strucutres, I loved his writing but I'll try. I do recommend you to go to his Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/kevinshardelman?igsh=MXJxNjF0eDd6b25vNg== and look through his highlites of our travels. He is a great story teller and I made him organize those things and do not regret that.

We met online in 2019, Tinder. Talked for a year and I came to US to fullfil my dream - do a cross country motorcycle trip. I ride as well. Well, we did that and it was the most amazing

date ever - 2 weeks on his first motorcycle, Suzuki Vstrom.

Our relationship has florished since then with ups and downs of course but we made trips to Armenia and Georgia (twice after the war in Ukraina had started), even tried to buy an apartment there but failed, then Turkey, Russia, Poland, Bulgaria, Romania. We also did another trip in US from Bremerton to California and back through Colorado and Oregon. I have started our motorcycle instagram account https://www.instagram.com/motoadventure_world?igsh=MWh6enBhaWVveW1jbg== where we planned to advertise our guided tours first in US and then in the world. I am still open to this idea but not alone.

The first thing I told Kevin when we finally first met offline in Seattle was that 'no matter how it ends, I want you to know - you are an amazing person, Kevin Shardelman'. And it's so true with all the messages I am receiving from people that know him, yes, still know him.

As I am reading his posts, friends' messages, watching our reels and scrolling through Telegram video, text and audio messaging I cry. He has such a deep and mainly voice, he was always the life of the company, 'the legend' as one of his friends told me. I tried to inspire him to start doing stand up shows but he refused. Well, I started doing that instead and I shall continue.

I have never experienced such an unconditional love before. You broke all my insecurities in a good way, you showed me that I am beautiful and sexy, you helped me through the loss of my Mum in 2023, she died when we got the interview date in Poland. No one ever loved me the way you did, baby.

I was supposed to come back to USA from my trip to Russia on 13th of this November. You stopped answering my messages in Telegram and I got worried. I cheked FB and saw all the messages. I didn't see 'died' word there and I hoped till the momnet I called your mum and she sad it was 'a FATAL motorcycle accident', I do know the meaning of word 'fatal' but I asked again if you are alive. That day I was in our apartment in Saint Petersburg, my first mortgage in Russia, one of our future investments. You told me you would love to stay there one day as you liked Piters more than Moscow.

Have I thought about suicide? I have. But I am too strong to make that happen and as I told you once (yes, you didn't like the conversations like that) but I told that if I die, I want you to continue to be happy. Paying off our mortgage in US, travel, learn and be happy with somebody else.

It sounds wild now and I don't know how you would tolerate my loss but I am suffering A LOT. I will see you today, don't want to say 'your body' I will see YOU. I will kiss you and say good bye, baby. Too many thoughts right now. As I am writing this I cry at your parents' place, wonderful people who became my family as well as your sisters, TJ, Steven and friends. Nate, Miah, Goff, DRay, Sean I know I can trust you guys, I will always appreciate that.

Well, I don't know what else to say. My main goal now is to save OUR house. I am currently unemployed but will start looking for a job as soon as I can. I am not gonna lie, sometimes I feel angry that you lied to me about other debts. I don't know if I have the right to ask for such a big amount. I made rough calculations and it seems like in the worst case scenario we\I will need $27000 to pay everything off and have one month of mortgage covered.

And then I am on my own. Our house will be paid off in 30 years with $500.000 paid in interest, I hope I will be able to make extra payments. I need to know if you transferred your GI bill towards my name. If not I am looking at another $17000 for my education so I can start practicing as a therapist in 2 years (I am already a licensed therapist in Russia). It's tough to talk about financies right now but after we are done with the funeral a regular life should continue for me and your family. You were so happy that we finally got our own place, it was supposed to be our first Xmas in this house and I will do everything I can to keep it for you and for me.

Your dreamt about buying real estate in different places and traveling. You loved your family. You helped people. You liked riding. You saved me. And now I don't really know how to finish this. It will take me a long time to go through all our memories because they are great.

One day I will buy myself a spider and travel to Utah and Arizona, Monument Valley where we didn't end up going but wanted to, I will take the urn with me though we never discussed that. Or maybe I will let you be in different places along the way as Goff suggested.

It is okay to cry. Yes, guys, if you are a man and you want to cry, please cry. I won't hold myself tight at the funeral, I will need people's support.

Everything is starting now. Long nights in a bed alone. Mourning anf grieving. As a therapist I know the stages, I do recognize them and I know the time line but I don't really know how I would feel in a month, in a year without you. So many places in this city reminds me of us. Even though Bremerton is my home for now I gotta let it go. Our last sunset at the Boat Shed when we celebrated the house purchase.