Kimberly Ann Gonzalez (Pacheco)

My name is Brandy and I am Kimberly's daughter, and on August 5th, 2023 my mother passed away suddenly.

My mom and I didn't have a close relationship throughout the years. We would talk and then something would happen and we wouldn't see each other for months sometimes years. It was really heartbreaking for me. I remember calling my mom in February 2012 and telling my mom that I was pregnant with my son, her grandson. That was not the happy moment I thought I was going to get. As time went on I saw and heard from her less. I know my mom had a lot of things happen in her life that made simple day-to-day living very hard. My mom was a loving person and would help anyone if she was able to. My mom struggled with mental health issues and addiction. And so when my mom would call and need me I was always right there. I craved a relationship with her. And I got a text message on June 6th, 2023 from her saying, " Stay cool and have a good day, I love you." That was the first time in almost 9 months that I had heard from her. I was taken aback and not sure if I should answer back or not. When I did later on in the day I found out that my brother was not here and he was dealing with some legal issues and was in jail. I am trying to process everything and I told my mom that I would come over and see her in a couple of days. That I was working and had baseball games and school with my son. Her grandson whom she never really had a relationship with. I asked if she wanted to attend baseball games with me, my son's 5th-grade graduation. I tried and she kept telling me no.

Finally the end of June, she started calling and talking to me more and we started to talk about things that she wanted to do with us as a family and that she wanted to get better and move. I was not working at this time so I spent from the 15th of June til the 3rd of August with my mom every day. My mom and I got into a routine where we would call and talk to each other while we drank our coffee and got ready for the day. I would pick her up and we would get our nails done, and go shopping and we started to have that relationship that I was wanting finally after 39 years.

I honestly thought things were starting to turn a corner and I was going to have my family back. Life was starting to look a lot better, my husband and I were in the process of buying a house and we were about 2 weeks from moving in when my mom passed. But we had been looking at a place close to me for Mom and we were getting excited about the plans we were making. Out of nowhere it came to a halt and that was it, it was over in a blink of an eye.

My mother was 59 years old and she had a lot of health issues with COPD, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and addiction. My mother was a very helpful woman and many people loved her. My mom was under a lot of stress due to my brother having to do some jail time and not being able to be here.

On July 27th, 2023, my mom's older sister Melva passed away from cancer. As siblings they have differences and they were not as close as they would like to be. On July 27th, my mom Kimberly was able to see her sister and have the time to spend with her before she passed. It was hard for my mom to know that things would forever be changed.

On August 3rd, 2023, I picked my mom up and we drove over to McMinnville for my aunt's viewing. There was family around and relatives we hadn't seen in a long time. My mom was feeling a little overwhelmed and I could see this. There were a lot of emotions going on with everybody. My husband, me and my son took my mom to a late lunch at Alf's before heading home.

I remember my mom not talking very much as we drove back to Salem, and I just took it as my mom had a lot going on in her mind and needed to sort things out and deal with her feelings the way she needed. My mom would hold things in and then she would let them all come out at once. As I drove into my mom's parking lot I looked at her and said, " I love you, Mom, please call me if you need anything. I will see you tomorrow." My mom got out of my car and said, "Okay." As she walked upstairs I just felt something off and I wanted to stay and do what I could do.

My mom and I had a difficult relationship, when she would get quiet or upset, I would let her be for a day and then go back to normal.

Friday, August 4th, 2023 at 1:30 pm was the last time I talked to my Mom. My son and I had just sat down for lunch and she called me. "What are you guys doing?" I said, " We just sat down for lunch, what are you doing?" My Mom replied, "Fine, Nevermind," and she hung up the phone. Like any other time, I said okay and I thought to myself I will wait and let her cool off, she will talk to my brother tonight and tomorrow will be better. That night I had to drop my son off with his father for his visitation. From there me and my husband had dinner with his family. I went home afterward. My Mom was on my brain and I wanted to call her but I didn't want to upset her. So I said I'll call her tomorrow and it will be fine.

Saturday, August 5th, 2023...I will never forget.

I called my Mom and no answer, I called again no answer, I texted her no reply. I called my aunt my mom's sister and told her I was going to go over there cause there was no answer. I left my house at 11:40 am and I pulled in at my Mom's at 11:45 am. I went up her stairs and I knocked. Nothing. I knocked a little harder. Nothing. I called and I knocked. Nothing. I went to her neighbor and knocked. No answer. I finally after 30 minutes of knocking on this door I got in my car and I called my aunt again and said I can't get her to answer, I hear the TV and her cat but not her. She told me to try and open the door and if not to call the police. I said I would try again. I knocked and knocked til about 1 pm and I messaged my brother and said call me, please. My brother called me and I told him what was going on and he tried calling her and no answer and he told me to pound on the door and call the police. It's about 1:15 pm now and I called the police I have my husband and my aunt and my brother on right after another on the phone.

By this time I am crying and yelling at my Mom's door begging for her to open it. My husband gets there right as the police show up. I yelled at the officer and told him to break the door in, I don't care I want that door open.

I will never forget this day as long as I live. The two officers looked at me and told me to stay out til they had done a walk-through. At 1:59 pm the door was kicked in and my Mom had fallen/passed out and hit her head in her bathroom. When I got to the top of those stairs between the smell and the look on the officer's face, I lost it. I yelled and I screamed. My whole world crumbled right then and there. I was angry at myself for not going and checking on her sooner. I had every emotion running through me. And then all I could hear was my brother's voice in my head, sissy what's going on is everything okay. My brother had to find out that our Mom was gone while he was in jail and I had to tell him this.

It had been the worst past 2 weeks I could ever imagine. I never thought that one minute I was laughing and having my mom right here and we were making plans and getting back what we had never had to this.

I am struggling mentally, emotionally and financially. I am having a hard time coming to terms with my mom being gone and having to move her things and pay for her funeral expenses.

I am not one for asking for help, but right now I am needing help, I have funeral expenses I can't afford. I have exhausted every resource I have. I feel like I have failed as a daughter and sister. I feel I should have done so many other things differently. I am trying hard to stay sane but I don't have the means to pay so if any of you have a heart and a little spare to help me and my brother and pay for the unexpected expenses, we will forever be grateful for you. Anything in this time of need would be appreciated.

I am always willing to help friends and family and I am hoping I can get help when I am truly needing it. This is a tragedy I never saw coming and I hope and pray no one has to deal with this.