Lavelle Family Surrogacy
Donation protected
The 2 Minute Version:
Sarah: I injured my spine in 2017 and my doctor at Northwestern ended up having me see a cardiologist due to light-headedness I’d experienced after the injury. Turns out, I have a Bicuspid Aortic Valve with a significantly dilated (enlarged) aorta. My aorta is enlarged to the point that if it grow much more it risks tearing so I cannot take up any activities that will cause major strain on the heart like weight lifting, cross fit, etc.
I also received the heartbreaking news that I am unable to carry children because once in a 3rd trimester, the heart grows and should a tear occur while pregnant I’d have less than an hour to get into open heart surgery and risk a fatal outcome for myself and a child. The option we’ve decided on for growing our family is surrogacy to have a child that is genetically ours. We’re currently going through IVF and working with a surrogacy agency which is very costly ($85,000-$150,000). We’re looking for any support anyone would like to give to help us on this journey to parenthood!
The Full Story:
Sarah: About two years ago, I injured my back during an exercise class. My general doctor is at Northwestern so I went in to see her about a week after the injury since things didn’t seem to be getting any better. She recommended I give my body another week to heal and if no improvements were made she’d send me in to get an MRI. As the week progressed, my back was not feeling any better and I wasn’t able to do my normal exercise activities which was driving me crazy. At the time, I had been going to Barre classes or running about 5-6 times per week like a freaking maniac. So the fact that my body wasn’t working with me the way it had for the previous 29 years got into my head and made my anxiety sky rocket. My anxiety got to the point that I was starting to feel light headed and have blurred vision. Looking back on it now, did I over react? Yes, but all of it led to the discovery of an unknown medical condition and may have saved my life.
Now, Northwestern is a learning hospital so when my doctor heard about all of my “symptoms” she had me see an ophthalmologist, cardiologist, and a spinal doctor. It was a bit much but ultimately I am grateful for their due diligence. We ended up learning that I injured my cervical spine and had to go through about 5-6 months of physical therapy. All other tests/appointments checked out with the exception of my cardiology appointment.
Before I saw the cardiologist, they had me get an echocardiogram. Heart issues run on my dad’s side, so it didn’t hurt to check it all out. Turns out, the echo showed that I have a Bicuspid Aortic Valve. Cool. What does that mean? Basically, a normal heart has three leaflets on their valves that pump blood and oxygen through the different chambers of the heart. My aortic valve only has two of these leaflets. So, I see my cardiologist about the valve. She tells me that everything is working great and I have a healthy heart and valve. Apparently this valve condition is more common that you’d think and there are many people out there who have a bicuspid valve and live a full life never knowing about it. Again…cool. The only caveat my doctor mentioned was that there can sometimes be a correlation between a Bicuspid Aortic Valve and an enlarged Aorta. To be safe, she went ahead and put in an order for me to get an MRI on my heart to look at the size of my aorta. Due to the healthy state of my heart from the echo I assumed this MRI would turn out completely fine and should that be the case, I’d get echo’s every year to ensure the valve was still healthy. After that first appointment with my cardiologist, I felt good. Part of me even felt kind of cool that I now knew I had some heart condition but was totally fine as long as I continued to take care of myself.
Over the next 6-8 months, I finished physical therapy, was back to a consistent workout schedule and was feeling great. I had basically forgotten about the MRI, as in my mind, it was going to be a waste of time, work had been crazy, and I am also an excellent procrastinator. My cardiologist reached out urging me to get it done since the expiration of the order was coming up. It was about a week before my “dreaded” 30th birthday and I went in to get the MRI. Now, this was no standard MRI where you are in and out in 20 minutes or so. Before I went into the room, they hooked me up to an IV and let me know the MRI would last about an hour and 15 minutes and consist of various breath holding exercises. Um…What? I immediately started having an internal panic since I am claustrophobic and couldn’t imagine being in the machine for that long. Give me a break.
I ended up doing it. It was awful. Holding my breath for 5-45 second intervals with and without contrast being pumped through the IV was terrible. The technician asked me about 20 times if I was doing “okay” because the heart monitor I was hooked up to likely showed me freaking out the entire time. You can’t hide anxiety when the technicians are keeping track of your heart rate.
Walking out of that appointment was such a great feeling. I had gotten this “pointless” thing over with and could now start worrying about what I’d wear for my big 30th birthday celebration coming up the next weekend. About two days later, my cardiologist called me to come back in to the office to discuss the results of the MRI. Since the same thing happened when they found my valve condition, I asked if we could just talk over the phone. The valve was ultimately fine so I was sure this was fine too. Did Northwestern really need another copay from me? She insisted that I come in and that the results from the MRI needed to be discussed in person. Oh, okay. Then I got a little nervous and agreed to go in a day or two later.
I will never forget the day that I had this appointment. It was June 21, 2018; one week before my 30th birthday. It was pouring rain outside and my umbrella snapped while I was walking the 20 minutes to the doctor’s office from work. The appointment was late in the morning. When the doctor came in to see me, she proceeded to tell me that the MRI results showed that I have a significantly enlarged aorta. What does that mean? Normal aortas are 3.9cm and mine was 4.6cm. As the aorta grows closer to 5cm, it risks tearing, which would cause serious issues. My doctor continued to tell me that I cannot get into weight lifting or cross fit as that type of strain on the heart can make the aorta grow and we needed to avoid that at all costs. She then asked me if I was on birth control. The answer was yes so she told me I needed to stay on it and avoid getting pregnant. Ok, now what?
The milestone of my upcoming 30th birthday was also signifying the year my husband, Andy, and I would try to start having children. I asked her to explain the reasoning behind what she had just asked of me and stated my plans for the next year. Turns out, when you are in your 3rd trimester your heart grows and since my aorta was already significantly enlarged it would put me at an even higher risk of it tearing with a pregnancy. If that ended up happening, I would have less than an hour to get into open-heart surgery and could risk a fatal outcome not only for myself but also for my child. That fact shook me and it still shakes me today.
My doctor asked that I give things another 6 months and get another MRI at that time to make sure my aorta wasn’t consistently growing. We were unsure if my aorta had been this size my whole life or if it had been growing and we just happened to catch it. Once we knew where everything stood in another 6 months, my doctor said we could talk about our options for children.
Now, I am a pretty emotional person but I do not like others to see me cry. Somehow, likely due to the shock of it all, I did not cry in the doctor’s office. As I walked outside, however, back into the pouring rain I started to feel like I couldn’t breathe. I began making my way back to my office and pulled out my phone to call Andy. The second he answered, I started bawling to the point I could barely speak. Through fragmented words, I was able to tell him the news, in which he told me to go home and take the rest of the day off. I probably should have listened to him but I didn’t. I pulled myself together and went back to the office to finish up my work day. If I would have gone home I would have been consumed with the information I had learned and likely would have cried all day, alone, until Andy got home. At least being in the office allowed me to focus on work and provided a distraction.
For the next 6 months, I tried not to think about things. Worrying about it wasn’t going to do me any good so I tried to stay positive and enjoy the people and things going on around me. Early December came quickly though. I endured another long, stressful MRI and went in to see my cardiologist with Andy. We learned that my aorta had stayed the same size at 4.6cm which was a good thing. It will never shrink; it can only grow from here on out so the fact that it stayed stable was good news.
What did this mean about children? My cardiologist said heart surgery would be viable if my aorta was 4.8cm-4.9cm but 4.6cm was not recommended for surgery. She said if we tried pregnancy she would need to see me very often, that I’d likely be put on bed rest for my entire 3rd trimester, and would absolutely need to have a C-Section IF I even made it through the pregnancy without my aorta tearing. Again…very risky and not ideal. Our best option, in having children that are genetically ours was laid out as surrogacy. So here we are over a year after learning about the significance of my heart issue and almost 8 months into our new journey to become parents.
The entire situation has put things into perspective and I’ve really grown as a person from the experience and continue to grow with each new step. I stopped worrying about the little things, and started to solely focus on the many positives I have in my life and the things that serve and support me and my family. Going through such a life changing experience of learning not only of a medical condition that needs to be closely examined for the rest of my life, but learning that all my dreams of motherhood are not going to be easy or happen how I’d ever imagined put things into perspective. It has taken me a long time to be able to talk about all of this. Even a few months ago, I couldn’t get through talking about it without crying. I owe so much to my family, my friends, and my therapist for helping me get to the place I am at today.
Andy and I are in the process of going through IVF. I will begin my first round of shots next month and pending all goes well; we’ll have viable embryos ready to transfer to a surrogate very soon. The entire process with the infertility center at Northwestern has been a long and emotional road. We’ve had to think about unthinkable situations and scenarios that could come of our path and make decisions many couples getting pregnant via normal outlets sometimes never need to consider or experience. We’re also at the point where we think we’ve decided upon an agency to use for our surrogate. This is the route we have to take since we don’t personally know anyone who can do this unthinkable, incredible thing for us. Agencies are wonderful places to ensure a smooth process between parents and surrogate but all of that comes with a price. The costs of everything is going to be anywhere from $85,000-$150,000 so we are asking for any assistance anyone would like to give to help us begin our family.
If you’ve taken the time to read through our story, I hope you know how much we appreciate it. If there is anyone who has gone through a similar situation or is experiencing a difficult path to parenthood please know that you are not alone and we’ll all get through it together, supporting one another.
Sarah: I injured my spine in 2017 and my doctor at Northwestern ended up having me see a cardiologist due to light-headedness I’d experienced after the injury. Turns out, I have a Bicuspid Aortic Valve with a significantly dilated (enlarged) aorta. My aorta is enlarged to the point that if it grow much more it risks tearing so I cannot take up any activities that will cause major strain on the heart like weight lifting, cross fit, etc.
I also received the heartbreaking news that I am unable to carry children because once in a 3rd trimester, the heart grows and should a tear occur while pregnant I’d have less than an hour to get into open heart surgery and risk a fatal outcome for myself and a child. The option we’ve decided on for growing our family is surrogacy to have a child that is genetically ours. We’re currently going through IVF and working with a surrogacy agency which is very costly ($85,000-$150,000). We’re looking for any support anyone would like to give to help us on this journey to parenthood!
The Full Story:
Sarah: About two years ago, I injured my back during an exercise class. My general doctor is at Northwestern so I went in to see her about a week after the injury since things didn’t seem to be getting any better. She recommended I give my body another week to heal and if no improvements were made she’d send me in to get an MRI. As the week progressed, my back was not feeling any better and I wasn’t able to do my normal exercise activities which was driving me crazy. At the time, I had been going to Barre classes or running about 5-6 times per week like a freaking maniac. So the fact that my body wasn’t working with me the way it had for the previous 29 years got into my head and made my anxiety sky rocket. My anxiety got to the point that I was starting to feel light headed and have blurred vision. Looking back on it now, did I over react? Yes, but all of it led to the discovery of an unknown medical condition and may have saved my life.
Now, Northwestern is a learning hospital so when my doctor heard about all of my “symptoms” she had me see an ophthalmologist, cardiologist, and a spinal doctor. It was a bit much but ultimately I am grateful for their due diligence. We ended up learning that I injured my cervical spine and had to go through about 5-6 months of physical therapy. All other tests/appointments checked out with the exception of my cardiology appointment.
Before I saw the cardiologist, they had me get an echocardiogram. Heart issues run on my dad’s side, so it didn’t hurt to check it all out. Turns out, the echo showed that I have a Bicuspid Aortic Valve. Cool. What does that mean? Basically, a normal heart has three leaflets on their valves that pump blood and oxygen through the different chambers of the heart. My aortic valve only has two of these leaflets. So, I see my cardiologist about the valve. She tells me that everything is working great and I have a healthy heart and valve. Apparently this valve condition is more common that you’d think and there are many people out there who have a bicuspid valve and live a full life never knowing about it. Again…cool. The only caveat my doctor mentioned was that there can sometimes be a correlation between a Bicuspid Aortic Valve and an enlarged Aorta. To be safe, she went ahead and put in an order for me to get an MRI on my heart to look at the size of my aorta. Due to the healthy state of my heart from the echo I assumed this MRI would turn out completely fine and should that be the case, I’d get echo’s every year to ensure the valve was still healthy. After that first appointment with my cardiologist, I felt good. Part of me even felt kind of cool that I now knew I had some heart condition but was totally fine as long as I continued to take care of myself.
Over the next 6-8 months, I finished physical therapy, was back to a consistent workout schedule and was feeling great. I had basically forgotten about the MRI, as in my mind, it was going to be a waste of time, work had been crazy, and I am also an excellent procrastinator. My cardiologist reached out urging me to get it done since the expiration of the order was coming up. It was about a week before my “dreaded” 30th birthday and I went in to get the MRI. Now, this was no standard MRI where you are in and out in 20 minutes or so. Before I went into the room, they hooked me up to an IV and let me know the MRI would last about an hour and 15 minutes and consist of various breath holding exercises. Um…What? I immediately started having an internal panic since I am claustrophobic and couldn’t imagine being in the machine for that long. Give me a break.
I ended up doing it. It was awful. Holding my breath for 5-45 second intervals with and without contrast being pumped through the IV was terrible. The technician asked me about 20 times if I was doing “okay” because the heart monitor I was hooked up to likely showed me freaking out the entire time. You can’t hide anxiety when the technicians are keeping track of your heart rate.
Walking out of that appointment was such a great feeling. I had gotten this “pointless” thing over with and could now start worrying about what I’d wear for my big 30th birthday celebration coming up the next weekend. About two days later, my cardiologist called me to come back in to the office to discuss the results of the MRI. Since the same thing happened when they found my valve condition, I asked if we could just talk over the phone. The valve was ultimately fine so I was sure this was fine too. Did Northwestern really need another copay from me? She insisted that I come in and that the results from the MRI needed to be discussed in person. Oh, okay. Then I got a little nervous and agreed to go in a day or two later.
I will never forget the day that I had this appointment. It was June 21, 2018; one week before my 30th birthday. It was pouring rain outside and my umbrella snapped while I was walking the 20 minutes to the doctor’s office from work. The appointment was late in the morning. When the doctor came in to see me, she proceeded to tell me that the MRI results showed that I have a significantly enlarged aorta. What does that mean? Normal aortas are 3.9cm and mine was 4.6cm. As the aorta grows closer to 5cm, it risks tearing, which would cause serious issues. My doctor continued to tell me that I cannot get into weight lifting or cross fit as that type of strain on the heart can make the aorta grow and we needed to avoid that at all costs. She then asked me if I was on birth control. The answer was yes so she told me I needed to stay on it and avoid getting pregnant. Ok, now what?
The milestone of my upcoming 30th birthday was also signifying the year my husband, Andy, and I would try to start having children. I asked her to explain the reasoning behind what she had just asked of me and stated my plans for the next year. Turns out, when you are in your 3rd trimester your heart grows and since my aorta was already significantly enlarged it would put me at an even higher risk of it tearing with a pregnancy. If that ended up happening, I would have less than an hour to get into open-heart surgery and could risk a fatal outcome not only for myself but also for my child. That fact shook me and it still shakes me today.
My doctor asked that I give things another 6 months and get another MRI at that time to make sure my aorta wasn’t consistently growing. We were unsure if my aorta had been this size my whole life or if it had been growing and we just happened to catch it. Once we knew where everything stood in another 6 months, my doctor said we could talk about our options for children.
Now, I am a pretty emotional person but I do not like others to see me cry. Somehow, likely due to the shock of it all, I did not cry in the doctor’s office. As I walked outside, however, back into the pouring rain I started to feel like I couldn’t breathe. I began making my way back to my office and pulled out my phone to call Andy. The second he answered, I started bawling to the point I could barely speak. Through fragmented words, I was able to tell him the news, in which he told me to go home and take the rest of the day off. I probably should have listened to him but I didn’t. I pulled myself together and went back to the office to finish up my work day. If I would have gone home I would have been consumed with the information I had learned and likely would have cried all day, alone, until Andy got home. At least being in the office allowed me to focus on work and provided a distraction.
For the next 6 months, I tried not to think about things. Worrying about it wasn’t going to do me any good so I tried to stay positive and enjoy the people and things going on around me. Early December came quickly though. I endured another long, stressful MRI and went in to see my cardiologist with Andy. We learned that my aorta had stayed the same size at 4.6cm which was a good thing. It will never shrink; it can only grow from here on out so the fact that it stayed stable was good news.
What did this mean about children? My cardiologist said heart surgery would be viable if my aorta was 4.8cm-4.9cm but 4.6cm was not recommended for surgery. She said if we tried pregnancy she would need to see me very often, that I’d likely be put on bed rest for my entire 3rd trimester, and would absolutely need to have a C-Section IF I even made it through the pregnancy without my aorta tearing. Again…very risky and not ideal. Our best option, in having children that are genetically ours was laid out as surrogacy. So here we are over a year after learning about the significance of my heart issue and almost 8 months into our new journey to become parents.
The entire situation has put things into perspective and I’ve really grown as a person from the experience and continue to grow with each new step. I stopped worrying about the little things, and started to solely focus on the many positives I have in my life and the things that serve and support me and my family. Going through such a life changing experience of learning not only of a medical condition that needs to be closely examined for the rest of my life, but learning that all my dreams of motherhood are not going to be easy or happen how I’d ever imagined put things into perspective. It has taken me a long time to be able to talk about all of this. Even a few months ago, I couldn’t get through talking about it without crying. I owe so much to my family, my friends, and my therapist for helping me get to the place I am at today.
Andy and I are in the process of going through IVF. I will begin my first round of shots next month and pending all goes well; we’ll have viable embryos ready to transfer to a surrogate very soon. The entire process with the infertility center at Northwestern has been a long and emotional road. We’ve had to think about unthinkable situations and scenarios that could come of our path and make decisions many couples getting pregnant via normal outlets sometimes never need to consider or experience. We’re also at the point where we think we’ve decided upon an agency to use for our surrogate. This is the route we have to take since we don’t personally know anyone who can do this unthinkable, incredible thing for us. Agencies are wonderful places to ensure a smooth process between parents and surrogate but all of that comes with a price. The costs of everything is going to be anywhere from $85,000-$150,000 so we are asking for any assistance anyone would like to give to help us begin our family.
If you’ve taken the time to read through our story, I hope you know how much we appreciate it. If there is anyone who has gone through a similar situation or is experiencing a difficult path to parenthood please know that you are not alone and we’ll all get through it together, supporting one another.
Fundraising team: Lavelle Fam (2)
Sarah Lavelle
Organizer
Chicago, IL
Andy Lavelle
Team member