Lend a Hand to the Woman with Helping Hands

The man sitting on the curb in front of the drug store hung his head in helplessness. In his hand was a worn green flip flop with a broken strap. He wasn’t begging. He wasn’t doing anything except staring at the old shower shoe as if trying to figure out how to fix it. Gail sprung into action without a second thought. “He needed help,” she told me later. “That’s what humans do.” She introduced herself to the teary eyed man and talked him into going into the store with her, where she bought him not just a new pair of flip flops, but something to eat and drink and a tee shirt to replace the torn one he wore. 

The response of my friend Gail Duykers to a homeless person in need should not have surprised me. Since the day I met her many years ago, I have seen her pay for the order of the person behind her in the drive through lane, or the toll for the car behind her at the toll booth, just because she thought it would be fun to do. And she has always stepped up when someone needed help. Years ago, when she learned that a homeless shelter was opening near her neighborhood and that some people in the area were complaining and trying to keep them out, Gail’s response was a bit different from her neighbors. She gathered up all the used blankets, pillows and clothes she could find and took them to the facility, welcoming them to the neighborhood and thanking them for the work that they do to help those in need.

Seven years ago Gail’s son-in-law died from a brain tumor. His medicaid coverage was finally approved two months after his death. He left a wife, Gail’s daughter Debbie, with numerous serious medical issues, and no resources. Because of her illnesses, she was unable to work or  manage the stairs in their home. Gail went to get her, moving her into her own small home and doing the best she could with the medical bills, paying for her medications out of her own pocket. The doctors said that Debbie was unable to work and would not be able to return to work. Although all of the proper documentation was submitted, attesting to her disabled status, her application for social security disability was denied time and again, making her ineligible for medicaid. With what savings she had, Gail continued to help. Then Gail’s husband Tony suffered a second debilitating stroke. She was his sole caretaker for the two years that he was totally disabled until his death five years ago.



 Throughout all of these trials, Gail has always smiled, telling us that everything would “work out,” and that she “always manages” somehow.

Then the termites came. She’s still smiling, but she has completely depleted her savings caring for everyone else and buying their medicine to keep them alive. The termites may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. 

Still smiling, Gail continues to do volunteer work to help others with her local Lion’s Club. This is what she does. She helps others. 

But now, the helper needs help. There is no money for termite treatment. There is no money for the repairs that she has been told must be made because the Formosan subterranean termites, the fastest and meanest of their type, are eating away at the structure of her small home. There is no money for continuing medical treatment and medications. Her social security check is enough to cover food and maybe a bit more. At the age of 75, after not working for 15 years, finding employment is a challenge.

Gail continues to tell me that she is hopeful that Debbie’s application for disability will be approved this time. It’s hard to see how it could ever have been turned down. There is no question that Debbie cannot work in her condition. Gail is the most positive, upbeat person that I know. But how long can you live on hope. 

I am hopeful, too. I am hopeful that some friends, and maybe even strangers, will step up to try to fill the gap to help my friend stay on her feet. Many of us have been in situations that were out of our control and seemed hopeless at the time. Just a little help from a few people could have made all the difference in the world. So I’m asking you to join me in helping out the woman who always helps everyone. Make a contribution, even if it’s small, to help her get past this point in her life. Let’s lift her up and give her some breathing room while she figures out what to do next. And let’s hope that she’s right, and that surely Debbie’s disability will be approved next time. Let’s hope that she will be able to look back and be grateful that friends, even some she didn’t know, helped her to get through it and remain the generous, positive, hopeful person that she’s always been.