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Let's Finally Fix This Limp Wrist

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Hey folks, it's me Julian. As you know, tragedy struck me in 1985 when I had the misfortune of being born in the United States. Fast forward 34 years and now I'm facing a new/the same threat: MEDICAL DEBT. 

A few months ago, I started experiencing pain in my left wrist. It would come and go at the strangest times and nobody could explain it. It limited all sorts of my favorite wrist-based activities including:

Pulling
Pushing
Lifting
Carrying
Holding things
Writing angry op-eds about dumb gay stuff
Handstand pushups
Certain X-rated wrist-based activities ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
And more! 

After a few months of getting no good answers and very little relief, I finally got in with a specialist, got an MRI, and got some answers! I've got a GANGLION CYST in my wrist and pushing all my bones apart and pressing down on nerves and honestly it's very rude! Luckily, I've got a date in late November for a very routine and uncomplicated outpatient surgery that can take care of this.

Unluckily, I live in the United States and even WITH MY INSURANCE, I'm on the hook for a sizable sum of money to pay for this surgery. This is just the estimated cost of the surgery and anesthesia, not counting time missed from work, any follow up visits, and any potential future physical therapy for my wrist, or anything the fine and hardworking shareholders of Aetna decide to tack on after the fact.

As we all know, the idea of the government taking your money to pay for my surgery is UNAMERICAN and TRULY DESPICABLE so instead I'd like to take your money through GoFundMe to do the same thing.

The illusion of choice makes it feel more American! 



In all honesty, I could really use your help and you'll get all kinds of benefits out of donating to me! For example, I'll send you pictures of my wrist! Maybe even some gnarly post-surgery recovery photos! And you'll almost certainly get some snarky updates from me regarding my recovery and the ways in which this has certainly reinvigorated my faith in the perfect American healthcare system! So don't think of it as a medical fundraiser! Think of it as one of those exclusive subscription-only newsletters. All for the low low price of whatever you can afford to spare! 

And if you can't donate, please share with friends and family and be sure to say things like "CONGRATULATIONS" when you do to game the algorithm. You're not just helping me; you're sticking it to Zuckerberg!

Cheers!
Your pal, Julian, whose wrist hurts from writing this.
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Donations 

  • Amber Butler
    • $25
    • 5 yrs
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Organizer

Julian Modugno
Organizer
Chicago, IL

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