Lillie for Miss Colorado USA Fees
Donation protected
My name is Lillie Baxter and I am raising money to enter the Miss Colorado USA Pageant. While I certainly aim to win, my true goal is to change the perception of how people with mental illness are perceived in America. Since childhood, I have battled with severe depression and anxiety. I want to show anyone who is watching Miss Colorado USA that a mental illness diagnosis isn't a death sentence. In fact, with proper help and support, you can thrive.

Since you are here, you probably want to know more about my story. There are a few things wrong with my brain. One of them is a birth defect - Isolated Cerebellar Vermis Hypoplasia to be specific. This condition has affected my entire life. I am sure you are asking, “What is this condition?” In simple terms, the vermis which is a layer between the two cerebellar lobes does not develop normally in utero and hence is slightly smaller than the average size vermis. Now, you are probably asking, “What is the vermis?” When we learn about the brain in biology or anatomy, we are not usually taught about the importance of the vermis. The vermis which assists in whole body posture and locomotion, is important in receiving sensory input and plays a vital role in vision. Consequently, an insufficient vermis leads to conditions such as hypotonia, ataxia, ocular motor abnormalities, mild motor delay and slurred speech.
In my case, my parents noticed an issue when I failed to meet developmental milestones. At the age of two I was unable to walk so I was tested and the results were Isolated Cerebellar Vermis Hypoplasia. It was uncertain if I would ever walk, much less walk normally, have normal cognitive abilities, the ability to deal with the noise and input of the world or even socialize with other children. Early on, I was even thought to possibly be autistic. It turned out that I was not autistic, but I did have impediments to overcome – strabismus, auditory processing disorder, sensory issues, low muscle tone and a general lack of coordination. However, rather than letting fate determine my path in life, my parents encouraged me to do all the things other kids were doing – gymnastics, ballet, singing, and art. Moreover, we attacked my deficiencies with therapy. Every kind that you can imagine - physical, occupational, massage, music, craniosacral and hippotherapy.

Growing up, I felt isolated from my peers because of all the doctors and therapy appointments. I wasn’t as great about developing friendships as well and I theorize this led to some of my social anxieties. Eventually, I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. This was hard and confusing for everyone in my family. Growing up with mental illness is difficult because on top of your diagnosis, you suffer from being unable to reach out for help. It is especially isolating because due to the intense stigma, nobody talks about their own experiences with therapy or mental health.
This isolation didn’t help with my anxiety and depression. Throughout the years, I have suffered panic attacks, intense mood swings, and suicidal ideation. However, my story is proof that when you work closely with your family and doctors, you can achieve great things. I graduated high school with a 4.17 GPA and went on to attend the University of Denver despite attending an intensive inpatient therapy program. I was a debutante twice and a member of Chi Omega despite my extreme social anxiety.
With the competition three months away, I have moved onto gathering supplies/outfits and preparing for the actual competition which has been a lot of work. Part of my preparation has been dedicated to the interview portion where you are asked all sorts of questions, but most importantly about what you want to do if you win.
While I started my fundraising campaign by talking about my experience with mental illness and birth defects, a lot has changed since then. In June, I received the soul crushing news that my friend’s life had tragically ended due to suicide. My seventeen-year-old friend aspired to attend college, become a therapist, and help people during their darkest times. He was a bright, kind, and talented person that was more focused on caring for those around him than himself. His death is a loss to the world.
As I sat down to process my grief, I realized that Miss Colorado is an opportunity that could give me a platform for a community service project. If I somehow win, I know I want to honor my late friend by supporting youths with mental illness.
My brainstorming process started with my own experience with mental illness. Mental illness diagnoses are nothing short of terrifying and it is scary to open up to anyone due to fear of perceived as a burden. I was only able to accept my multiple diagnoses and talk about them openly with mental health professionals after being around supportive friends with similar problems. Sadly, not everyone gets the positive environment and access to mental healthcare professionals that I have been blessed with.
My community service project would focus on helping youths with mental illness. If I were to win, I want to organize and host cost free and drug free events (such as cooking/baking classes, kickball games, concerts from local bands, and movie nights) to provide opportunities for youth with mental illness to have opportunities to expand their social circles.
My primary goal in organizing these events is to give participants a support network so they can fully understand that they are not alone. Additionally, I want to help these youths develop a passion so that it can become a healthy outlet for their intense emotions.
If my project receives the traction needed, I would also want to start a fund to help families with covering psychiatry and therapy appointments. This would make it easier for youth to receive the mental health help they need.
Although all of what I mentioned is completely dependent on my performance in Miss Colorado, the dream of helping others with mental illness has been pushing me to work harder. Every day, I am getting more excited about this opportunity and it is all thanks to my donors. Please consider contributing to my campaign so I can make this dream come true
Since you are here, you probably want to know more about my story. There are a few things wrong with my brain. One of them is a birth defect - Isolated Cerebellar Vermis Hypoplasia to be specific. This condition has affected my entire life. I am sure you are asking, “What is this condition?” In simple terms, the vermis which is a layer between the two cerebellar lobes does not develop normally in utero and hence is slightly smaller than the average size vermis. Now, you are probably asking, “What is the vermis?” When we learn about the brain in biology or anatomy, we are not usually taught about the importance of the vermis. The vermis which assists in whole body posture and locomotion, is important in receiving sensory input and plays a vital role in vision. Consequently, an insufficient vermis leads to conditions such as hypotonia, ataxia, ocular motor abnormalities, mild motor delay and slurred speech.
In my case, my parents noticed an issue when I failed to meet developmental milestones. At the age of two I was unable to walk so I was tested and the results were Isolated Cerebellar Vermis Hypoplasia. It was uncertain if I would ever walk, much less walk normally, have normal cognitive abilities, the ability to deal with the noise and input of the world or even socialize with other children. Early on, I was even thought to possibly be autistic. It turned out that I was not autistic, but I did have impediments to overcome – strabismus, auditory processing disorder, sensory issues, low muscle tone and a general lack of coordination. However, rather than letting fate determine my path in life, my parents encouraged me to do all the things other kids were doing – gymnastics, ballet, singing, and art. Moreover, we attacked my deficiencies with therapy. Every kind that you can imagine - physical, occupational, massage, music, craniosacral and hippotherapy.
Growing up, I felt isolated from my peers because of all the doctors and therapy appointments. I wasn’t as great about developing friendships as well and I theorize this led to some of my social anxieties. Eventually, I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. This was hard and confusing for everyone in my family. Growing up with mental illness is difficult because on top of your diagnosis, you suffer from being unable to reach out for help. It is especially isolating because due to the intense stigma, nobody talks about their own experiences with therapy or mental health.
This isolation didn’t help with my anxiety and depression. Throughout the years, I have suffered panic attacks, intense mood swings, and suicidal ideation. However, my story is proof that when you work closely with your family and doctors, you can achieve great things. I graduated high school with a 4.17 GPA and went on to attend the University of Denver despite attending an intensive inpatient therapy program. I was a debutante twice and a member of Chi Omega despite my extreme social anxiety.
With the competition three months away, I have moved onto gathering supplies/outfits and preparing for the actual competition which has been a lot of work. Part of my preparation has been dedicated to the interview portion where you are asked all sorts of questions, but most importantly about what you want to do if you win.
While I started my fundraising campaign by talking about my experience with mental illness and birth defects, a lot has changed since then. In June, I received the soul crushing news that my friend’s life had tragically ended due to suicide. My seventeen-year-old friend aspired to attend college, become a therapist, and help people during their darkest times. He was a bright, kind, and talented person that was more focused on caring for those around him than himself. His death is a loss to the world.
As I sat down to process my grief, I realized that Miss Colorado is an opportunity that could give me a platform for a community service project. If I somehow win, I know I want to honor my late friend by supporting youths with mental illness.
My brainstorming process started with my own experience with mental illness. Mental illness diagnoses are nothing short of terrifying and it is scary to open up to anyone due to fear of perceived as a burden. I was only able to accept my multiple diagnoses and talk about them openly with mental health professionals after being around supportive friends with similar problems. Sadly, not everyone gets the positive environment and access to mental healthcare professionals that I have been blessed with.
My community service project would focus on helping youths with mental illness. If I were to win, I want to organize and host cost free and drug free events (such as cooking/baking classes, kickball games, concerts from local bands, and movie nights) to provide opportunities for youth with mental illness to have opportunities to expand their social circles.
My primary goal in organizing these events is to give participants a support network so they can fully understand that they are not alone. Additionally, I want to help these youths develop a passion so that it can become a healthy outlet for their intense emotions.
If my project receives the traction needed, I would also want to start a fund to help families with covering psychiatry and therapy appointments. This would make it easier for youth to receive the mental health help they need.
Although all of what I mentioned is completely dependent on my performance in Miss Colorado, the dream of helping others with mental illness has been pushing me to work harder. Every day, I am getting more excited about this opportunity and it is all thanks to my donors. Please consider contributing to my campaign so I can make this dream come true
Fundraising team (2)
Lillie Baxter
Organizer
Denver, CO
Elinor Baxter
Team member
John Luke Horan
Team member