Lloyds journey ❤️

Hello everyone.

How to start this. As most of you are aware, I’m sadly back in the chemo chair fighting for my life with this cruel disease after only 3 months ago being told I was in remission and ‘well’ currently now stage 4 ovarian cancer. If I can raise over my target to get myself abroad for some other medical help, I would go tomorrow.

I was diagnosed with stage 3c ovarian cancer in December 2022. I had life saving surgery which removed a 32cm tumour alongside lots of other small ones, my appendix, part of my liver, a full hysterectomy, my diaphragm was stripped back. I then had 18 weeks of chemotherapy and put on to a tablet called Niraparib which was to stop the growth of the disease. A year later they said I was in remission.. 3 months later I got the dreaded news that the tablets are no longer effective and the cancer is back.

On Friday 27th September, I was called into a meeting to be told the cancer has spread away from my original place. My previous scan which was only 2 months prior showed just one node was flared but nothing for any doctor to yet worry about.. so I was told.

So going into the meeting, I thought worst case was my ca125 levels have gone up to nearly 200 because of this and they would just ‘nip’ it out which was previously discussed. The news was so far from this.

The cancer is in my entire stomach area, all up the centre of my chest, peritoneum, node system, over my liver area, around my lungs with tumours also inside my lungs. Just like that, it’s anyone’s worst nightmare again.

All because there is no testing for women for ovarian cancer so by the time most women get a symptom, they’re at an advanced stage of 3/4!!

I’ve been told they can’t operate first this time because there is too much spread over my body in too many places so it wouldn’t even be possible for a surgeon to get to. All they can offer is chemo again.

The words ‘it’s back’ is an empty feeling I can’t even explain, I don’t expect anyone to even understand but anyone in the same boat as me, will strongly feel these words and the pain I feel today.

I’ve reached out to someone called ‘Callie Blackwell’ which I’m sure many of you have heard about her story in how she saved her son. If not, please have a browse! She this past week has been in touch. Getting me set up into a plan that’ll hopefully help me, ease me from pain, like she’s helped so many others. Cbd/thc oils will probably never become a ‘cure’ in the UK. But there is so much behind these products day to day that help so many for multiple reasons and so many stories out there that people have been cured. I want this chance. I want to be out of this daily waking up in pain, waiting for the next bad results.

I’m going to start undertaking this daily, plus capsule mushrooms that have shown evidence in better people’s mental states and again other things. It’s something that isn’t cheap every 3 weeks, but also something I feel my body will better from alongside therapy on going again, counselling and everything else that’ll now take another hit. Just this alone is around £7000 just for one year with all the weekly tinctures, let alone the monthly cost of living and everything else stated.

I’ve also had to have the morbid conversation of setting my will up, if I would want to be buried or cremated and anything else that would be in my wishes. This is being done next week. It’s the last thing I ever I would of wanted to even think about at my age, but now being pushed into stage 4 and the cancer returning, I want and need to cover every area so no one is left to mop up my mess if that day does come. Some may read this and think I’m being extreme, but it’s hit home how expensive it is even for a basic cremation. The thought of leaving that for someone else to find and fund, doesn’t sit well with me. It’s morbid, it’s fucking shit. But it’s the card I’ve been re dealt and at this stage, I want to be covered.

The stage I’m at is, I’m currently now on chemo for 18 weeks - one 8 hour trip every 3 weeks. Half way through I will have scans and blood tests to see if the chemo is working and if it is shrinking and not continuing to spread.. if this shows evidence I will continue to the last 3 of my 18 weeks. If it’s shows the tumours are still growing and my cancer levels don’t come down, I won’t continue chemo and I don’t even want to bring myself to say what the final and last step of this shit/unfair storm will be.

With all the help I have received since being diagnosed, I never ever could have had the on going counselling, therapy, oils, the escapes, not having to worry about bills for living for the year whilst being off work, because of everything that was previously raised. It gave me the breathing space I needed and I couldn’t have had this without the help I received from everyone.

So I have set up a new go fund to continue from my previous, to help with everything that I have stated above. To help take away the daily pressures and be able to every 3 weeks keep re ordering the courses I’ve been suggested alongside chemo and after, to hopefully ease pain from my lungs and I prey, give me the same out come as Callie’s son. and if it doesn’t, I’ve given everything and tired.

I appreciate times are tough. And even if you can’t donate, it doesn’t matter. But please do just give this a share. It takes one click and would mean the world to me. Hopefully reach my target I have decided to put which will enable me to have everything covered needed with no worry or added stress of trying to find.

It’s always hard to put a target and it’s the worst part. But I have put pen to paper and this is the figure that if I can hit will see me through and make me able to pay off now what I need to do, so I can rest my mind. If there was ever enough miraculously raised I would look in to going abroad for alternative treatments that are not on offer in the UK.

Thank you for your time, your kindness and supporting me through this journey even just by sharing my story.

Heres to being bald again, but brave and beautiful.

Feeling so loved, beats having any hair. They can keep taking my hair, but I won’t let them take me ❤️

All my love,

Lloyd x