Help with the loss of Loretta Culver

Hi, Rachel here, the (favorite) niece of Lori. I want to start by saying thank you so very much to everyone taking the time to read this, share this, and/or donate to this cause. (If you don't have time to read the entire thing and just want to know what the funds are for, we won't be offended, feel free to skip to the last couple paragraphs for the details.)

Lori was someone it was impossible not to love. Smart, beautiful, funny, and a loving mother to Thomas and Lauren. She radiated love and laughter and was always ready to have a good time. In fact, I think it's safe to say that aside from true crime documentaries, get togethers with family and loved ones from all walks of life was her absolute favorite way to spend her time. She would sit with the biggest smile on her face and crack one-liners that not everyone would hear, but if you were lucky enough to hear, you'd be coupled over in laughter. There was something infectious about her laughter and her presence in general. Anyone who knew her can attest.

Now that I've painted this beautiful picture, I unfortunately need to get into the painful part of this all and why we are here. Wednesday night, February 7th, Lori had a massive cardiac event. Her son Tom was with her as she lost consciousness in his arms. He responded quickly, calling emergency services and giving her CPR to the best of his ability while waiting for responders to arrive. First responders, coincidentally a close friend of the family, were able to revive Lori and get her to breathe on her own, but informed Tom that chance of recovery was about 1%.

Her son Tom, her siblings Teri, Barbara, John, and myself spent the evening with her crying, reminiscing, and saying our goodbyes as Lori held on most likely to spend one last night with a few (but not all) of her favorite people. At 5:50 AM on Thursday, February 8th, Lori took her last breath surrounded by loved ones.

While we are all devastated, overwhelmed with grief, and still in shock that she is gone, we are also so grateful that she lived a life full of love, fun, family, and many adventures, wasn't alone when her journey ended, and that the last years of her life, time spent with multiple illnesses, she had her son Tom by her side the entire time taking care of her.

Tom spent 10+ years of his life taking care of his adult mother. None of us can plan where life takes us, and we never expect to have to dedicate over a decade of our early adulthood to caring for our parents, but when life took its course with Lori, Tom knew that's exactly what he had to do. Trust me when I say it had its ups and downs over the years, but ultimately Tom gave his mother and best friend more care and quality of life than she ever could have had in assisted living. More laughs, more pointless arguments that end in laughs, car rides jamming out to her favorite tunes, family events where we'd sneak Lori a cocktail or two much to Tom's detest, and many, many hugs, kisses, and tears of joy.

I could honestly write a novel with all of the details, but I've taken enough of your time already, so let me get to the nitty gritty. With the loss of his mother, Tom is going to need help financially. The day of Lori's cardiac event, Tom underwent surgery himself. What was meant to be a routine hernia surgery became an intensive surgery due to the extent of the hernia. His recovery from this alone has him out work for up to 6 weeks, but that recovery will be nothing compared to the recovery from losing his mother, roommate, and person he has spent almost every day with for the last 10 years.

With the costs accrued from this loss, cremation services, wake services, plans to get loved ones out to Seal Beach, CA to spread some of her ashes where decades ago we spread the ashes of Lori's mother, coupled with the fact that his insurance is giving him trouble and may not be covering the cost of his hernia surgery and the overall loss of monetary income during his recovery, Tom will soon be left with more financial stress on his shoulders than anyone in his position deserves. This coming right as he is opening his new business, something Lori and all of us are incredibly proud of, but that came with lots of expenses and left him without much income while he gets everything up and running.

All of this is why we are asking for any donations people are able to make. Cremation alone costs over $1000, services will be upward of $2000, rent and utilities while unable to work will cost $4500 per month between home and shop, and medical bills are still to be determined, but won't be cheap. Tom and Lauren deserve to grieve and heal without the stress of financial burden, but we can't provide that for them without your help.

So again, thank you all so much. I can't express the appreciation I'll feel for every single donation, share, and just every person who takes the time to read this.

UPDATE:

Wanted to give you all a little break, but it’s time to get this recirculating. We so appreciate all of the donations, shares, and everyone who has reached out, brought food, comfort, etc… The kindness you’ve all expressed has been a blessing in the darkness.

To update you, we’ve reached a great amount thanks to all the generosity, but we are still far from our goal. Tom and Lauren are slowly coming back to what their new reality is, but the cost of medical bills, rent, and finances lost from time off work after the loss of their mother adds up quicker than the donations do.

So, if you all wouldn’t mind sharing this again and hopefully helping us to spread it those who may not have seen it or known how to help, we will pile it onto the mountain of appreciation we already feel toward you all. Thank you so much, what a beautiful thing community is. ❤️