Keep my Family Together

Hello my name is Candice Hill. I’m am 33 years old and a single mom with two beautiful joyous boys Braylen and Malikhi. I’ve always struggled with depression and self doubt, even as a child I was unsure of myself. No one knows, except immediate family, that earlier this year April to be exact, I tried to take my life. These last two or three years have been so challenging mentally, and financially for me and I found myself in a hole that was closing in my life and I felt the only to end the fear was to end my life. By His grace only did I survive. I really think God was sitting with me that night as I tried pills, drugs, alcohol and a box cutter to end the hurt that I was dealing with. After realizing that God wasn’t done with me I decided to fight for my life and my happiness. Shortly after my incident I decided I wanted a new vehicle, because of the fact that I tried to end my life actually in the car I currently drove, and felt the need for a new start. I purchased the Mustang you all see in my photo, and left my Aunt, who my children and I were staying with, and moved to my hometown to start over. It didn’t take long to get a job and an apartment. All was left was to bring my children after summer, in time for school to start (they wanted to finish the summer with friends and family). Its been three months since I had my place and I worked so hard at my job, some weeks 7 days a week, in order to pay my bills in advance and be ready for my children. Unfortunately on July 4th when I went home to visit them the wreck happened. An elderly man pulled out in front of me and I was unable to stop in time. Thankfully I was not physically injured. Immediately my mind went to how will I get my children and be able to take care of them in this city, with no help. The same week I came back to work, and yes I went right back to work after the wreck, I had no choice but to push through the pain,(diagnosis-whiplash) the job cut out overtime and now I am only allowed to work 3 days a week until it picks back up. By the end of August I will be behind on my bills. I’ve spent almost 700 on rental cars just to still be able to see my boys. The money spent there is taking away from the money I need to pay my bills, but I have to see them. It literally hurts for me to be away from them and my baby (who’s5) doesn’t understand why I’m not able to visit him weekly like I promised I would when I left him. My car will be fixed soon but I don’t even have the money to pay the deductible (the other driver didn’t take responsibility, all claims are up to each individual driver). My rent was paid for August, but at this point I know I won’t have enough to pay it for September. If I can’t get my car back, I won’t be able to get my children down here because we at least need that. I don’t have anyone to depend on here. My light Bill is ridiculous $422,My car insurance $251, Car payment (yes I still have to make my payment even though the car isn’t drivable) $384. The rent $1300. I found out in May that I owe the IRS $20,000!!!!! The feelings I have right now, still struggling mentally, and trying to fight get up everyday and continue to live, not only for myself but for my children. My strength is dwindling. Sometimes I feel they would be better off without me. I miss them so much but I know I can’t take care of them right now. If anybody, anyone is willing to help me stay afloat or just help me get out of the situation I’m in it would mean so much to me and my boys. I also am only 27 credits away from finishing two degrees in Information Technology- Systems security and Networking. I hope once I finish and secure a job our lives will be easier. But I feel like I may not live through this year. I’m so tired. I’m ready to give up. But I know God is here, I know He will not forsake me.

I thank you wether your able to help or not, I thank you just for taking the time to read my story.