Mara McGraw's Medical Bills & Related Expenses

Hi, my name is Scott. I'm helping organize this fundraiser. All your donations go directly to Theron to help offset expenses. Thanks for your support! Any amount helps.

From Theron Thompson, Mara's partner:

We’ve launched this GFM to raise funds for family medical leave, hospice, medical-related costs, and soil transformation/funeral costs. Our hospice nurse says Mara is at the “days and weeks” stage, so every week that we get at this point is extra time with her. She’s been preparing for this, but it came sooner than all of us expected.

There are days when she is not really with us, but every day for me starts and ends with love. Because when she is present and aware with me, I get 2-3 magical hours with her. It reminds me of falling in love with her. When I told her that I loved her, she smiled, laughed and said “that’s because I’m magic.” I still remember this each day when she smiles at me.

Nothing in life prepared me for how challenging this has been. I am acutely aware that I couldn’t make it without the friends and family in our various communities. I truly appreciate all the support we’ve received in this long journey and I appreciate any donations that folks can give.

Mara’s brother, Daniel, is here helping me care for her and to make arrangements for this next phase. He spent time with Mara last week and wrote the beautiful love story below that we wanted to share. It was inspired by our three voices:

From Daniel, Mara's Brother:

For those of you with short attention spans, here’s a summary:

Mara got cancer. Mara fought cancer. Mara fought cancer longer than they said she would. Very Mara. Cancer is now fighting Mara. Cancer is going to win. Which sucks.

Along the way, the fight has drained resources of all varieties: emotional, physical, and financial. The financial drain is the hardest to reset and refresh, so we’re asking for help to reset those pesky numbers that have added up over time. Oh, and Mara is awesome. So, that too. Yeah, lots of that.

Longer, more verbose…(think Garrison Keillor without the prairie home companion)

Last week, as I was standing at the sink cleaning the day’s dishes, Theron said, “The thing everyone says about Mara is, ‘Oh, you have to meet Mara! You’re gonna’ love her’ That’s just how the world sees her.” And he’s not wrong. In fact, I believe he’s been blessed to be the partner of one of the most incredible women I’ve had the pleasure of meeting in my lifetime. That’s coming as her brother, who grew up alongside a pesky sister constantly following me around and copying everything I did. But, over the years, at some unknown point in time I found myself bragging to anyone standing still long enough, “You should meet my sister. She’s amazing!” I don’t know when my view of her shifted, or when my perception went from, ‘pesky’ to, ‘when I grow up I hope I’m half as smart and cool as she is’, but it happened. The universe had a need for someone like her, and when the phone rang, she answered by simply saying, “Hi. I’m Mara. Welcome. I’m glad you’re here.” After that, the universe just got out of the way and just let her run the show.

Mara wishes she had more time for new introductions, lighthearted conversations, raucous laughter, deep dives into difficult ideas…more time for enthralling stories, and exploring a new and unfamiliar love she discovered with Theron, and hugs, lots of hugs, and smiles, but the universe needs her for another assignment. Her interview here on Earth is wrapping up, and she’s got the job, but she’s still waiting to review the full benefits package, which rumor has it, is pretty solid.

And, while she’s waiting on that final paperwork to show up, she’s here, in the now, with us, with you, and with her son, and with Theron. Theron, a “surprise she wasn’t expecting,” which is kind of the way ‘surprises’ work my darling sister, otherwise, we’d already have a seat reserved for the movie of our life, with as much popcorn as we can consume. He did change her, and I know that sounds a little corny, but sometimes life imitates greeting cards. She told me one recent afternoon, how, the love she “was looking for, was not the love she actually sought, and did not realize at first what Theron was bringing to the table,” but once she did, “it made sense, and it felt right, and it felt energized, and she felt like she could finally be herself. Her full self. Untethered. Supported. Encouraged.”

When she was talking about this I was reminded of a book our hippie parents used to read to us as children called, “The Missing Piece Meets the Big O.” A book espousing the idea that love doesn’t complete us, in the classic sense, but rather, opens uncharted growth opportunities allowing us to explore new ways to fully become our true selves. Theron provided the space and Mara allowed herself to open fully to this new experience he brought to the table, and “it has been one of the most rewarding adventures” of her life.

Which all sounds a lot like more corny Hollywood love propaganda, until I’m talking to Theron this past week about how scary this all is, and how amazing it is to see him wrapping my sister in love, and support, and understanding, protecting her, and encouraging her every day. Literally partnering with her on every aspect of her slow walk towards whatever awaits us all on the other side of the veil. We know how this particular story ends, and how shitty we feel about it, and yet he refuses to back down. He refuses to step away, or even look away. Pain. Loss. Longing. Love. Powerless to change the outcome, he stays at Mara’s side, growing through all of this with her. Unwavering. Knowing how this all plays out, he holds her hand, and gives her little kisses on her forehead, as he banks every emotional moment like currency. He’s going to lose his love, and in the midst of that ‘knowing,’ he’s holding space for her to be nothing short of her full self every minute of every hour of every day. It’s incredible.

Theron has only known Mara with cancer, even if neither of them realized it during the first six months of dating. Think about that for a few seconds…

He knew early on what he was walking into, and he didn’t hesitate, or balk for having that knowledge in his hands. Now, my sister can be stubborn at times, and in this instance was a little slow to accept this new version of Theron-style love. To be honest, if you know Mara, you’ve encountered this personality trait more than once. But it doesn’t deter us, and it doesn’t slow us down, because even her stubbornness is delivered with intention, growth, and support. I mean, it’s Mara we’re talking about here. She’s supporting us in ways we’re not immediately aware of, even when she’s disagreeing with us.

While eating lunch at Mara’s last week, I discovered an amazing daily reminder at the bottom of her soup bowls, which reads, “In this food I see clearly the presence of the entire universe supporting my existence.” A remarkable statement in and of itself, but you swap out one word, just one, and the message becomes Mara’s life philosophy, dare I say goal. You replace “food” with “person” and the entire phrase takes on a much larger meaning. Mara isn’t gathering people around her to support her existence. People gather around Mara because she supports their existence in the universe. She sees people as their greatest selves and allows them to see a reflection of who they might be in her eyes, and her presence in their life. She sees people, connects with them, and creates a loving and supportive space which allows us to explore being our full selves, and the universe is stronger for it.

When I asked Mara about how all of this has ‘changed’ her, she said, “My transformation is not about talking about my experiences during the cancer, but how my entire life has been transforming me as it progressed. If you pay attention, you will notice your life transforming you, one conversation at a time, one connection at a time, one new experience at a time. The space to be your full self is there, in those moments, if you want it. If you’re ready for it.”

Theron says, “Mara is magic.” Mara says, “Together we created magic.”

Of course Mara says, “together we,” because, let’s face it, that’s Mara, and the universe, but mostly Mara. And it’s how we will continue to see her, especially when we say, “Oh, I wish you had met Mara. You would have loved her…”