Mauled Irony in the Valley

On June 2, at approx. 545pm I was ficiously attacked by two Dogo Argentinos. I arrived at my friend's house to drop off items I'd helped her pick up from auction earlier in the day, feed her dogs, and use the restroom. She'd just told me, 10 minutes prior to arriving, that her dogs had bit the pool boy weeks prior to this day. That the pool boy was running into roadblocks with her landlord's homeowners insurance, in making a claim. She and I joked about not being able to "bleed a turnip."  We were just going to make it quick at her house but to prevent any problems with her dogs she'd introduce me to them. We walked through a posterior gate, she opened the front door, dogs came barreling out to greet her and I. Both dogs though they jumped on me with excitement both dogs generally acted happy and non aggressive. I made some comment about "all dogs liking me" and she said she need to use the restroom and I went back to the truck to grab the dog food and other items we'd procured earlier. With the dog food braced in my left arm, I walked back thru the gate and almost immediately both dogs came barreling towards me, except this time the female bit my left forearm and held on as she swung her head side to side, in attempt to tear my flesh. A split second later the male came barreling out, bit my right upper arm twice in attempt to disable my ability to prior the female off the other arm. I attempted to kick him to keep him away from biting my arm again, but instead of my kick connecting he bit and held my left calf. This knocked me to the ground where they dragged me by my left arm and leg inside th!!

 foyer/ formal dining room. Things get very blurry from here but I know at some point my friend heard my screams and came out. She was able to get the girl to separate and put her somewhere then ran back to retrieve the male. The male wasn't as easy to detach from me. When she got him to release my leg so I could jump up and run, just as I moved towards the door he bit my droopy bun and hanked,  partially removing my scalp from my skull. This drop me to my knees again and as I hit my knees he yanked one more time and it pulled the flesh from my skull entirely. My hair and scalp was only attached by about a 2 inch flap on the back of my neck. The next thing I remember is looking over and seeing my friend having her legs wrapped around her dog and the dog in a Chokehold and her yelling run. Which I looked at my leg and thought to myself how the f*** am I going to run I can see the bone poking through the side of my leg. I then put my hand on the back of my head and realize that all I was feeling was my skull and I was bleeding profusely so I dragged my bad leg behind me and ran out the door. I didn't close the door behind me because I heard her yelling at the dog as if she accidentally Let It Go either way she got it back and put it outside or somewhere I'm not sure. Paramedics arrived shortly after but as I lay there on the concrete Bleeding Out I watched her neighbors watch me. I screamed for them to call 911 and one of them actually just turned their back. As a pool of blood got bigger I thought to myself I will never be anybody that turns their back on a person they need.

I was asked to redo the GoFundMe story so that it included less of me asking for charity and more of what actually happened during the attack. So this is my attempt to convey the actual account of what happened. From the time we got to the house until the ambulance got there it was approximately 30 minutes which means that approximately 18 of those minutes were used fighting off dogs. 

Quick update on how I am 17 days after the attack, seven surgeries, and about a million dollars worth of leeches. I am getting better everyday and stronger. My my scalp reattached almost completely there is one spot that I may still need a skin graft. But my hair is starting to grow back. To those of you who sent me, bought me and dropped off wigs thank you so much. As much as I would like to wear them I am afraid of sweating and creating a fungal infection in a open environment so I have yet to wear any out and about. My daughter is so here with me recovering as she has been since day one. After 9 days in ICU I was released and right now have a private care attendant and nurse that come in and attend to me daily in a private setting. And though this is been a great expense it's been worth it being able to have my family and friends around me helping me recover. This would not have been possible if it wasn't for the generosity of all of you that have donated on GoFundMe. The kindness and compassion I was shown to by Fox 10 and Linda Williams and all the dedicated and gorgeous staff of the ICU and Trauma department at Banner Desert in Mesa I thank you all!