Max Kraus Memorial Fund
The moments when really awful things become true for really incredible people are the absolute worst. There will be a lot of people who feel really confused about the ending of Max Kraus’ life. Most people knew him as an outgoing, funny, master-networking, hard working, joy of a man to be around. Max was a loyal friend, a die hard lover of his beautiful wife (Kelsi), and a head over heels sucker for his 5-year old daughter (Marli). Max’s larger than life personality shined like the sun every time he flashed that ridiculously charming smile.
Sometimes the tide just turns.
Max battled mental health struggles. Some really hard things happened in his childhood. The deep wounds manifested in his early adulthood as symptoms of anxiety. As we all do when we get out of alignment, Max looked for ways to remember how to feel like himself again. He turned to the medical community for help and was guided to utilize benzodiazepines. Max followed his doctor's directions and used the medicine as prescribed, daily for more than 10 years. He trusted his doctors and did what they advised. He had no idea of the dangers of daily, long-term use of benzos.
In early 2018, Max decided he wanted to clean his system out and be done with psychopharmaceuticals. He began to understand that holistic healing can’t actually happen when something is masking the symptoms. After coming off the medications, Max felt better for a while. The anxiety returned, which wasn’t surprising, but Max was ready to take on that battle for the sake of healing. The years of benzo use, however, had taken its toll on Max’s biological, neurological, and physiological systems. Within months, he started developing new symptoms. Debilitating headaches, warped vision, neuropathy, digestive issues, tremors, insomnia, racing heart, fear, suicidal thoughts and a plethora of other awful symptoms made any level of normal functioning impossible by summer 2019.
For this past year, Kelsi, Max and Marli have travelled and searched far and wide for people, places and facilities who could help. They sought out and employed the services of medical practitioners, energy workers, functional wellness clinicians, psychiatrists, psychologists, neurologists, dietitians… any angle that could potentially provide some insight and guidance. Every pursuit ended in more question marks, redirection, and professionals who wanted to help but couldn’t figure out how. Kelsi and Max were able to find and talk with a community of people who had seen and suffered from the same symptoms after long-term use of benzodiazepines… people who knew, first hand, how much torture Max was in. Unfortunately, this symptomology has not been studied and researched enough yet. We don’t know how to treat it. The rate at which benzos are over-prescribed increases every year. And even though thousands of people with the same symptoms and the same history with benzos have come forward, many western medicine practitioners deny that its real.
The realness of it, however, took Max’s livelihood away from him. His quality of life was very low. He was in constant pain beyond what most of us can wrap our heads around. And every pursuit for wellness had resulted in a dead end.
Suicide is often mistaken as a selfish act. I assure you, Max’s choice to end his life was anything but selfish. Max loved this world. He loved adventure and travel and the mountains and surfing and live music and good food and laughing. Above all else, he LOVED Kelsi and Marli with his whole heart. Max knew the lives of people he loved so much were being halted, and he knew his struggles were agonizing for his friends and family to witness. Max did not want to die. He vocalized this many times. But at the very same time, he no longer had the endurance to live.
Max had not been able to work for months and months and months. Kelsi was his primary care-taker and also could not work to earn an income. Their pursuit for medical and psychological guidance and treatments depleted their savings. Kelsi became a single, widowed mother in the blink of an eye a few days ago. I have never ever known a more bold spirit, strength of character, unwavering faith, and fierce warrior for all things LIGHT + LOVE than that of Kelsi Kraus. Sweet miss Marli is as WILD + FREE of a young human as you will ever find. They are going to get through this. And oh the story they will have to tell, and the support they will able to provide to people who will experiencing a similar journey. Beauty WILL be birthed from these ashes.
But here’s the reality… right now, as our girls rest, breathe and allow their hearts to start the healing process one tiny step at a time, they need financial support. A lot of it.
Your donation to this GoFundMe account will be direct deposited into Kelsi’s bank account so that she can use it for the mortgage payment on their house, bills, groceries, therapy services, and other life expenses as they get back on their feet.
We have also set up a 529 account for Marli, in honor of her Dad and all the incredible things he knew she is going to do in her life. These funds will support Marli’s future pursuit of education and training for whatever passions she decides to follow.
Max, we will not forget you. We will not let Marli forget you. I will see that ear-to-ear brilliant smile of yours every time I hug your wife. Thank you for how you’ve touched our lives during your time here with us. And thank you for the influence of your spirit in all the years to come from wherever you are, all around us, and on the other side of the stars. We love you.
*Donate via this page to assist with Kelsi and Marli's living expenses and healing services.
*Donate to Marli's 529 account: https://www.ugift529.com/ (You will need to enter Marli's u-Gift code: 388-S28)
Friends, it is time to round the troops, spread the word and show how powerful we can be together when we link arms in the spirit of love. Please donate what you can.
If you would like to learn more and consider insight about benzodiazepine withdrawal and the growing Benzo Crisis, this documentary episode provides a compelling perspective to consider: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9FeTnAtaCc&feature=youtu.be