In Loving Memory of My Dad

[Updated: April 15, 2024]

Final cremation service for my dad was carried out this morning. A real FINAL goodbye to my dad as I put the final white rose in the casket.

It was really a traumatic moment to press the button to lower the casket down for cremation. This image would never be erased from my mind.

Thank you everyone for attending the funeral services yesterday. I felt warm to see so many ex colleagues showing up. A heartfelt thank you for everyone who donated and made the effort to pay the last respect to my dad.

Good Goodbye by Linkin Park sums up all my feeling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW44aPjOMvI

[Updated: April 14, 2024]

Today is the day of my dad's funeral services. I am going to bid farewell to an incredible man with an incredible influence in my life.

Dad, thank you for being a dad that no one else could ask for. You worked tirelessly to support me through my entire life, with education abroad in the United States, allowing me indulge and create my own path in life. I still vividly remember that we exchange snail mails frequently when I was at North Carolina, when long distance call was pricy. I wish I had kept all the letters. I still remember the job of getting each letter from the mail box each day. Your every single word of encouragement, your support with me in me to go through the ups and downs. Even though you went through a lot during the last stage of your career, you never stopped your love and support to me. You were a man of few words but your love transpired through every action and gesture that you did to me. I could have never asked for anything better in life. You are my role model, my hero, and most important, I hope I meet your expectations of what you wanted me turn out to be. I would not have picked another dad even if I were to give the choice. You were willing to drop everything to fly to support me when I needed most. I hope I did manage to learn from you to be a person of determination, caring, and always taking care of others.

Rest Well Now. We shall meet again in Heaven with you and mum.

Love,

Your Son

[Updated: April 13, 2024]

With only less than 2 days to go, I stared having dreams and sinking into the reality that I am the only one left behind. My two pillars who had been supporting me all my life has finally been gone. I can't fathom how I would the moment that I have to press the button to send my dad's casket for cremation. It's like living the same nightmare 12 years ago when my mum died.

Losing a parent is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone, so losing both can leave a child with very little optimism in life.

Just less than US$800 to cross over the US$20,000 mark.

Any contribution, no matter how small, is greatly appreciated.

[Updated: April 11, 2024]

3 Days to Go. Emotions all rushing back. Work can't numb me anymore. Just less than $1,000 to cross over the $20,000 mark.

Any contribution, no matter how small, is greatly appreciated.

[Updated: April 10, 2024]

4 Days Left. Help me push through the US$20,000 mark. It's almost there.

Any contribution, no matter how small, is greatly appreciated.

[Update: April 9, 2024]

The funeral is only 5 days away but for some reason, I feel numb but not sad these few days. Maybe too many things happening. Last week to drive donations to my dad and to the Hong Kong Alzheimer's Association.

Any contribution, no matter how small, is greatly appreciated.

[Updated: April 6, 2024]

Thank you for considering supporting my father's funeral expenses. We are extending the fundraising for another week before his funeral next Sunday and Monday afternoon.

Any contribution, no matter how small, is greatly appreciated.

[Updated: April 5, 2024]

Tried to wrap myself around with work today after trying to work out how to handle my dad's funeral details and his estate. Somehow, I am getting better today and trying to make peace with the passing of my dad.

Feel free to make any donations to support my dad's funeral expenses and support the research on dementia.

Any donations made after deducting my dad's expenses will be sent to Hong Kong Alzheimer's Disease Association 香港認知障礙症協會.

[Updated: April 4, 2024]

Today, I just feel crashing down and doing nothing. Time to get some ME time to regroup myself.

[Updated: April 3, 2024]

Finally picked up my dad’s body from the hospital and sent him to the funeral home this morning. Everything seems so surreal and moving so quick for me to digest and process.

Feel free to donate any small amount, us$5 or so as a token to my dad. 

[Updated: April 2, 2024]

Dad’s funeral service is confirmed to be on April 14, 2024 (Sunday) at Po Fuk Funeral Home in Tai Wai. (大圍寶福殯儀館）

One last time to bid farewell to an extraordinary man, an extraordinary father.

Feel feel to donate any amount as you would like. 

[Updated: April 1, 2024)

I am tired solving everyone’s problem. Who is going to solve mine?

Feel free to donate any amount for emotional and financial support. Much appreciated.

[Updated: March 31, 2024]

Got the funeral services tentatively arranged for mid April. Will confirm the exact date on Tue by the funeral home. I went to my dad’s apartment yesterday to pack up his belongings. It’s cloudy and rainy today and the streets are empty. I feel so lonely.

If you can share and donate any amount, it will help as I will find out what the additional funeral cost will be like. 

 Thank you again for everyone that has already donation. It means more than just monetary support but an emotional support to me that I feel like that I am not alone in this world.

[Updated: March 30, 2024]

After staying at home for 2 days, I managed to crawl myself out of the apartment to try to run some errands and get a bit of fresh air. This afternoon I will go to the funeral home to arrange the funeral services, picking up the casket and alike. One step closer to sort out his funeral , one step further away from dad. It's really a mix bag of feelings that words cannot describe.

[Updated: March 28, 2024]

I am trying to distract myself not to think about dad for 2 days (Wednesday and Thursday) but when I slowed down at night, I couldn't control myself but to think about the hard work and sweat that my dad went through to put me through college and the unspoken care that he continuously provided to me.

My sister went to get the official death certificate today while I was busy making inquiries on funeral arrangements. I feel like a flash back appearing right in front of me just like what happened almost 12 years ago, when my beloved mum passed away.

Somehow, I feel like that my mission to return to Hong Kong to be with my mum and dad has completed. I feel like I am an orphan left in the world without any support system (other than God) and I turned around and no one was around except my dog, Milos.

I am going to have another hard fall financially within a short period of time for the funeral services.

I pledge that if you can help spread this message and drive some more donations of any amount, I would truly appreciated it.

[March 27, 2024]

親愛的爸爸離開了⚰️。趕也不及見最後一面。

My dad has just passed away at 3:40a.m. on March 27, 2024. It’s such a shame that I could not see him before his passing. I rushed to the hospital but it’s too late.

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It is with a heavy heart that I announce the passing of my beloved father. He fought a brave battle against Influenza A and Pneumonia in the past four weeks.

Despite growing up in a poor village in China, my dad was determined to succeed and earned his Bachelor's degree in Chemistry from the capital of his state. He then fled to Hong Kong in the 60s and worked his way up from a factory worker to a salesman, fluent in Mandarin, Japanese, and Russian, and conversational in German.

He always put his family first and went to work even when he was unwell. He instilled in me the values of perseverance and empathy, teaching them to never give up and to be kind to others, regardless of how you are treated.

I fondly remembers her father's unwavering support for my life choices, including my own decision to pursue higher education in the US. I promise to honor his legacy by striving to be the best version of himself.

Dad, I will be okay and will try my best to make you proud. It’s time for your to pass the baton.

It’s time for you to meet mum and leave this world and take a good rest.

======

Please help donate to his medical expenses and the upcoming funeral expenses.

[Updated: March 23,2024]

Doctor said it’s about time and it could happen any time that my Dad leaves this chaotic world.

Any amount of donations are welcome to tackle the medical expenses. 

Feel free to share if you can.

[Updated: March 22, 2024]

Too tired and exhausted to write any update. Dad's condition has no change.

Any donations of US$5 and $10 welcome.

[Updated: March 21, 2024]

Today is the day that the doctor tells you that daddy can leave at any moment.

Last effort to drive the fundraising for my dad and next expense that I don’t want to see will be coming up anytime.

[Updated March 20, 2024]

I am feeling too exhausted to go see my father, so my sister has taken on the responsibilities. Unfortunately, there has been no improvement in my father's condition. I wish I had some positive news to share, but I just want my father to stop suffering. It's painful for me, but sometimes it's best to accept the situation.

We are currently settling his bills and continuing to pay for his nursing home bed. We are holding onto his nursing home bed just in case a miracle happens.

Any donation, whether it's $5, $10, or any amount, would be greatly appreciated. Please consider sharing this with your friends and colleagues.

Let's remain hopeful that tomorrow will bring better circumstances.

[Updated March 18, 2024]

I visited my father once more today, but unfortunately, there hasn't been much improvement. The doctor has recommended another Chest X-Ray and blood tests to identify the source of the infections. He is still receiving antibiotics, potassium fluid, and oxygen. I will return tomorrow to check for any updates following the X-Ray.

We are currently being mindful of medical expenses as the bills have been quite high, so we have reduced spending on non-essential items to manage costs.

Any donation, regardless of the amount ($5 or $10), would be greatly appreciated during this difficult period.

A friendly reminder to everyone: please consider purchasing life and health insurance, as you may regret not having it in times of need.

[Update March 17, 2024]

There has been no significant improvement in my dad's condition today. He continues to be unresponsive most of the time. His oxygen levels have been increased to 4 to assist with his breathing. Additionally, his potassium levels remain very low, requiring concentrated potassium fluid to be added to his IV. Tomorrow, the doctor will conduct more tests to determine the cause of his recurring infection. We have been advised to be prepared for the worst at any moment. I sincerely wish I could do more to ensure his remaining time is as comfortable as possible.

It has been an exhausting week with my dad's declining health, the financial burden of his medical bills, a major car accident, and numerous work-related challenges.

[Update: March 15, 2024]

Today, I was feeling too exhausted to visit my dad, so my sister stepped in to take my place. We've made the decision to transfer my dad back to the Public Hospital for Palliative care to alleviate the burden of the increasing medical expenses.

Currently, we are in the process of settling the outstanding bill for this week. Any contribution, no matter how small - even $5 or $10, would be immensely appreciated.

I want to express my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has donated. Your generosity means the world to me.

[Updated: March 14, 2024]

On this afternoon, we officially agreed to opt for palliative care for my father. I had a conversation with him today, asking whether he would prefer to stay with me or reunite with our mother. For a brief moment, he was clear-minded enough to express his desire to go and meet our mother.

Considering the accumulating hospital expenses, we would sincerely appreciate any form of donation. Your generosity would mean a great deal to us.

[Updated March 12, 2024]

Today couldn't get any worse. As I hurried to the hospital to visit my dad, my mind wandered and I accidentally drove my car into a row of rails on the sidewalk. The car is completely wrecked, leaving me immobile and making it even more challenging to juggle between home, work, and the hospital. I can't help but wonder what I did to deserve this unfortunate turn of events.

I feel utterly drained and exhausted, wishing I had more strength to appear cheerful in front of my dad.

The mounting medical expenses, coupled with the fact that my dad doesn't have insurance, are making each day increasingly difficult.

If you're able to offer any financial or emotional support, please consider clicking on the link below to contribute whatever you can or send me a message of encouragement. Your help would be greatly appreciated!

[Updated March 11, 2024]

Another day has passed without any improvement. The speech therapist conducted another assessment today, revealing that my father has lost his reflex skills and is unable to swallow. A difficult decision awaits us on Thursday regarding the necessity of a feeding tube. Despite his current pain, the choice ahead is a challenging one. The impact of our decision on my father's well-being cannot be underestimated. I am trying to ignore the fact that the countdown has begun.

Any form of financial or emotional support would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you all.

[Updated March 10, 2024]

It has been a difficult weekend as my dad's condition hasn't shown any signs of improvement. He still requires constant assistance from the nurses to clear the mucus in his throat as he is unable to have any reflex action. To add to our worries, we discovered tonight that he had an allergic reaction and developed rashes all over his body and face. We are truly grateful for your financial help and support as we continue to strive for the best medical care for him.

[March 9, 2024]

I am Antony, and I wanted to reach out to all of you. It is not often that I openly ask for assistance and prayers, but unfortunately, I find myself facing yet another challenge in life. Since my mother's passing in 2014, my father, who is now in the end stage of dementia, has been admitted to the hospital due to influenza A. Regrettably, his condition is not looking promising, and we are doing everything we can to provide him with palliative care and ensure his remaining time is as comfortable as possible.

Given the exorbitant medical expenses required to provide him with the best care in his current condition, I am humbly seeking any form of support, be it financial or through prayers, as we navigate through this incredibly difficult period.

My father has been an extraordinary presence in my life. He has taught me invaluable lessons about perseverance and how to endure hardships. Despite his modest income as a salesman, he used his savings to enable me to pursue my dream of completing my undergraduate studies at the University of North Carolina. I am well aware that this was no easy feat, but he never gave up on me.