Medical leave and expenses for single Dad of two

Hi, my name is Jeremy Federman. I am the single Dad of two amazing young sons. We currently live in North Stonington, CT. I am an audiologist who works for the federal government and specializes in auditory injury prevention research. Every day, I do my best to serve active-duty Sailors, Marines, Soldiers, and Airmen, and I work very hard to protect them from occupational hazards. I love my work (I have even received awards for it), and I have a fantastic team of professionals with whom I work and collaborate. But honestly, my favorite job is being Dad to my two sons! From the day each was born, we’ve been inseparable, and I love them with every cell in my body! I’ve coached them in Little League, and taught them to throw and catch a football, mop a floor, and how to use woodworking tools. I have tutored them in math, language, and science. I have instructed them how to play instruments and sing (I used to be a professional musician before I became an audiologist!). I have mentored them to be critical thinkers and even how to bake bread from scratch. So, what is this Go Fund Me all about?

Last year, in April 2021, I was diagnosed with liposarcoma, which is a rare cancer type. Only a couple of thousand people in the US are diagnosed each year with the type I have. In August 2021, I underwent chemotherapy and radical surgery. After being discharged a couple of weeks after surgery, I went downhill and, after being readmitted and treated through an additional surgical procedure, my doctors discovered that I also had a life-threatening tick-borne disease. Ten long months of standard and experimental treatment later, and I finally beat it! Through all of it, I had support from many of you in a myriad of ways including coming to the house in the middle of the night to stay with the boys when I had to be admitted unexpectedly to the hospital, keeping the house clean, making meals, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, phone calls, cards, and letters to bolster my spirits, and so many other things that I cannot list them all.

About a month after my last hospitalization, I began working full-time again, although the end of my tick illness treatment was just a couple of months ago. Since then, my bloodwork has normalized, and after all the treatments, we hoped that I would be free of cancer for the rest of my life. As I improved, my boys and I started to get back to normal, and we readied for the new school year. Over time, I gained about 35 of the 65 lbs. of weight I had lost from chemo and treatment and began exercising rigorously again. I had cancer-free scans twice. I have been able to do all the daily things like mow the lawn, make all our meals from scratch again, do laundry, go bowling, etc. You know, life. I even started to wonder whether I could potentially resume long-distance running, kayaking, and other activities we enjoyed before my illness.

My boys are doing great, by the way. Despite going through a global pandemic, divorce, the death of my father and my back-to-back illnesses all in the past two years, this year both boys are doing great in school and, so far, are participating in drama club and band and making a ton of new friends! I couldn’t be prouder! In addition to being diligent workers in school, they are kind, loving, and generous kids who are best buddies to each other and the best sons a man could ask for! Things were finally getting back to normal.

Then, last week, I had a scan that showed the cancer had returned. I am told my body hasn’t fully healed and that we need to try and buy time before the next surgery. My surgeon referred me to a medical oncologist who recommended a new FDA clinical trial combining two chemotherapy drugs with an immunotherapy drug to see if the three medicines will synergistically affect sarcomas. The study’s protocol requires 18 weeks of chemo and immunotherapy, which is a lot. Last year, I had months of sick leave built up from 10 years of not being sick, plus added vacation leave. I used virtually all of it last year during my three hospital stays. I weathered the $320,000 bill with good insurance, and thankfully the out-of-pocket expenses didn’t bankrupt me. Currently, however, my leave and monetary reserves are very low. The clinical trial will require me to travel to NY weekly for the study tests, drug treatments, and procedures. Also, it is likely that more components of the treatment will not be covered by insurance as they are experimental. My primary hope is that the treatment will work and I will survive long enough to get these two amazing young boys to adulthood. I know it is a modest goal, but it is what I pray for each day.

Folks, I need your help. I need your help to reach this goal. Like any parent, I want to support my boys through life’s trials and tribulations. I dream of seeing them shine on the field, on the stage, and in the classroom. I want to teach them to tie a necktie, drive a car (well, maybe not that!), and help them prepare for a school dance. I want to support them through their first heartache. I want to watch them do spelling bees, graduate high school, and move to adulthood. Their personalities are just starting to emerge fully, and they are so full of promise I am desperate to see who they will become as young men! And along the way, I want to be there to support them, laugh with them, cheer for them, and cry with them through the ups and downs of all of it!

Those who know me best know I’m not good at asking for help, but I know I must. For the sake of my kids, I know I can’t give up! I know I need to fight for my life and survive again to keep our little family together. There is no other choice.

Any help you can provide is welcomed. Any help at all will make a difference. We will need monetary gifts to cover medical costs and travel expenses to NY for treatment to someone to plow us out when it snows. We will need prepared meals for when I cannot prepare them. We need prayers and words of encouragement. And everything in between. To my friends and colleagues who also work for the federal government, know that I am enrolled in the leave donation program. So, if you have any leave left that you can spare, any donated amount will help ensure I can make all the medical appointments and allow me time off when I have those down days from chemotherapy and other treatments.

So… I have been genuinely humbled by the care, love, kindness, and support you have shown my sons and me over the past two years. You showed up. You carried us through it. I wish I didn’t have to call on you again. I am just thankful you are here to have our backs. I can only thank you all for how you have loved and cared for our little family. God bless all of you near and far, new friends and old friends, neighbors and colleagues, teachers, students, and mentors! We love you, and we thank you…!