Memorial Fund for Vi 'Tony' Nguyen's Family

Hi, my name is Cissy Ly and I am the cousin of Vinh 'Tony' Nguyen (he/they), or as they recently shared with some of the world, Vi 'Tony' Nguyen (she/her).

Depending on what part of my cousin's journey you met them at is how you refer to them.

Growing up, my family and I called them 'Tony' (he/him) or simply 'Ny' for short...

most of their classmates from school know them as 'Vinh' (he/they)...

and everyone at their workplace, along with a select few, knew them as 'Vi' (she/her).

When I asked her what her goals were for 2025, she reiterated that it was to save money for a home for her family and to be able to come out fully as a trans woman.

Whether or not me outing her to our family on the hospital bed was moral or not is a legitimate concern. I believe she saw me as her advocate and I also believe that she would want her story and truth to be out in the world despite the tragic circumstances that kept her from telling it on her own.

On Monday, December 9th, her life was suddenly cut short. The definitive cause of death has not yet been determined and we are currently in the process of filing a civil lawsuit to find out what the cause of death was.

We ask that you respect our family's privacy regarding the details of their death at this time.

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My cousin brought an immense amount of joy to our family, their friends, and their colleagues.

Below are some passages that have been written about Vi aka 'Cousin Vinny' that describe how incredibly brilliant, loved, and loving they were.

"A Tribute to Cousin Vinny"

Ernesto A. Holder

In the middle of 2016, my youngest son visited us for a few days with three friends eager to learn about their friend’s country and explore its wonders. The four of them met in the fall of 2012 at an event for young professionals in New York to establish new connections in the city. At that time, they had all just graduated from university in different fields. Over time, they became inseparable friends and have since supported each other in their aspirations to develop, grow, and shape their personal and professional dreams. We gave one of them, in particular, the nickname “Cousin Vinny” for his attachment from the very first moment as a member of the family.

Cousin Vinny was the child of a Vietnamese couple who, years after the end of the Vietnam War, emigrated to the United States seeking better opportunities. His family didn’t talk much about the war; “…the Vietnam War or the U.S. war in Vietnam,” as Vinny wrote in a social media post.

Being the youngest of many siblings led the rest of his family to make sacrifices so that he could have the best childhood and education possible, given his natural intelligence and remarkable academic performance.

A few years ago, Cousin Vinny reflected on social media about his father: “…although I know he is proud of me and I don’t want to discredit my own hard work, when I think about how the educational opportunities I’ve had in life are possible because he had to give up his own, it’s hard not to cry a little.” (…) “Hard work and talent can only get you so far in life. You also need opportunities. Or maybe you need luck. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference between the two.”

Cousin Vinny graduated with two bachelor’s degrees and worked as an analyst and software programmer in multiple organizations.

In 2016, Cousin Vinny was accepted to one of the most prestigious universities in the world and began a PhD in Education Policy. His greatest dream, repeated many times to his loved ones, was the opportunity to buy a house for his parents. In 2022, he returned to his parents’ home and worked from there with the goal of saving up to fulfill that dream.

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His goal was to dedicate himself to higher education with a transformative vision for generations growing up in a social state of challenges and difficult circumstances. According to his friends, he was always positively disposed to help in any way he could and, I reiterate once again, in conversations and gatherings, his greatest desire was to fulfill that dream of buying a house for his parents and repaying them and his older siblings with gratitude… Gratitude for the sacrifice he believed they made out of love for his well-being.

This article is a tribute to the memory of Cousin Vinny, so that his memory may stand out. I am very critical of the exaggerated glorification of people after they have passed, especially when, in the light of public reality and the shadow of private life, they don’t deserve it. Cousin Vinny, however, was an extraordinary human being.

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The costs for their memorial services and hospital bills will be considerable. Beyond that, it would be so nice for us to continue to care for Vi by helping in what mattered most to them, something Vi will no longer be able to do: take care of their family.

Please contribute what you can and we ask you to please share your favorite memory of or with Vi in the comments.

Using whatever named and pronouns you knew them by is welcomed.

If you’d still like to contribute directly to our family, the information is as follows:

Vi’s sister Ngoc's Venmo: @Ngoc-Lai-3

Vi's cousin Cissy's Venmo: @BarbAllenFilm