Mom passed and dad couldn't be with her!
Donation protected
This has been a tough spring...toughest in many of our lives.
In March my mom passed out and wouldn't wake up. After time in the hospital and physical therapy, 5 weeks later, she could no longer walk due to Parkinson's, and went into in-home hospice care. After all that time taking care of my mom, my dad realized he wasn't feeling well. After a trip to urgent care, we found out he had a quarter-sized ulcer that was dumping stomach fluid into his abdomen for well over a week. He was in surgery within a few hours and in septic shock. Long story short, 3 surgeries and a heart attack later, after 23 days in the hospital, he's in rehab trying to eat food again but still on tube-feed. There's probably another surgery in his future and he's still on a cath. We're just trying to get him back to food and on his feet. He's recovering mentally and physically, but being tube fed is a life changer.
While he was at the hospital, we placed my mom at the Ray Hickey Hospice House to keep her comfortable for a few days while we focused on dad and his surgeries. But she took a turn for the worst while there and within a week, the Parkinson's took over. She could no longer eat or drink, and with her advanced directive, tube feeding was not an option. After a week, her Parkinson's fully had control and we knew she was going to pass soon. She couldn't eat or drink and her days were numbered. And they couldn't be together in her last hours. After 43 years of marriage, they needed to see each other one more time. I begged the staff at PeaceHealth Vancouver to find an answer. Some way to get them together one last time before she passed. They'd been apart for 3 weeks already and her end was coming. The caring, driven people involved at PeaceHealth made it happen! My dad and his tubes were on a transport van by that afternoon and got to spend a few hours with his loving wife, my mom. He held her hand, whispered to her and told her how much he loved her and how much he'd miss her. And then told her it was ok to go. She could be at peace and he'd meet her later when his time came. We had to return him to the hospital with tears in his eyes.
In a few days, he was transferred to a physical rehab place because he was doing better, and within 2 days of that progress, she passed away at 2am on May 15th. I lost a mom at 69 and he lost a wife of 43 years.
He is still in rehab and being the power of attorney, I've realized that he can't go home. We'll need to sell the house to support his medical needs and cover their debt. But the other day, I got the bill from Ray Hickey. It was $6825 to keep my mom comfortable for those last days. It was well worth it for the final care given, but my dad really can't afford it. He's past his 20 days in rehab so medicare is now only covering 80%. So it's now costing him $170 a day to stay in his skilled nursing facility. He needs the care but will barely afford it with what's left in home equity.
So what I'm asking for, is help to pay the Ray Hickey Hospice bill. Hospice deserves every penny, but that just takes away from what's left to support him. It's a tough spot. And with so much going on, I still haven't had a calm moment to cry for my mom.
We don't know where he'll live when he's done at rehab, but there are options! He won't be alone and will always be loved. Anything would help us through this challenge however, and all donations will be greatly appreciated!
In March my mom passed out and wouldn't wake up. After time in the hospital and physical therapy, 5 weeks later, she could no longer walk due to Parkinson's, and went into in-home hospice care. After all that time taking care of my mom, my dad realized he wasn't feeling well. After a trip to urgent care, we found out he had a quarter-sized ulcer that was dumping stomach fluid into his abdomen for well over a week. He was in surgery within a few hours and in septic shock. Long story short, 3 surgeries and a heart attack later, after 23 days in the hospital, he's in rehab trying to eat food again but still on tube-feed. There's probably another surgery in his future and he's still on a cath. We're just trying to get him back to food and on his feet. He's recovering mentally and physically, but being tube fed is a life changer.
While he was at the hospital, we placed my mom at the Ray Hickey Hospice House to keep her comfortable for a few days while we focused on dad and his surgeries. But she took a turn for the worst while there and within a week, the Parkinson's took over. She could no longer eat or drink, and with her advanced directive, tube feeding was not an option. After a week, her Parkinson's fully had control and we knew she was going to pass soon. She couldn't eat or drink and her days were numbered. And they couldn't be together in her last hours. After 43 years of marriage, they needed to see each other one more time. I begged the staff at PeaceHealth Vancouver to find an answer. Some way to get them together one last time before she passed. They'd been apart for 3 weeks already and her end was coming. The caring, driven people involved at PeaceHealth made it happen! My dad and his tubes were on a transport van by that afternoon and got to spend a few hours with his loving wife, my mom. He held her hand, whispered to her and told her how much he loved her and how much he'd miss her. And then told her it was ok to go. She could be at peace and he'd meet her later when his time came. We had to return him to the hospital with tears in his eyes.
In a few days, he was transferred to a physical rehab place because he was doing better, and within 2 days of that progress, she passed away at 2am on May 15th. I lost a mom at 69 and he lost a wife of 43 years.
He is still in rehab and being the power of attorney, I've realized that he can't go home. We'll need to sell the house to support his medical needs and cover their debt. But the other day, I got the bill from Ray Hickey. It was $6825 to keep my mom comfortable for those last days. It was well worth it for the final care given, but my dad really can't afford it. He's past his 20 days in rehab so medicare is now only covering 80%. So it's now costing him $170 a day to stay in his skilled nursing facility. He needs the care but will barely afford it with what's left in home equity.
So what I'm asking for, is help to pay the Ray Hickey Hospice bill. Hospice deserves every penny, but that just takes away from what's left to support him. It's a tough spot. And with so much going on, I still haven't had a calm moment to cry for my mom.
We don't know where he'll live when he's done at rehab, but there are options! He won't be alone and will always be loved. Anything would help us through this challenge however, and all donations will be greatly appreciated!
Organizer
Steven Lawson
Organizer
Vancouver, WA