Mother of 4 with broken back needs in home help.

My husband Jamil is currently deployed, just as he was leaving we found out my back was fractured in 3 places.

I had been living in pain for months thinking it eventually would pass. I believed it was just sciatica. Then the pain became so bad i went in. I was told i have anthiolosesis, spondylothesis, herniated disc ontop of that fact my back was broken in three places, and a damaged spinal cord.

My spine is so unstable they didn't even think that cortisone shots would work. My neurosurgeon said I need a spinal rod infusion surgery as well as two disc replacements. i was trying to put off surgery until after the deployment because of the kids, as well as financial aspect. it's because of the children, I cant risks being down. I can't schedule the surgery because i dont want to risk not having my children cared for. Despite falling apart I still have these 4 kids who still go to school, Occupational therapy, speech, and ABA daily, a whole household with two cats a dog. My oldest child is 5 and special needs, my twins are 4, one of the twins is also special needs and the opposite twin is a handful himself. then our babygirl is 1 and a half and full of energy.

Just as I was thinking life would be a bit easier financially with the extra income from deployment/family sep pay they upped the rent the EXACT amount of the extra money from deployment so we cant even try to save for a nurse. That also made it hard to even ask to have daddy come home.

At one point It was offered for him to come home, because along with my medical issues I have an open case with NCIS against a medical personnel who sexually assaulted me during an appointment. Not having Jamil is hard sure but this makes it almost impossible. Not being able to be the active mom I normally am, is harder every day. Collapsing from just walking to losing feeling in my legs just from lifting a laundry basket.

Against all these issues I'm still pushing. I see neurology, neurosurgery, ortho, pain management, and gastrointestinal surgery. I'm trying my best to get better but I guess I put myself last too long it finally took its toll.

This doesn't really cover half of my daily life. I say all this because i need to ask for help, it's hard to do that. I usually the one who helps.

But im not certain I can wait till the end of deployment in June 2023 to get the surgery but without family or my husband home I can't care for my kids. Who's gonna get groceries, load them up to and from school, therapy and doctor appointments and holiday activities? Whose gonna cook, clean, prep birthdays and plan out family days. I need help. I hate asking but I do. Desperately.

I'm hoping to be able to afford a set of hands here like in home care. I'm looking into insurance options and Respite care but for the house not covered by insurance I'd like to be assured my kids have someone and if I need help so we aren't left helpless. Anything is better than nothing. Thank you for helping and even just listening. Please 1$ or a share. I'm pulling my last straw.