Fundraiser for Burial of Jennifer Dulin
Donation protected
Jennifer’s lovely heart stopped January 6, 2021, and it’s a loss for everyone. She needs and deserves a proper funeral and memorial headstone.
Jennifer’s death was tragic, unnecessary and much too quiet. This is a brief story of her intense pain.
And my pain.
She was a beautiful person, a person who actually cared about everybody, and always let them know.
She was my teacher, and the best person I’ve known, my favorite person. I did not deserve her and she surely deserved better then me.
Beautiful, fun, funny and gregarious, a young woman with a lovely, loving heart, she accepted everybody and made everyone feel comfortable and welcome.
Her lovely, loving heart stopped beating in the early morning of January 6, 2021, and it’s a loss for everyone.
Her Intense Pain Began 2016
When Jennifer and her fiancé/college sweetheart broke up in 2015 she was broken. Then there were more losses; her best friend and cousin died of cancer, two friends of suicide, she became more despondent, she started sleeping all the time.
Then she woke up, and she was different. To me it seemed she dreamed a new existence for herself, a new life in a different world, with entirely different people. A fiancé who she knew from when she was doing extra work, Josh Radnor, and a group of friends she couldn’t find, but they would leave her signs and she was always looking for them.
Together they were trying to save the world from rebellions and natural disasters. But there were bad guys, forces working against them, who followed them, subverted them, had video and audio equipment hidden in all their homes, cars and phones, even mine. Soon she decided that if you argued against these ideas you were one of this bad guys, the enemy.
Before all this new stuff, after the deaths and the breakup, she had tried to find mental health help, and was very disappointed in the resources that were available to her. After her breakup with her attorney fiancé, she could not afford to just find a good psychiatrist and go. She got on Medicare, and tried find a doctor who both accepted Medicare and was taking new patients, not an easy task.
One was running a pyramid scheme and enlisted her help.
Another wanted her to marry him and move back to his home in Honduras.
And there are many other disturbing psychiatrist stories.
But she finally found Dr. Vicary, he was a good doctor, but because of Medicare mental health funding, she could only see him once a month.
Once A Month.
She started to believe this new fiancé, Josh Radnor, was at each of their sessions, that Dr. Vicary knew and allowed him to listen through the door in the next room. Not for any nefarious reason, but because he cared.
She didn’t see her Josh, she never saw him. She looked for him constantly. Looked for signs and messages he would send her: an orange boat on a white car; a sign.
Then Dr. Vicary had retired, she didn’t see him at all, not anymore, and could not face going through the search for another doctor.
Then, in 2018, while on one of her walks in her neighborhood in Valencia, California, there were signs, literal signs on a door: “Come In, Don’t Knock”, it was meant to allow a baby to sleep. She was sure it was a sign for her, so she walked in, they called the police, she was arrested for burglary.
A pretty little burglar all dressed up in a cute skirt, top, high heels and makeup with a tiny purse. She was all dressed up, in case she ran into Josh. Not good attire for burglaing.
She went to court every two months all of 2018, she kept having it postponed because she didn’t want to go to prison, for trespassing.
She also began to have violent outbursts, some people who rented rooms from her and Eric moved because she frightened them. While visiting me in 2018, I was standing with my hand on the kitchen counter, she took a paring knife and stabbed the countertop between each of my fingers. Then again when I was trying to get a pair of socks from the cubby above the bed, I fell down and some socks fell out. She took it as an attack and slugged me in the face a few times, I was bruised from my eye to my lip.
On December 15, 2020, she came back home to Arcata. She said it was time. There was disease coming, indeed Coronavirus was already in China. Soon natural disasters would start, and rebellion, war.
Her and I trained to fight this together, on horseback, remember!?!
“Remember Mom??? It’s time.”
But that damn arrest in Valencia, she thought she would serve time for that, and if she did the world was doomed. She thought there would be a warrant for her arrest when she did not show up for the next court date, which at that time had not been announced.
I thought if I said “no” that she would stay
She did not.
I should have gone with her
I failed
She left in the afternoon of January 10, 2020
Her attorney called me the next week with her court date, February 7, 2020. On February 7, 2020, without Jennifer there asking for a postponement, the attorney had the case thrown out. She called me with the news, she tried to call Jennifer but she wasn’t answering her phone. ‘Case dismissed, Jennifer you’re free of this’, she never heard those words. Jennifer never got that message, her phone was already gone.
She’d been missing three weeks when we got a hospital invoice, billings from hospitals in Columbus Ohio; Mt Carmel ER and RiverVista Health and Wellness. This was my great and only hope, that she would be committed to a mental health facility and they would call me. Her last chance for treatment, to get well, to regain her splendid mind.
I was so relieved, for about ten minutes.
She had followed a man home and into his driveway because he “looked familiar”. He called the police, they 5150ed her. This is what I was counting on. This is how I would find her. After being on the road she would come home and agree to commit herself until she was better! Nightmare Over!
New Nightmare Begins.
I called them right away, they told me she was fine, good enough to be released, but they were very sorry they could not tell me more. HIPAA Laws, you know.
They led me to believe that she got better there to cover their asses, that is what they did.
But if she was better, she would have called me, why didn’t she call? They lied.
I got her chart three weeks ago. They took notes everyday. There was no improvement, there was only (10) ten days. That’s it.
She told them not to call anybody, of course, all our phones, cars and houses are bugged.
Everyday in RiverVista she was described as delusional, her delusions are described as bizarre, they say she‘s irrational, illogical, she had flight of ideas, she was homeless and living in her car, she had no money, and did not know anybody in Ohio, had no support system there, could not care for herself. She told them she was looking for a family.
She was described this way everyday she was there including the day of her release, she should NOT had been released. ALSO there are provisions in the HIPAA Law for them to notify family in a situation like this, they failed.
RiverVista had her medical records from Los Angeles, RiverVista knew she was sick, RiverVista knew she was not a Jane Doe, RiverVista knew she didn’t know anybody in Ohio, RiverVista knew she had no money. RiverVista released a young, delusional, illogical woman, with no money, who was 3,000 miles from home and could not keep her thoughts straight, RiverVista released her out on the street to die.
And she did, she died.
January 6, 2021, she died.
Before all this new stuff, after the deaths and the breakup, she had tried to find mental health help, and was very disappointed in the resources that were available to her. After her breakup with her attorney fiancé, she could not afford to just find a good psychiatrist and go. She got on Medicare, and tried find a doctor who both accepted Medicare and was taking new patients, not an easy task.
One was running a pyramid scheme and enlisted her help.
Another wanted her to marry him and move back to his home in Honduras.
And there are many other disturbing psychiatrist stories.
But she finally found Dr. Vicary, he was a good doctor, but because of Medicare mental health funding, she could only see him once a month.
Once A Month.
She started to believe this new fiancé, Josh Radnor, was at each of their sessions, that Dr. Vicary knew and allowed him to listen through the door in the next room. Not for any nefarious reason, but because he cared.
She didn’t see her Josh, she never saw him. She looked for him constantly. Looked for signs and messages he would send her: an orange boat on a white car; a sign.
Then Dr. Vicary had retired, she didn’t see him at all, not anymore, and could not face going through the search for another doctor.
Then, in 2018, while on one of her walks in her neighborhood in Valencia, California, there were signs, literal signs on a door: “Come In, Don’t Knock”, it was meant to allow a baby to sleep. She was sure it was a sign for her, so she walked in, they called the police, she was arrested for burglary.
A pretty little burglar all dressed up in a cute skirt, top, high heels and makeup with a tiny purse. She was all dressed up, in case she ran into Josh. Not good attire for burglaing.
She went to court every two months all of 2018, she kept having it postponed because she didn’t want to go to prison, for trespassing.
She also began to have violent outbursts, some people who rented rooms from her and Eric moved because she frightened them. While visiting me in 2018, I was standing with my hand on the kitchen counter, she took a paring knife and stabbed the countertop between each of my fingers. Then again when I was trying to get a pair of socks from the cubby above the bed, I fell down and some socks fell out. She took it as an attack and slugged me in the face a few times, I was bruised from my eye to my lip.
On December 15, 2020, she came back home to Arcata. She said it was time. There was disease coming, indeed Coronavirus was already in China. Soon natural disasters would start, and rebellion, war.
Her and I trained to fight this together, on horseback, remember!?!
“Remember Mom??? It’s time.”
But that damn arrest in Valencia, she thought she would serve time for that, and if she did the world was doomed. She thought there would be a warrant for her arrest when she did not show up for the next court date, which at that time had not been announced.
I thought if I said “no” that she would stay
She did not.
I should have gone with her
I failed
She left in the afternoon of January 10, 2020
Her attorney called me the next week with her court date, February 7, 2020. On February 7, 2020, without Jennifer there asking for a postponement, the attorney had the case thrown out. She called me with the news, she tried to call Jennifer but she wasn’t answering her phone. ‘Case dismissed, Jennifer you’re free of this’, she never heard those words. Jennifer never got that message, her phone was already gone.
She’d been missing three weeks when we got a hospital invoice, billings from hospitals in Columbus Ohio; Mt Carmel ER and RiverVista Health and Wellness. This was my great and only hope, that she would be committed to a mental health facility and they would call me. Her last chance for treatment, to get well, to regain her splendid mind.
I was so relieved, for about ten minutes.
She had followed a man home and into his driveway because he “looked familiar”. He called the police, they 5150ed her. This is what I was counting on. This is how I would find her. After being on the road she would come home and agree to commit herself until she was better! Nightmare Over!
New Nightmare Begins.
I called them right away, they told me she was fine, good enough to be released, but they were very sorry they could not tell me more. HIPAA Laws, you know.
They led me to believe that she got better there to cover their asses, that is what they did.
But if she was better, she would have called me, why didn’t she call? They lied.
I got her chart three weeks ago. They took notes everyday. There was no improvement, there was only (10) ten days. That’s it.
She told them not to call anybody, of course, all our phones, cars and houses are bugged.
Everyday in RiverVista she was described as delusional, her delusions are described as bizarre, they say she‘s irrational, illogical, she had flight of ideas, she was homeless and living in her car, she had no money, and did not know anybody in Ohio, had no support system there, could not care for herself. She told them she was looking for a family.
She was described this way everyday she was there including the day of her release, she should NOT had been released. ALSO there are provisions in the HIPAA Law for them to notify family in a situation like this, they failed.
RiverVista had her medical records from Los Angeles, RiverVista knew she was sick, RiverVista knew she was not a Jane Doe, RiverVista knew she didn’t know anybody in Ohio, RiverVista knew she had no money. RiverVista released a young, delusional, illogical woman, with no money, who was 3,000 miles from home and could not keep her thoughts straight, RiverVista released her out on the street to die.
And she did, she died.
January 6, 2021, she died.
Jennifer was a beautiful person, a person who actually cared about everybody, and always let them know.
She was my teacher in so many ways, and the best person I’ve known, my favorite person. I did not deserve her and she surely deserved better then me.
JLDJLDJLDJLDJLDJLDJLDJLDJLDJLDJLDJLD
I used almost every hour of 2020 looking for her through social media, and trying to raise money to go to Ohio and follow her trail; I failed spectacularly, didn’t even raise enough money to get out of Humboldt County.
I want her to have a memorial, so I have now included that in my goal. I don’t know if it will be here in Arcata or in LA. But she needs a memorial service for her friends and cousins.
She had no history of heart problems. Maybe she died of a broken heart.
Her autopsy revealed no drugs or alcohol in her system, just a mild decongestant that apparently did not work on her fluid filled lungs. She died on the floor of a strangers living room in Waterville, Maine. She had bronchitis, the coroner said III put too much pressure on her heart, her heart was able to withstand those demands and stopped.
She was 43 years old.
She’s home now, in an unmarked grave in Trinadad, California. She needs a gravestone, I need to pay the balance on the funeral home in Maine and her airfare back to California.
I owe $2k in burial fees & at the very lease $2k for a headstone. That’s headstone, shipping and installation. All separate, heartbreaking, expenses.
What’s Paid:
The plot ($1200) and grave digger ($1000) are paid for, the funeral home in Arcata ($2500) the transportation from Sacramento to Arcata and the plain wooden casket with a Star ($1500), are all paid in full.
Still need:
A gravestone, the gravestone ($1500?) shipped to Arcata, ($550 up) and the gravestone installed ($300?). She needs the funeral home in Maine paid, ($2000) and her flight from Maine to California($1000).
And, finally, She needs a Funeral Service.
As a retired woman living on Social Security I can’t afford this on my own.
She was be buried Monday February 15, at Trinadad Cemetery in Trinadad, California. No gravestone yet, but tradition is to wait one year. Eric and I put abalone shells around her, marking where she lays.
We’ve been going through her many notebooks, she was a prolific writer, looking for a clue as to why she disappeared and what she was planning, or looking for, but she wasn’t writing like she normally did, and she was not writing about that. Of course, we don’t have her iphone, where all her writings, notes, artwork and music is. All these things have been lost somewhere between Ohio and Maine.
In these boxes full of notebooks, no clues.
ORIGINAL TEXT
Hello, I am Jennifer's mother, and I am making this because Jennifer's passing was sudden and unexpected. Wednesday morning a policeman came to my door with the news that she had passed in Waterville Maine, that after a night of coughing and trouble breathing she was found in the early morning unresponsive and not breathing. This was completely unexpected, she had been missing, but I had no doubt that I would either find her or that she would just come home. Jennifer had so many private battles, her mental illness was diagnosed shortly after she graduated from Long Beach State University and began slowly to take away all her smiles and free spirit, leaving her tortured soul to be the forefront of all her actions almost continuously for the last few years.
Mental illness is heartbreaking, it is terrible to feel so helpless in front of such a formidable and invisible foe.
The pandemic, Jennifer's illness, her missing status followed by news of her death, is all so much to bear, the toll has been huge. Jennifer was a wonderful daughter, she was fun, and beautiful and could sing like an angel. She was clever, sweet, a great navigator and so gregarious, she was always making new friends, I honestly do not know how to live without her.
My loving daughter and best friend, I keep hearing “it’s not normal or right for a parent to bury a child”.
I keep feeling I’m in a nightmare, but I will wake up and she will be here, but it doesn’t happen.
Her body is in Waterville, Maine, her family and friends in Northern and Southern California, 3,386 miles away.
First I have to get her from Waterville, Maine to the local funeral home in Arcata, California. I still need you.
January 10, 2021
Her body is in Waterville, Maine, her family and friends in Northern and Southern California, 3,386 miles away.
In all my many nightmares, I’ve never dreamt anything that compares to this whole experience.
First I have to get her from Waterville, Maine to the local funeral home in Arcata California.
But I seem frozen; unable to move through this cruel fog.
The costs to get her here from the other side of the country is amazing, even the basic costs if she were in town are amazing.
There’s no packages, it’s item per item, and every item is heartbreaking.
The lowest estimate after her body is in Arcata, is $10,600., not including a headstone. She also needs a Funeral Home in Waterville, Maine, to prepare her body for air travel, and arrange her flight to Sacramento, about $1725.
The cost to get her from Sacramento Airport to Arcata $725.
She needs a plot and a grave digger, each a separate, heartbreaking, cost.
Organizer
Judith Schwartz
Organizer
Bayside, CA
