Support and Hope for Mary

Hello, my name is Mary Stephenson. I am 67 years old, a survivor of domestic violence and financial abuse from my adult son. I have a modest retirement income. Please help me on my journey to healing and recovery. I am very private and independent. It is frustrating and embarrassing to need financial assistance. My circumstances have separated me from my only grandson, which nearly broke my heart. My grandson, his mother, and his maternal grandmother, have suffered abuse from his father, by property theft and destruction, verbal abuse, and physical violence. Sherriff's Department deputies raided his maternal grandmother's home, with a felony arrest warrant for his father. Rebuilding your life after domestic violence requires courage, especially for an older person. Some days, I have renewed hope and believe in miracles. On other days, I have only painful memories; anger, discouragement, sadness, bitter regrets and tears. I am grateful for every single moment of peace, quiet, and safety.

My son is a narcissist psychopath. He has seven multiple personalities. His bizarre behavior was evident by age two. I was a single parent with no child support from his father. I was a devoted mother and made many personal sacrifices to give him a good life. He has abused drugs and alcohol for 26 years. He is a convicted felon, arrested repeatedly for criminal activities starting at age 16. He dropped out of High School. He shoplifted and stole money and personal items from me and other people continually. When he was under the influence of drugs he would use a trash bag to steal items from my home. He lived with me most of his adult life because he could not maintain a job to support himself. I finally had to evict him and obtain a legal Order of Protection. He violated it one month later. One time, he stole my car and deliberately wrecked it by flipping it upside down. He received minor injuries. The car could not be repaired. This incident cost me $16,000 because I did not have full coverage insurance. My son stole my bank debit card numerous times. The last incident cost me $300 in overdraft fees. After that happened I always slept with my wallet and car key. He filed a fraudulent claim for social security disability and was denied benefits. He used my computer to engage in illegal activities. To erase the evidence, he deleted the hard drive with a magnet which nearly destroyed my home based business and financial income. He consumed prescription drugs with alcohol. He was going to a Methadone Clinic while also abusing illegal drugs. His insanity and drug addiction caused him to fake panic attacks. He would go to the hospital emergency room to receive free medication, which resulted in thousands of dollars in unpaid medical bills. He beat his girlfriend's two year old son, leaving handprint bruises on him. He was in a government transitional housing program that provided free rent and utilities for a limited period of time. Because of his drug abuse, dirty lifestyle, dumpster diving, and hoarding behavior, he destroyed his apartment. One time, when I was cooking a meal my elderly cat was begging for food. My son was trying to talk to me over the sound of her meowing. He got irritated and kicked my 18 year old cat from the kitchen into the dining room. Sometimes, when he would demand money and my car to be able to buy drugs, I would have to lock myself in the bathroom while he threatened me and pounded on the door. He put prescription drugs in my beverages several times. In one incident he tried to strangle me with the belt from my bathrobe. I was able to escape, run down the street barefoot to a neighbor's house and contact the police. He was never arrested for any of the criminal incidents related to me. One time, he offered to make dinner which caused me to be suspicious. He used the opportunity to poison me by putting herbicide (weed killer) in the spaghetti sauce. I survived only by the divine grace of God. During this period of time, my life was defined by drama, trauma, crisis, danger, extreme stress, sadness, confusion, codependence, and constant fear. My sanity was hanging by a thread. I endured verbal attacks, psychological warfare, manipulation, and constant fear for my safety.

I am a loving and very generous person. Before my forced relocation I rescued abused and abandoned cats and dogs, adopting them to new homes. Within 30 years, I rescued over 1,000 animals by myself. This included small, injured wild animals and rehabilitation. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) sent me a letter of recognition. I helped people in need with transportation to the grocery store. I took care of friends when they were ill, injured or confined to bed. I helped neighbors in an emergency or personal crisis. I donated clothing to the homeless and food to single mothers. I worked with at-risk teenagers. I did volunteer counseling. I was continually supporting my community, and making personal sacrifices to improve other people's quality of life. I tried to "save" everyone I could except for myself. I wrote poetry and received awards. I was a classical pianist and vocalist, attended a university and studied Fine Arts (musical performance). The good parts of my previous life have faded like the memories associated with old black-and-white photographs.

My son's severe abuse caused me personal and financial injury for many years. My son was 32 years old when I made the decision to leave and save my life. I disappeared late at night without notifying anyone that I was moving out of state. No forwarding address. I had to sacrifice my work-from-home advertising and marketing business. I had to abandon furniture and items in my apartment, donate or discard anything of value. I lost everything that I had acquired for the past 40 years, which was devastating. The estimated value of those physical possessions is more than $100,000+. I only took some clothes, a few personal items, photographs, and legal papers. Everything I owned was in my car. During my relocation, I did primitive tent camping in Oregon for several months to survive. My only neighbors were wild animals, which added an element of danger to my situation. A resident in a nearby town provided my camping equipment and basic supplies. I had to rely on free food programs and a church for gasoline gift cards. The physical energy required to maintain a campsite caused me to lose 35 pounds. I slept on an inflatable air mattress using a car adaptor air pump. I dug a hole for an outdoor latrine, using a fold out portable toilet seat. I stored my food in portable coolers with ice. Cooking meals was challenging, using a propane stove and plastic folding tables. Without a weather canopy, there were no hot meals on rainy days (make a sandwich). I collected wood for campfires, hauling water and ice to my campsite. Personal "bathing" required visiting a town close to my campsite to use the sink in a public restroom at the community park. I had to drive several miles to do laundry. At night, the temperature would fall below 40 degrees, a cold, miserable, dangerous situation.

When I was a guest at a motel in Kansas, an employee went into my room when I was not there. He stole most of the cash I had to pay for travel and relocation expenses. This criminal incident added insult to injury in my difficult situation and created a new financial crisis. After that, I had to depend on churches and strangers to pay for my gas and food expenses. I lived in my car. Sometimes, a church would pay for a night in a motel. I also stayed in several homeless shelters while relocating across the country. This transition period took me from Kansas to Colorado, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Texas, Oregon, and Montana.

 

I do not have a family support system. I am isolated and alone as an only, adopted child with no brothers or sisters. My parents are deceased. Without your financial assistance, I have no recovery options or resources. These are my priorities: clothing, shoes, engine block heater for my twelve year old car, security and utility deposits to rent a house or apartment. I am staying in a miserable budget motel with a mini kitchen. I need furniture, household items, cookware, dishes, appliances, towels, bedding, etc.

I want to help other survivors of domestic violence. If I had enough money I could buy a small farm property. It could be a weekend sanctuary for women living in domestic violence shelters. Activities could include working in an organic garden and greenhouse, nature walks, classes about organic diet, nutrition, herbs, and healthy lifestyle, teaching life and survival skills, sitting around a campfire sharing our personal stories, healing, and encouraging each other. Without your generous donations this will never become a reality.

 

Many of you have been victimized by domestic violence, alcohol or drug abuse within your family. You understand the personal and financial consequences. Some of you have lost family members or friends due to domestic violence. You can honor their life and memory by helping survivors like me. Thank you, for your compassion and support. Please share my personal story with your family, friends, and social media contacts.