Help Benny Remove His Jets
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My name is Benjamin and I am a 19-year-old student at Mount Royal University in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, however I was born as Madison 19 years ago. Being born in a body I was never fully comfortable with has been something I have constantly struggled with for as long as I can remember. I can remember wanting to be Danny Zuko (from Grease) since Kindergarten and being absolutely ecstatic when I landed a male role in my junior high play.
I first came out as a lesbian at the age of 15 when I was in Grade 11. I thought I had figured out why I had felt so different throughout my early years of school. About a year after I came out as gay, I continued to feel as though something was ‘missing’. After a great deal of research, politically incorrect Google searches and hours of video diaries I found on Youtube, I discovered the term transgender in October of my last year of high school. Up until this point in time I had rarely ever heard of anyone being transgender, but after my extensive research I discovered I wasn’t alone and I certainly did not have an abnormal medical condition that WebMd said I had. Discovering literally hundreds of other Transmen gave me hope that there was a solution to my ‘emptiness’ and that I no longer had to pretend to be someone I wasn’t.
I came out to my girlfriend and family members almost immediately after my moment of eureka and got nothing but absolute love and support from them. After a great deal of inner turmoil and eventual self-acceptance, I chopped off my 30 inch locks, donated my braid and began to see a therapist in order to safely begin my first step towards aligning my mind and my body-testosterone. Although it took almost a year and a half to complete therapy and get passed the waiting lists, I am happy to say that I began taking testosterone injections on July 14th,2015. Now, nearly 7 months on testosterone, I am beginning the process towards my second and most rewarding step of all- top surgery. Although my outward physical appearance is beginning to change, I still struggle with what I see in the mirror on a daily basis. Unfortunately, I have been cursed with 36E breasts that make it extremely difficult to bind. Not only are they difficult to bind but they also make binding a physically and mentally defeating task that is uncomfortable and discouraging. It is very difficult to feel confident about my appearance and then look in the mirror and not physically portray that image I have in my mind.
Top surgery in Alberta is covered by Healthcare, however in order to be covered, you must see a psychiatrist. There is an extensive waitlist to see the psychiatrist that determines whether or not you can be put on another waitlist to receive surgery. More often than not, the surgeons who preform the top surgery put very little effort into the job as you are not a paying customer. Another option a lot of transmen have is to go private, although it is more time efficient, it is costly. For the procedure I am hoping to receive (double mastectomy with nipple grafts) the total cost is around $9000. To some people I may appear to be impatient but I have been waiting patiently for 19 years for my physical self to align with my true and honest inner self. Although my parents love and support me no matter what I do, helping with my top surgery is not a financial possibility for them. Being a full time university student has limited my ability to work, however I manage to work two jobs in order to save for surgery. I have always had a difficult time asking for help and have often avoided it but this is something so important to my mental and physical health I can’t try and do it on my own. I can’t express how appreciative I would be if you could help me by donating so that I am finally able to begin this next chapter of my life. Even the smallest donation would mean the absolute world to me. If you are not financially able to help me out, please help me out by sharing this with others. I hope that even if I do not reach my goal of $9000, I hope that this can spread awareness and enlighten people on the struggles of the transgender community. If you donate, please leave your address so I can properly thank you with some snail mail.
I first came out as a lesbian at the age of 15 when I was in Grade 11. I thought I had figured out why I had felt so different throughout my early years of school. About a year after I came out as gay, I continued to feel as though something was ‘missing’. After a great deal of research, politically incorrect Google searches and hours of video diaries I found on Youtube, I discovered the term transgender in October of my last year of high school. Up until this point in time I had rarely ever heard of anyone being transgender, but after my extensive research I discovered I wasn’t alone and I certainly did not have an abnormal medical condition that WebMd said I had. Discovering literally hundreds of other Transmen gave me hope that there was a solution to my ‘emptiness’ and that I no longer had to pretend to be someone I wasn’t.
I came out to my girlfriend and family members almost immediately after my moment of eureka and got nothing but absolute love and support from them. After a great deal of inner turmoil and eventual self-acceptance, I chopped off my 30 inch locks, donated my braid and began to see a therapist in order to safely begin my first step towards aligning my mind and my body-testosterone. Although it took almost a year and a half to complete therapy and get passed the waiting lists, I am happy to say that I began taking testosterone injections on July 14th,2015. Now, nearly 7 months on testosterone, I am beginning the process towards my second and most rewarding step of all- top surgery. Although my outward physical appearance is beginning to change, I still struggle with what I see in the mirror on a daily basis. Unfortunately, I have been cursed with 36E breasts that make it extremely difficult to bind. Not only are they difficult to bind but they also make binding a physically and mentally defeating task that is uncomfortable and discouraging. It is very difficult to feel confident about my appearance and then look in the mirror and not physically portray that image I have in my mind.
Top surgery in Alberta is covered by Healthcare, however in order to be covered, you must see a psychiatrist. There is an extensive waitlist to see the psychiatrist that determines whether or not you can be put on another waitlist to receive surgery. More often than not, the surgeons who preform the top surgery put very little effort into the job as you are not a paying customer. Another option a lot of transmen have is to go private, although it is more time efficient, it is costly. For the procedure I am hoping to receive (double mastectomy with nipple grafts) the total cost is around $9000. To some people I may appear to be impatient but I have been waiting patiently for 19 years for my physical self to align with my true and honest inner self. Although my parents love and support me no matter what I do, helping with my top surgery is not a financial possibility for them. Being a full time university student has limited my ability to work, however I manage to work two jobs in order to save for surgery. I have always had a difficult time asking for help and have often avoided it but this is something so important to my mental and physical health I can’t try and do it on my own. I can’t express how appreciative I would be if you could help me by donating so that I am finally able to begin this next chapter of my life. Even the smallest donation would mean the absolute world to me. If you are not financially able to help me out, please help me out by sharing this with others. I hope that even if I do not reach my goal of $9000, I hope that this can spread awareness and enlighten people on the struggles of the transgender community. If you donate, please leave your address so I can properly thank you with some snail mail.
Organizer
Ben Laurin
Organizer
Calgary, AB