My Journey to Skin Removal Surgery

Hi, my name is Eve Iris. You may know me from my Cozy Corner of the internet Live Streams on TikTok username EveIrisOwO, or perhaps from my ASMR Sleep Comfort videos on YouTube username EveIrisOwO, no matter where you come from I love you and I'm so grateful that you are taking the time to read this GoFundMe letter.

I am a 23 year old influencer, this basically means people pay to see an inside view of my life through actual money, time or likes on my content, while attention is the new currency it unfortunately doesn't make up for America's Healthcare lol.

So onto the big question. Why donate to me and why is $15,000 my goal. Get a box of tissues, some water and popcorn (I love popcorn) because this is my life story.

I'm 23 years old now, I was born on Christmas Eve to a teenage mom who is did her best to raise me. This is where my name comes from, being born to teenage parents meant money was incredibly difficult most of my childhood. My family lived well below the poverty line, some nights I would go to bed with just water as my dinner so I had something at least something in my stomach. My parents did the best they could to provide, but being teenagers themselves, we struggled a lot.

I remember my mom breaking down at the kitchen table crying over bills telling me at 6 years old how we wouldn't have hot water that winter because our water heater was broken and we couldn't get groceries if we fixed it. My dad was in the living room cutting up credit cards and throwing the pieces up like confetti laughing sourly at the hand life had dealt his family.

I'm struggling to express how hard it was growing up with so little. I didn't have access to healthy food. Fast food was cheaper, and with many mouths to feed its what we could afford. I was always chubby even as a baby. I remember being so uncomfortable in my skin. My arms barely fit in the hand me down clothes my mom got for me from my much more well to do cousins, I was 8 years old when I couldn't fit in the clothes from cousins anymore. I was already 130 lbs at 8 years old due to the extreme lack of healthy foods and eating everything I could whenever I had the chance to because I didn't know when or where my next meal was going to come from.

I started turning to food as my sole comfort around 7 years old. I was born without an optic nerve in my left eye, this birth defect caused me to have a lazy eye that made me an easy target to bullies. It also didn't help that because of this birth defect I am completely blind in my left eye which kids took advantage of.

I looked different from the other kids, I was different. This was the hand life had dealt me and as we all know kids can be cruel. Every time I ate, it made me cry myself to sleep late into the night. Food became my only friend and as a 160 lbs 9 year old that wasn't good for my mental or emotional health.

Boys would come up on my left side knowing I am blind and rip my hair out in bloody chunks while making pig sounds at me and laughing.

I would go home and talk to the hand mascot "Lefty" on the Hamburger Helper box because he didn't mind that I looked ugly.

Girls spread rumors that I must have ate all of my family because of my big belly.

Chocolate ice-cream wouldn't talk crap about me behind my back. I felt so alone. Soon I couldn't keep up with other kids. Exercise was a punishment made to make me look stupid. I desperately tried to make friends, but the harder I tried the worse the bulling got. At 14 years old I was already 230 lbs, I started getting asked out as a joke by boys. Four Square became three square because there wasn't enough room for me.

I learned pretty early in my life that being fat made me ugly. I started dieting at age 7. I'd starve myself, throw away my school lunch and hide in the bathrooms. I'd get home and binge. My relationship with food became a personal hellish prison. I started making myself puke after eating. With the taste of throw-up in my mouth I'd eat more to make myself feel better. Tears streamed down my face and soaked my pillow worrying about school the next day.

This continued for years. When I hit middle school I tried Weight Watchers. I ran everyday despite my belly clapping as I ran and obsessively counted calories. I'd restrict myself to only "good foods". I'd have crippling panic attacks over wanting brownies and sweets. I pushed myself further and further between meals, sometimes going a couple of days without more then cheese and crackers. I'd break the cycle and binge after being unable to control myself. I felt like a monster at fourteen. Then started to loose weight, I went from 230 down to 210 lbs. I was still fatter then the other girls in the school and public splashpad locker rooms, but maybe if I skipped enough breakfasts I'd be accepted, perhaps even be pretty enough to wear normal clothes. I never was.

I turned back to my only friend. Food didn't care if I didn't have nice or new clothes. Food didn't mind if I had rolls of skin hanging over my waist. Food called to me, it was worse then a simple hunger. It had become an addiction some would even say my Warden and I was it's unwilling victim and prisoner. I turned to food and hated myself because of it. In high school groups of girls would walk behind me and stomp the ground as I waddled to my classes where I couldn't fit in the desk seats. They called me elephant and beached whale, I couldn't walk up the stairs anymore and used a special elevator key. I'd skip classes and sleep inside of janitors closets. I felt so alone. I hated myself for eating, but I couldn't stop myself. Food was my only relationship. I was 390 lbs when I graduated High School and I was too embarrassed to attend my own graduation, knowing they'd have to set up an accessibility ramp exclusively for me to be able to walk onto the stage.

I desperately wanted to connect with others. I had so much love to give and I just wanted to be loved back, without people only seeing me for my weight. Then at 18 I met him. He was everything I ever wanted. I met him off a dating app. He was kind at first. Called me pretty. I can't explain how badly I wanted a boyfriend. Someone I could love, someone to accept me. After almost two decades of rejection and food being my only friend, my only supporter and the only thing to bring me even the slightest solace of comfort, I nearly welded myself to the first person to ever show me a glimpse of humanity or seeing me as anything more than this beached whale elephant like monster I had been made out to be.

I told him no. That I was not willing to have an intimate relationship without being told that they loved me, and late one night he got blackout drunk and confessed his love to me. I believed him because I was once told drunk people only tell the truth, well that was a lie. Just like his claim of loving me. I went on to make this relationship last two years despite every red flag, despite him calling me Zoidberg from Futurama and grabbing my fat rolls, he'd bite me tell I bled and make me do things in his bedroom that made me sob uncontrollably and beg him to stop... He had no car, no social life and lived with his parents. He was the first man to ever tell me I was pretty and he said he loved me. I was stupid enough to believe him and not leave him.

I was working two jobs at the time, and he'd have me drive him 45 minutes out to his job everyday and back to his parents house again. After 6 months we moved in together and he would force me to stay up late with him and then I'd have to wake up at 6am to clean the house and try to squeeze into his normal sized shower that was to small for me after only getting 2 hours of sleep each night. Then I'd wake him up, take him to his job then drive another 45 minutes to get to my first job. I never had time to cook at home, and I barely had time to clean the house for both of us since he would rather play Magic The Gathering instead. We'd eat out for every meal because of convenience and time, by the time I was 19 after a year in this relationship I was 490 lbs. For the first time in almost 2 years I went to see my mom for Christmas, he really didn't like me spending any time with them.

My mom has 4 steps going up to her front door and it took me the better part of 10 minutes per step, and when I finally got inside I plopped down on her couch as it creaked under my weight. My dad just stared at me in absolute shock at how different I looked. I was paler then the Utah snow was white outside and completely drenched in sweat with my hair all matted and sticking to my face. My mom came downstairs and when saw me she started sobbing uncontrollably, she sat down on the couch next to me and I will never forget the look on her tear stained face and the words she said to me. "Eve. This is going to be our last Christmas together, I don't think your going to survive until next Christmas because your body is going to start failing and your spine will likely break under your weight." I had just tipped the 500 lbs mark on the scale. This understandably scared me skinny (sorry thought a joke would lighten the dark mood)

So I started the long scary journey to my current 180 lbs, I knew I would need professional help since I clearly couldn't do it on my own. So I went to see a team of doctors at The Universtiy of Utah, I asked them about surgical help through the means of a Gastric Bypass or Sleeve. I asked my new doctor about those options and he said no, as a 19 year old girl having that kind of surgery would be permanently life altering since it surgically changes the size of your stomach and unless you follow a very strict regiment of a high protein low fat low sugar diet then statistically most people rebound to their old weight after just 5 years of the surgery. My doctor said first I want you to prove to me that your serious about turning your life around, he gave me a diet and exercise plan to follow and said if you do follow this to the letter you should be able to drop around 100 lbs in 9-12 months. One thing that you may have picked up on by reading my life story so far is that I do what is necessary to protect myself from ridicule and judgement if I can help it.

I went on to take these instructions my doctor gave me as my new bible and followed them religiously, by the time I hit the 5 month mark I had already lost 100 lbs, my relationship with myself and food had significantly improved and my relationship with my now ex-boyfriend I mentioned above had begun to deteriorate which I didn't realize at the time but became a very good thing for me. I was now down to 400 lbs, the soonest I could get surgery was another 7 months from this point. So I took it upon myself to continue following this diet and exercise plan and I got down to 320 lbs. In a matter of 12 months I managed to lose about 180 lbs by significantly changing my life choices, at this point I was approved for a Gastric Bypass surgery that was fortunately covered by insurance. The next 6 months after my surgery I continued to loose weight and got down to 220 lbs. From 500 lbs to 220 lbs in about 18 months was a life altering change and that leads me to the reason for this GoFundMe Campaign.

As you've seen in my GoFundMe cover picture with that extreme weight loss in such a short time I have been left with extensive loose skin, it's most noticeable in my arms, breasts, abdomen and thighs. This amount of loose skin and cellulite is not normal nor healthy for a 23 year old girl. As much as I wish that this loose skin was purely a cosmetic surgical fix it isn't. Having this much loose skin causes it to fold on itself and makes it extremely difficult to sleep since if it pinches on itself I wake up in pain, it also causes rashes and outbreaks due to it not getting fresh air.

While I am grateful for the life changing difference my weight loss has afforded me, I underestimated how much loose skin I would have and how it would effect my life.

With extensive loose skin comes extensive surgical needs. As such I will need a total of three surgeries. The first will be for my arms and breasts, the second for my abdomen and the final one for my thighs. You may have a few questions and I will do my best to answer the most common ones below.

1. Why do I need three separate surgeries vs doing it all in one go.

2. If my gastric bypass was covered by insurance why isn't this one?

3. Why am I choosing to do my arms and breasts, then my abdomen and finally my thighs last.

4. If I donate to this GoFundMe will you still do a GoFundMe for your remaining surgeries?

5. How do you plan to achieve your fundraising goal and what will you do with any money that may exceed your goal?

I am so incredibly grateful that I have the opportunity and privilege that my life has afforded me through a lot of pain, hurt and hard lessons. I've never backed down, I've never given up and it has granted me a life beyond anything I could ask for. Even if I only gain one dollar in this campaign I will be eternally grateful.

Remember, you are loved, you are cared about, and you are enough.

Much Love,

Eve Iris