CSA Survivor Recovery Fund

Trigger warning: Survivor of trauma/abuse needs to raise money to help treat Complex-PTSD (CPTSD)

I am a survivor of chronic developmental trauma, including child sexual violence by multiple perpetrators, along with other forms of physical and emotional abuse. Throughout childhood and adolescence I was let down by trusted adults and services, including the courts, social services, school, and mental health services. As an adult, I am now trying to seek specialist treatment to help with debilitating C-PTSD symptoms.

Until 6 years old I lived in an household where I witnessed domestic violence and was victim to physical and emotional abuse from infancy. The sexual abuse started when I was 4 and became progressively worse, continuing even after we fled and involving multiple perpetrators close to me. Despite significant evidence, interventions by social services/family courts failed because of the positions of power my abusers held within the community and continue to hold today.

As a result, despite fleeing, I remained legally bound to regular visits with my main abuser, while other abusers/enablers continued to hold significant positions of emotional and financial control over my life. The sexual abuse persisted until I was 13 years old, and I experienced domestic violence/emotional abuse from an older sibling up until late adolescence, and unfortunately neglect/deprivation due to persistent effects of abuse upon my other (disabled)caregiver.

My trauma has been left untreated by adult mental health services for almost a decade despite obvious presentations of c-PTSD, and I have been neglected and mistreated due to stigma from misdiagnosis. Low-cost private therapy has been more harmful than helpful due to misunderstanding of trauma - this has led to a worsening of symptoms, many of which are likely to be chronic in some form as a result. I have only just this year been referred for NHS specialist trauma services, but the waiting list is still 2-3 years and I am struggling very much now.

I am trying hard to finish an undergraduate degree but still only just now fully coming to terms with what has happened to me and how it continues to impact my daily functioning, which remains poor: compulsions, emotional flashbacks, somatic symptoms, disordered eating, depression, etc. I have also been revictimized in adulthood during a period of vulnerability as a result of unsafe housing.

While my main abuser remains housed comfortably by the church, and other perpetrators/enablers remain some of the wealthiest people in the country - I am left struggling without access to specialist services despite trying my best to reach some sort of stability/recovery.

I am trying to raise funds for assessments and as much specialist trauma therapy as I can – the fees for which are £110-150 per session depending on the therapist. If I do decide to go to court in the end, any remaining funds will be used to fund Expert Witness Reports by trauma specialists for the courts. Please contribute anything you can to help!