New Mom Beating Stage 4 Breast Cancer

As a cancer patient, I am learning the benefits of asking for help, but this is still not easy for me. I was 37 weeks pregnant when I was excitedly nesting, bought a house and started my own company as a Behavior Analyst (Mindful ABA). At 37 weeks pregnant and just turned 29 years old, I was also diagnosed with Stage 3 Triple Negative Breast cancer. I was told on Friday, 9/9, induced that Monday, 9/12 and had my (absolutely perfect) baby boy on 9/14; I started chemo when he was two weeks old to the day. I was still working; as I said, I don’t want to rely on others, but on 11/2, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer that had now spread to my liver. A month before my cancer diagnosis, we invited a friend to live with us for a fresh start. He had worked so hard to become and remain sober for almost three months at the time and nearly five months currently. This happily made my home office into his new bedroom. Unfortunately, when I started chemo, I was told by my Oncologist that I would not be able to work in person or otherwise due to the devastating effects of my treatment on my immune system. Hearing that was the first time I cried. Anyone who knows me knows my work is my whole life. I am a Behavior Analyst for children who have mental disabilities. I decided that day that I was going to do cancer, my way. Unfortunately, with treatment, a newborn and all the stresses of juggling these new roles, attempting to maintain a remote professional career and a cancer patient, I am at maximum capacity. This is where I am begging for your help. I’m filling all these roles from this cluttered home, which now feels like my prison cell. Throughout this horrendous process, I never once felt like a victim nor like I couldn't power through the tough times. But I am far over my head enough to express my desperate need for help. The surgery I need to remove the cancer from my liver is out of network; the bills from all the doctors are  quickly adding up. I want my son to have what he needs and wants; we are already thousands in debt within a few months. I was 17 when I discovered I was BRCA1 positive and decided I wouldn't get a mastectomy to allow myself to breastfeed. Unfortunately, I only was able to for 3 short days before MRI, CT, Bone scans, and other treatments of my new reality made it unsafe to continue. This adding another stress of finding formula to our weekly struggles. With Chemo a possible side effect is neuropathy. Meaning the nerve endings in the hands and feet are irreparably damaged. One day, I was made aware of this side effect when my son was crying, and I couldn't pick him up because I couldn't feel my hands. Staring at your child and not being able to make them better is the worst pain in the world. Not knowing what day I would be rendered unable to care for my baby independently is a stress I hope no mother has ever has to face. This is adding to the expense of childcare due to Cancer. Neuropathy also called for my chemo treatment to change to a far more robust version that the oncologist explained "would knock the shit" out of me. I was barely making it through my days without ending them crawling into bed; now I'm terrified of the day I am so sick that I can't even get out of bed to care for my baby. Without family near, we're relying on the kindness of others to make it through this next year. I hope my story will elicit the kindness of others to help make my new life doable, get my family out of debt, and be a reason to celebrate. For as long as possible, my new schedule will be working full time to survive, treatments,  surgeries and enjoying my life and family from the comfort and safety of my own home. This time in my life is all about being present, grateful and making sure my family knows they are my number one priority, the reason why I fight.