Getting Out Of My Abusive House

Hi, my name is Charlie, I'm a disabled queer artist, and I am, and have been, victim to my mother's abuse, for over 2 years. Since getting kicked out of my father's house in 2021, I've stayed at my mother's with nowhere else to go, and since then, I have been repeatedly taken advantage of with my finances, alongside dealing with mental, verbal, and emotional abuse and neglect from my mother. She has expected me to pay for rent, groceries, and for the most part, bills in their entirety in an unfair manner, berating me and holding things over my head whenever I am unable to pay for bills that she personally said she would handle herself, as well as having to raise my own siblings and care for them where she refuses to. All of this has taken such a toll on my mental state, that it has brought about suicidal thoughts and ideation. I cannot live with her for another year, I know I won't be able to handle it. However, I have things to live for, and I want to truly be my own person, instead of being her backup, and her own financial servant. I have plans to hopefully move out with a close friend in may, and I just need the finances to be able to get out of this situation so I can truly start my own life. I've tried for years to save up to get out of here, but have had those attempts decimated due to my mother's inability to pay for bills, groceries, and rent. This is an option that I've avoided for the longest time, and admittedly, feel ashamed about even doing. It's an internalized shame, as I hate asking for help and relying for others, but I also recognize that if I want to be able to live my own life, I have to toss my shame to the side just for a bit. And so I ask, from the bottom of my heart, to please, help me get out of this hellhole, so that I can truly be my own person. Even if you can't donate, any amount of sharing is more than enough, and I appreciate anything and everything from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I truly appreciate it. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Update: i now feel far less safe at my home since my mother has started making sexual assault jokes about me, and my moving date has been pushed to sometime in june or july. again, any help is much appreciated.

Update 2: due to unforeseen circumstances, moving has been pushed back further to august or september. I don't know which. I am scared. I am barely halfway to my goal. Any help is appreciated.