Oliver King Memorial Garden

Hi,

For anyone who doesn’t know, we are Chris and Hayley. We are the parents of Baby Oliver who was stillborn at St Mary's Hospital, Manchester on the 12th of June 2023 at 32 weeks.

Our journey began at our 20 week scan which identified potential issues with his development. Many scans and testing began to understand the issues and identify the cause. The months of ups and downs we went through felt like a lifetime and we spent them all doing the only thing we could – hoping and fighting. Hoping for better news at the next appointment, holding onto any glimmer of hope we had and using them all to fight on in sheer desperation – hoping that that fight would change everything. Hoping that every kick, tumble and turn felt was a sign that he was going to be ok and hoping that we would soon be sat safe, at home with him and it would all just be a distant memory.

Oliver was diagnosed with a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia and a severe deletion of Chromosome 18. Despite the amazing care and support from the wonderful medical teams within the Fetal Medicine Unit and the midwifery teams, unfortunately, Oliver didn't make it and was born sleeping on the 12th of June - we were all heartbroken!

As a family, we are determined to ensure Oliver's memory is not one of sorrow and tragedy but reflects the gift he gave us of love, determination and smiles behind the sadness.

After such a long and difficult fight, once he was born, we were desperate to spend some precious moments with Oliver and make some memories that we could hold with us forever. The midwives were fantastic and wanted to help us enjoy our time with him as much as they could - we were offered the option of doing things such as bathing him and taking his hand and foot prints as memories to keep, which was fantastic, but we felt that sitting in the same hospital room all day surrounded by nothing but the intense sadness we naturally felt, and knowing that the whole time he had with us would be spent in the hospital, didn’t quite make the memories we were so desperately looking to create with him.

There were 2 bereavement rooms on the ward but both were in use by other families and as Hayley was recovering from a c-section delivery, we were in a standard delivery room. We needed time away from the room and the hospital environment - how could we take him out of this room without being surrounded by lots of people?

We spoke to the Bereavement Team and, after some time working out how we could achieve it, they managed to make it happen! They arranged for the three of us to spend an hour on our own in an outdoor rooftop play area at the hospital - not only did it get us out of the hospital ward room, it allowed us to share with him one of the very few ‘first times’ he would ever have - his first time outside! We were able to show him the real world, sit on a bench together alone in the sunshine, watch the world go by and just be in that moment for a while.

As this was such a positive experience for us and knowing that the Bereavement Team do not have a facility like this readily available to them, we would love to raise enough funds to cover the cost of the creation of a garden area at the hospital designed specifically for similar, bereaved families to have the opportunity of making the most of the short time they have and creating such treasured memories with their little ones. All whilst creating the perfect legacy for an amazing little boy, whose time with us was short, but has touched and his Brothers and Sisters Chloe, Lucy, Lewis and Harrison so very deeply and will forever remain in the lives, hearts and family.

We are looking forward to spending time planning and completing fundraising events as a family and will be adding any funds raised into this fund in hope that we can eventually meet the goal. We really appreciate each and every donation no matter how big or small.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story and we would appreciate your support in our efforts/cause by sharing our story/donating if you can.

Chris & Hayley