Donate to Oliver for a Sensory Garden by this Summer

Thanks so much to everyone who has donated so far we are very grateful and just thought we would share how it is coming along :) xxx

Hi, my name is Richard. I am the father of two children, Oliver and Louis, and partner to their mother Nicola. Both of our children are registered severely sighted/blind, and have Optic Atrophy and Autism. Louis is aged 12, and Oliver has recently had his 14th birthday.

I can safely say there have been a few challenges over years and we have had both highs and lows but as parents, myself and Nicola would agree we have tried our best to ensure our children have had a good quality of life despite their needs, and the impact of their needs. Although they are both complex, it is Oliver who has led me to start this page.

Oliver is a kind, loving, energetic, very thoughtful, humorous, and sometimes cheeky young boy who can also be quite mature for his age. He enjoys drumming and piano, and had lessons for both. Oliver loves fishing with family and with friends, and enjoys taking our 3 dogs, Lola, Timothy and Ruby for long walks in the countryside or visits to the beach. He loves David Attenborogh and the natural world, and talks about becoming a wildlife photographer when he is older, and going to Africa. He has said he would like to have a farm. Oliver also enjoys the Marvel films, and likes to build Star Wars Lego. History is one of his favourite subjects and he likes politics. Oliver will always have questions. Oliver likes to understand how things work or wants to know how things are built so he loves visiting castles in the UK and comments on the architecture. Oliver listens to audio books especially Rick Riordan and he and his younger brother get on well, apart from when they are arch enemies. Oliver loves to play Minecraft, and watches his favourite presenters on youtube called Stampy and Dantdm.

In January 2024 we began to see Olivers behaviour deteriorate and very quickly he disengaged with all activities and his special school. Oliver has lost many of the skills he developed over the years, his speech has slowed, and he often repeats sentences over and over. Olivers now has many rituals he has to complete before he does anything. He is often confused, his anxiety is constantly heightened and it is hard for his mother to understand what he is trying to say at times. He no longer regulates his emotions and his mom has to try to stop him from hurting himself during the times he is dysregulated.

Olivers sleep is disrupted, he only has 5 hours per night due to being up regularly. Oliver no longer uses a knife and fork, and has to be fed by his mother. He will occasionally use a spoon. He will no longer leave the house. Oliver has also disengaged with myself, his brother, all family and the dogs. He refers myself and his brother as people being in the house and will no longer speak with or want to see us because this is too overwhelming. His mother is with Oliver 24 hours a day, and much of this time is spent trying to keep him calm or avoiding the next meltdown. Myself and Louis no longer see Nicola during the day and it is only when Oliver has gone to bed we may grab a few hours. Nicola has to sleep next to Oliver on a makeshift bed.

We believed it was Autism burnout and have been in touch with the Child Adolescent Mental Health Services/CAMHS who have given medication to Oliver but could give no indication if and when this behaviour will stop. Because we were extremely worried we wanted Oliver to have an MRI which he had. The results from the MRI are that there is a Focal Syrinx on his Spine which is fluid in a small cavity within the spine. This can lead to or is perhaps causing issues. We are due to see a neurosurgeon in August.

The impact of this is that we are no longer able to function as a family altogether, we are all very upset, stressed and worried about Oliver long term. We just want our son back if possible, and Louis wants his brother back. It sounds daft but we miss him so much and he is here with us. At this moment in time I am unable to return to work due to the care Oliver requires.

The only time Oliver goes out is when his mother convinces him to go into the garden otherwise he will just sit. Sometimes his mother has said she gets to see glimpses of Oliver whilst walking up and down the garden and looking at some of the plants. This is perhaps less pressure for Oliver.

I would like to raise money to build a sensory garden for Oliver to try and get him outside more, and for him to have somewhere to relax and stay outside with his mother during the summer months and beyond.

The benefits of a sensory garden is that they can reduce anxiety and have a calming impact and particularly for children with Autism so ultimately this will help Louis, and us as a family.

I have researched what the average cost is and it can be between £150 and £250 per square metre to pay a professional to complete this. I intend to build this myself in a 70.8 metre squared area. The costs will be for sleepers for raised beds, a circular patio 2.4 metres wide, Trellis, MOT type 1 aggregate to lay under gravel pathways, a water feature, sensory plants, compost, an arch gate for the entrance, an Arbour, some seats to sit on a smaller patio area, solar lights, sensory garden decorations. We feel helpless at the moment waiting for appointments but this is something we can take control of.

This is not something I would have contemplated doing as we usually muddle through but if you do visit the page and make a donation we would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

I will update with photos and try to add videos of progress made and will try to get photos of Oliver and the dogs in the garden.

Well, I guess it is not much to look at but just been to purchase sleepers £24 per [email redacted] x 20cm x 10cm and also looked at gravel. Very exciting :) xx