Our beautiful friend Rowena needs our help

An update from Rowena...

Alot of people have been asking how I am and asking other people so I thought I would update everyone in one go as it is hard to try and reply to everyone.

Firstly thankyou to everyone for your kind messages, thoughts, cards, flowers, visits and love. They all mean the absolute world to me.

So, I had three months chemotherapy from October to January. Because I have Stage 4 "metastic cancer' there is no CURE. The treatment, (if you can call it that!) the oncologist explained, would give me more time with my family and friends and was the best chance I had. I had three months chemo and then in January had a pet scan in Perth to see how well the treatment was working. When I was having the scan Don waited in the car and I was going to ring him when I was finished because by now I was feeling a bit unsteady on my feet and didn't think I could walk out on my own. When I got back to my room the radiation Dr was there and asked where Don was. My heart sank as I knew bad news was coming. Eventually with Don in the room we got told that the tumours had spread to my brain and that one in particular was pressing on the brain which was causing it to swell. I was and am devastated that this has happened. Don and I were in a daze we did not know what to do or say to each other or anyone else. One thing we promised our boys and Tina is that we would be honest with them so we told them, it was such a hard horrible thing to have to do as its not something I could make them feel better about it. This was on the Friday, the plan was to go see my oncologist on Monday to see what my options were.

So lots of tears, hugs and despair later I got a call first thing Monday morning from my oncologist saying how sorry he was about the outcome and that I needed to be in hospital. Don took me to Albany hospital where I was admitted. The words from the oncologist basically saying that I had one option for the brain cancer and that was to try and shrink the tumours using large amounts of radiation, if I opted for no radiation then I could possibly have two weeks left to live.

Once I heard those words my whole life fell apart. I was too young and had far too much to live for but I had to somehow get the courage to fight through this.

So I was admitted to hospital and put on huge amounts of steroids to try and reduce the swelling on my brain, by now my vision was blurry, I was very unsteady on my feet and I had headaches. After four days they let me out with the assurance that I would let them know if anything changed.

The plan was to get me to Fiona Stanley Hospital asap to start radiation. The other news we got was that the chemotherapy had not worked anywhere and that the tumours in the rest of my body the lungs, liver, sternum, chest, lymphatic system, right breast had all grown in size and that basically the last three months of awful side effects from the chemo had done absolutely nothing. The oncologist basically let me know how fast it was growing and that we needed to concentrate on the brain and then look at the rest of the body because without the brain been clear you don't have the rest.

It was so hard but I had to do this.

So armed with every ounce of positivity we drove to Perth to start treatment on my brain.

I had three weeks of radiation on my chest for pain and on my brain to try and reduce the size of the tumours.

The part that is hard is that it is all out of my control and it is so frustrating seeing people I love having to suffer through this too. I wish I could take it all away but not even I can stop this pain from happening.

I am back in Denmark now and waiting to have an appt for a brain scan to see if the treatment on my brain has worked or not. It is so hard going to bed each night not knowing if I will wake up in the morning. I tell my children each night how much I love them and hear it back from them. When I kiss Don goodnight I don't know if it will be the last kiss we have.

I am trying so hard to be positive and not get upset all the time but some days I just need someone to let me cry while they hold my hand and tell me that everything will be ok.

To find out that the three months of gruelling chemo did nothing as you can imagine was absolutely devastating to me. So two weeks ago I started a new chemo drug one that is a drug trial, my oncologist applied for me to be part of the trial, the chemo has been used for other cancers but now trying it out for triple negative breast cancer. So of course I said yes.

So atm I am having treatment each week for two weeks then a week off, then two weeks on, one week off. The side effects are not good, I feel nauseated all the time from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep, my eyes are blurry and of course I worry if that is from my brain tumours or the chemo side effects but the truth is I can't do anything about it. My fingers and toes are burning, blisters in my mouth and down my throat, headaches and weakness everywhere. Sometimes I can't get off the toilet as my legs just don't have the strength to push up so Don or someone else has to help me. I can't cook or do housework and even though people say that's a good thing let me tell you it's not. I hate not been able to do my own household cleaning, cooking, daily living things. To have that independence taken away from you is so hard to deal with it's just so upsetting to feel so weak everyday and know its going to get worse worries me more.

My medical team have been fantastic making sure my choices get heard and that I am not in pain the pain management changes daily.

There has been some awesome days we just got back from being away in the caravan for three nights at Kalgan River with my sister @Bronwyn we went to Moulin Rouge which was unbelievable and meant so much to me.

Don has had to give up work now to look after me because I can't be on my own incase something untoward happens. Unfortunately funding is not available for people like me because I am too young, we have applied for carer payment but nearly eight weeks later they are getting it processed.

So to everyone that donated on here thankyou so much as this is what we are living on right now.

So if people are seeing the pictures on Facebook of me out and about and think and say how well I look they don't see the struggle, the tears, the upset of how long it took me to get where I was, I would not be doing it without my husband Don who definitely didn't think he would have to be looking after me at this age. My children James, Tina, Terence, my sister Bronwyn who has been to see me a few times to help out and make memories and my amazing friends who I would not be where I am today and I can't thank them enough, Lisa Jo, Ang and Julie. These four friends have done more for me in the last few months than others have been given in a lifetime and I am forever greatful for everything.

I am so determined not to just sit here and die because I might as well not be here now, I want to make as many memories as I can with everyone and even though it's sometimes a real struggle I refuse to give up.

So hopefully this will update everyone, if you message and I don't reply it's because I am having a bad day with vision or am just too tired or I am not on my phone because I am out making memories with the people I love. ♥️♥️

A message from Rowena's friends....

We are a small group of Rowena's closest friends. She would never ask so we are asking on her behalf.

Anyone who knows our Row will tell you she is the one of the most caring, lovely, kind, and joyful people you could meet. We feel privileged to be counted among her many friends.

Rowena was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer in 2019 and battled through crippling chemo and radiotherapy treatment, which has had long lasting side effects. It was a very difficult time for Rowena and her family, both emotionally and financially. This year has been an extra tough one as Row's husband Don has struggled with his own health issues and now sadly Rowena has had her cancer return.

Rowena has been diagnosed with inoperable, terminal, stage 4 triple negative breast cancer, with metastases to her lymph nodes, sternum, liver and lungs. This news has dealt a devastating blow to Rowena and her family. She has commenced regular treatment once again in the hope that it will extend the time she has to spend with her precious family and friends.

Of course all this has a huge emotional impact but also financial, as Row is unable to continue with work, as well as her husband Don taking a lot of time off. We are hoping to raise some much needed funds to assist with day to day expenses, treatment and associated travel, and of course, the bills that just keep coming...Anything you can give would be greatly appreciated. We know that Rowena wouldn't hesitate to do the same for any of us.

With love x Lisa, Ang, Julie, Carol and Jo.