Our Canadian Baby

A long distance relationship is hard. A long distance marriage is even harder. But even harder than that? Long distance parenting.  A lot of people thank parenting begins when a baby is born. But for us, it started shortly after we learned we were pregnant and had to make some very difficult decisions. 

At about 7 weeks pregnant Emily began to get very sick. By 9 weeks 2 hospital visits, and a miscarriage scare, Emily was officially diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum known as HG for short. HG is a rare potentially life threatening pregnancy condition which effects somewhere between 0.5-2% of pregnancies and in 33% of undiagnosed and unmedicated cases leads to maternal death. Thus began months of Hospital visits, admissions, endless IV's, and an array of extremely expensive but necessary drugs. Even with the medical interventions Emily was not able to work until part way into her second trimester, and that was short lived when she had to miss so much work due to sickness and medical appointments. 

Due to covid we have not been able to visit each other as much as we would have liked and Tom has missed most pregnancy milestones, all prenatal appointments, and all ultrasounds.  While we have been fortunate enough to spend a few weeks together this August our greatest desire is for Tom to be present at the birth of our first child.

Since Emily has been so sick we discerned it was safest for her and baby to remain in Canada for her 3rd trimester and birth. We feel like in order to have the best possible birth experience after a traumatic pregnancy would be to deliver with the midwifery team who has been providing prenatal care in Calgary.

In addition to us being very cautious of our challenging pregnancy we are also very aware that Emily's I-130 Spousal visa has not yet been approved. Out biggest fear for giving birth in the USA would be Emily needing to head back to Canada and baby having to stay. While having our child in Canada will cause extra expenses in the long run, like applying for baby as an American Citizen born abroad, the potential issues with Immigration of giving birth in the USA without Emily's spousal visa in hand is a much scarier thought. 

We are trying to raise at a bare minimum of $5,348 USD to cover the cost of Tom's flight to and from Canada as well as the income lost from 7 weeks off of work. Tom will be making use of FMLA for 7 weeks to ensure he is present for Emily and their daughter.  Included in that 7 weeks in 2 weeks of Government imposed isolation when arriving in Canada - which will end a few days before Emily's due date, and a month together as a new family. The plan is for Tom to be able to spend time with his daughter and Emily as they celebrate their first Christmas together and help Emily with her postpartum recovery while bonding with baby. 

 We would like to be completely transparent with our fundraising goal. The breakdown of what we are trying to raise is:
7 weeks of lost income $4,348
Toms flight to and from Canada $700
Unexpected expenses $300 (and potential lost income for Tom upon returning the the USA)
Anything above our bare minimum goal of covering the costs of Tom being present for baby and Emily will go towards our immigration costs for baby. 

We deeply appreciate your support and prayers. As a new family (who has already spend nearly all their savings on HG medication) this cost us is exceptionally daunting. We are trying our best to trust in the generosity of friends, family, and strangers to help us be together in this exciting and difficult time. 

Any donation amount at all helps and we are so grateful for your generosity - especially in this pandemic when everyone is facing financial hardships. Please if you are not able to donate say a prayer for us and share with your family and friends. 

We would be happy to answer any questions anyone might have.

Thank you and God Bless,

Tom and Emily Ferk.