Papa Raya Funeral Costs
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Well.. This sucks, but I am planning my father's funeral and need just a little bit of help. Honestly, above all, prayers are of greatest help because I believe it will all be worked out some how, some way, since it is ultimately in God's hands.
However, a couple of you amazing people have offered to help monetarily, so I wanted to create a platform for those who wish to help. AGAIN, please don't feel obligated, your love and support is more than enough for my family and I.
A little bit about my Daddio... Henry Joseph Raya. Dad served in the Navy and used to tell us about all the places he'd visit and all the amazing countries he had traveled to! He spoke and loved to learn many languages including English, Spanish, Italian, French, and Chinese. He also worked at the Kansas City Star, where he drew all the comics for the paper! How cool is that!... until computers took over of course. He then worked at The Nelson Atkins Museum for 30+ years as a security guard and enjoyed taking his kids with him to eat at the cafe and meet all of his coworkers... He really was such a loved man there.
As an artist, Dad made sure all of his children and grandchildren had some sort of pen/pencil/paintbrush in our hands at age 2. We have all received the creative gene and express it in various ways, this is so cool to see!
He was a simple man who's "favorite store" was the Dollar tree. Man, he loved a good deal. He believed in keeping warm, as we received hats and gloves EVERY holiday for gifts. He enjoyed his family and loved a good snack... a cookie or candy bar was his fav. It's hard to share all the deep details of my daddio because everything is still pretty fresh, but I hope this gives a little glimpse into who he was.
Dad had progressive Dementia that got worse suddenly around this time last year about October, 2017. Since then, as his DPOA and my mother's DPOA, I have fought through some of the saddest and most stressful days that caregivers experience when caring for loved ones. The fatigue and depression is real. It was often easy to feel helpless because I wanted to provide the 24/7 care myself.
Dad had four kids total, Me, my brother Mark, and sisters Rayla, and Sheila, and a plethora of grandchildren! :) When Dad's state of health acutely declined and started to alter his safety at home, my sisters, brother and I, decided a Memory Care facility was the best option. This was also one of the hardest options, though they took such great care of him. This facility was private pay, so I went into this thinking, "just let me graduate nursing school, and I will figure it out." Well, I graduated and learned the depths of Medicaid and all its hassle. Anyways, I didn't want to move him because he was doing so well there.. and no where else, accepting Medicaid, could provide the same exceptional level of care. But what do you do when you can't afford $5,000 a month in care for your Dad?
The last couple months have been an honest struggle as funds are depleted and I was cutting it close moving him into another facility, having to pay out of my savings so he could have care while he was "medicaid pending."
Though, it is crazy how God works isn't it? He was set to move into the new facility this Sunday, and I was dreading this day to be honest; Moving Dementia patients is stressful for them and a new environment with a new schedule is anxiety provoking. I didn't want to put him through this, but we had no other options d/t money situations.
I went to visit Dad this past Tuesday November 6 at 2pm. Upon speaking with a Hospice nurse, I was told he was "actively dying." This news was sudden and to be honest, I was in denial at first, this had happened so fast in the past couple days the decline was unexpected and kind of kicked us all in the face. All us immediate family were able to gather at the facility and be with him in his final hours. This meant the most to him I know, especially because we were able to get a Chaplain and make sure he received an anointing and Last Rites. He passed away with comfort measures, so I believe he was without pain and had all of his kids at the bedside.
Our hearts are heavy and still grieving but I want more than anything to give him a respectable funeral with what we have. Anything donated will go straight towards his cemetery and funeral costs. Our church is being amazing and hosting the mass and visitation.
Thank you for all of the prayers and support, they really do mean the world.
However, a couple of you amazing people have offered to help monetarily, so I wanted to create a platform for those who wish to help. AGAIN, please don't feel obligated, your love and support is more than enough for my family and I.
A little bit about my Daddio... Henry Joseph Raya. Dad served in the Navy and used to tell us about all the places he'd visit and all the amazing countries he had traveled to! He spoke and loved to learn many languages including English, Spanish, Italian, French, and Chinese. He also worked at the Kansas City Star, where he drew all the comics for the paper! How cool is that!... until computers took over of course. He then worked at The Nelson Atkins Museum for 30+ years as a security guard and enjoyed taking his kids with him to eat at the cafe and meet all of his coworkers... He really was such a loved man there.
As an artist, Dad made sure all of his children and grandchildren had some sort of pen/pencil/paintbrush in our hands at age 2. We have all received the creative gene and express it in various ways, this is so cool to see!
He was a simple man who's "favorite store" was the Dollar tree. Man, he loved a good deal. He believed in keeping warm, as we received hats and gloves EVERY holiday for gifts. He enjoyed his family and loved a good snack... a cookie or candy bar was his fav. It's hard to share all the deep details of my daddio because everything is still pretty fresh, but I hope this gives a little glimpse into who he was.
Dad had progressive Dementia that got worse suddenly around this time last year about October, 2017. Since then, as his DPOA and my mother's DPOA, I have fought through some of the saddest and most stressful days that caregivers experience when caring for loved ones. The fatigue and depression is real. It was often easy to feel helpless because I wanted to provide the 24/7 care myself.
Dad had four kids total, Me, my brother Mark, and sisters Rayla, and Sheila, and a plethora of grandchildren! :) When Dad's state of health acutely declined and started to alter his safety at home, my sisters, brother and I, decided a Memory Care facility was the best option. This was also one of the hardest options, though they took such great care of him. This facility was private pay, so I went into this thinking, "just let me graduate nursing school, and I will figure it out." Well, I graduated and learned the depths of Medicaid and all its hassle. Anyways, I didn't want to move him because he was doing so well there.. and no where else, accepting Medicaid, could provide the same exceptional level of care. But what do you do when you can't afford $5,000 a month in care for your Dad?
The last couple months have been an honest struggle as funds are depleted and I was cutting it close moving him into another facility, having to pay out of my savings so he could have care while he was "medicaid pending."
Though, it is crazy how God works isn't it? He was set to move into the new facility this Sunday, and I was dreading this day to be honest; Moving Dementia patients is stressful for them and a new environment with a new schedule is anxiety provoking. I didn't want to put him through this, but we had no other options d/t money situations.
I went to visit Dad this past Tuesday November 6 at 2pm. Upon speaking with a Hospice nurse, I was told he was "actively dying." This news was sudden and to be honest, I was in denial at first, this had happened so fast in the past couple days the decline was unexpected and kind of kicked us all in the face. All us immediate family were able to gather at the facility and be with him in his final hours. This meant the most to him I know, especially because we were able to get a Chaplain and make sure he received an anointing and Last Rites. He passed away with comfort measures, so I believe he was without pain and had all of his kids at the bedside.
Our hearts are heavy and still grieving but I want more than anything to give him a respectable funeral with what we have. Anything donated will go straight towards his cemetery and funeral costs. Our church is being amazing and hosting the mass and visitation.
Thank you for all of the prayers and support, they really do mean the world.
Organizer
Heather Raya
Organizer
Mission, KS