Patsy's Pancreas Fund: Boo cancer!

Image by J.Grace Photography, http://jgrace.net


I resisted making a campaign like this for months now (and then I made it and didn't share the link or tell anyone for another month), but I have had so many people ask what they can do to help. The truth is that, while the meal trains have been helpful, Patsy's appetite comes and goes so unpredictably that it is hard to manage a meal calendar. Many friends and family are busy with their own lives, but have reached out asking how they could help -- if they could order takeout for Patsy, or hire a laundry service for Kenny, or pay for a housecleaner. There are so many small things that have come up that my friends have convinced me there is no shame in starting a GoFundMe Campaign. So here we are.

Patsy was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer on November 17, 2016 (oddly enough, that was apparently World Pancreatic Cancer Day -- who knew?). Because the tumors have spread to her liver, she is not a candidate for surgery. She began aggressive chemotherapy on December 6 and has had a treatment pretty much every 21 days since then. The chemo drugs are intense -- much more so than the chemo she had with her breast cancer in 2001 -- and have triggered many serious side effects that have had quite an impact on her and Kenny's daily lives. My dad (Kenny) lost his job just before the diagnosis, when the American Legion building was sold and subsequently torn down. This was a blessing and a curse, of course, as now, at least, Mom has a full-time caregiver.

The oncologist's plan has been for her to have 12 chemo treatments at 2 weeks apart (though her low blood counts have forced hers to be 3 weeks apart instead), and then she would have maintenance chemotherapy perhaps once a month, basically forever. That said, I am not sure how long she will continue chemotherapy, as her quality of life has been less than ideal the more treatments she's had. If you've followed her CaringBridge updates, you know that the chemo has triggered other symptoms unrelated to the cancer.

Family has been great and helpful, but it's clear that we need to make some changes to the Kaelin home to help keep both my parents safe. My dad insists he is totally fine, but let us all remember that his newest hip replacement was in 1976. I do not like him carrying laundry baskets up and down two flights of stairs, even though he tells me I'm being dramatic. Also, it is 14 steps from their driveway to their front door, and there is no handrail. 

I have been helping out with housecleaning, dishes, laundry, etc, but I also solo parents 4 days a week and work a few jobs. It is hard to keep up.

Some of the things that we would use funds for:

-installing railing on their front steps* (quotes have ranged from $600-1200, though we have some volunteers to install a railing if we can buy the parts)

-either hiring a laundry service, or installing laundry on the same level as their bedroom

- replace the 30-year-old carpet in their bedroom, where Mom now spends most of her time. It's been through 5 dogs, and with chemo suppressing her immune system, I think her bedroom should be more sterile.

- hiring an occasional housecleaning service

And finally: doing a few "bucket list" items for Patsy. I dislike the term, but we all understand it. Specifically, she'd like to take her grandkids to DisneyWorld, and she'd like to go to New York City for a few favorite meals. Fortunately, because my husband travels so much for work, he has a lot of travel points we can use for hotel and airlines. But if anyone would like to chip in for a ticket to EPCOT or a Pastrami on rye from Katz's in NYC, that's what's on her Bucket List. 

For those of you who would like to cook and deliver a meal, but you just don't have the time -- consider donating the cost of a takeaway meal. It will be so appreciated, and can be used when Patsy has an appetite.

Thank you for reading this far and for caring and loving our family. I know there are a zillion causes out there. If you aren't up to donating anything, please just send your love. I know we all have our own struggles.

Much love,
Brigid

* updated that we recently bought and installed a handrail for part of her front steps, but they need more. David and his dad were able to install it themselves after buying the parts.